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Review: The Last Vegas’ Bad Decisions

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To be completely honest, I made assumptions about The Last Vegas before I ever listened to them. That goes for pretty much any band associated with Nikki Sixx’s Sixx:AM. Why? Because Sixx:AM is terrible. But that’s an argument for another article. It shall be entitled: A Brief Dissertation on Why I Think Sixx:AM Sucks. We’ll call this one: An Ode to an Okay Band That Tries Really Hard So They Get Credit For That.

Oh, The Last Vegas. You have all the elements. Screechy vocals specifically engineered to make girls who wear too much make-up swoon. Stripped down, growling guitars carefully soloed to make boys who wear too much hairspray want to start a band. A clever-ish pun for a name that’s pretty memorable even though they’re from Chicago. But as a make-up harpy who knows quite a few hairspray junkies, this just didn’t do it for me.

The first two songs on the album are so utterly bland that the only thing I actually remember about them is that they’re wannabe Gun N’ Roses ditties. The following songs, “Bad Decisions” and “Evil Eyes,” I actually wouldn’t mind hearing again. They have shades of Led Zeppelin, rather than feeling like the work of a graduate of the AC/DC school of Every Song Sounds the Same. “Don’t Take It So Hard” actually reminds me of a band that I loved but who just disappeared after one album: Young Heart Attack. They both have that same bittersweet air of rock n’ roll memories.

In fact, The Last Vegas really doesn’t fit in with the contemporaries with whom they have been compared. Crashdiet? Nope. Sister Sin? Nope. There is nothing the least bit dirty or dangerous about The Last Vegas. They’re like the rock band your parents would invite over for dinner. The Last Vegas just don’t have that certain something that lifts them from the ranks of good-guy-rock n’ roll to pay-attention-sleaze-metal.

The Last Vegas’ Bad Decisions is out now. You can stream the album here, and purchase it here.

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