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Here are the Bullshit Nominees for This Year’s Bullshit “Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance” Grammy

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The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences has announced the nominees for this year’s “Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance” Grammy, an award slightly less meaningful than the “Certificate of Attendance” I was given in Hebrew school when I was eleven. And the nominees are:

  • Anthrax, “I’m Alive”
  • Halestorm, “Love Bites (So Do I)”
  • Iron Maiden, “Blood Brothers [live from En Vivo]”
  • Lamb of God, “Ghost Walking”
  • Marilyn Manson, “No Reflection”
  • Megadeth, “Whose Life (Is It Anyway?)”

Lamb of God have been nominated for a Grammy three times before, and lost each time; I imagine they’ll lose again, which blows, because a) after the year they’ve had, they deserve to win, and b) I love the idea that a Grammy-winning song would have debuted on MetalSucks. I don’t think Anthrax stand a chance because Hyman Mendlebaum or whomever the fuck votes for these things will never vote for a band called “Anthrax.” Ditto Marilyn Manson (unless the song title leads voters to believe that Drew Carey is in the band), and Megadeth are probably out because a variation of the word “death” appears in their name, although if Hyman mistakes them for Metallica, they could take it. I can’t even believe Halestorm got nominated but they ain’t winning either. I guess Iron Maiden takes it by default then. They won last year, too.

This particular award won’t be televised, but the winner will be announced on Who Gives a Fuck, 20Bullshit.

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