Ted Nugent’s Gun Country Executed
According to The Raw Story*, Ted Nugent’s Gun Country, a Discovery Channel reality program that I did not even know existed until about ten seconds ago, will not be returning to the network, either because it would be in poor taste following this past Friday’s Connecticut school shooting, or because I’m not the only one who had no idea it was even a thing. It apparently debuted as an hour-long special in October, but the only thing special about it was that it outed The Nuge as a lying sack of shit:
“Nugent and his allies at the National Rifle Association (NRA) repeatedly claimed that his hour-long Discovery Channel special was actually a planned ‘series.‘The Detroit native and longtime southern rocker even told Armed America Radio listeners in October to ‘expect that there will be at least a dozen shows a year.’ The channel’s spokesperson confirmed that this was never actually in the works.”
It’s possible that the spokesperson for Discovery Channel is lying to the press to avoid embarrassment, or that some Discovery executive lied to Nugent because that’s what television executives do. If the latter is the case, I’d like to reassure said exec that any subsequent macho threats Teddy makes are total bullshit, and he does not need to hire extra security to protect himself. I’m saying that Ted Nugent is a Kirstie Alley-sized pussy.
Digression: I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how shit like this really only seems to happen to horrible musicians. Maybe I’m just justifying MetalSucks’ existence here, but there really does seem to be a direct correlation between shitty music and the creators of said shitty music turning out to be total assholes and/or morons. Of course, taste is subjective, but give it some thought for a second: it’s not as though last week a member of Napalm Death or Faith No More or Baroness released a completely fucktarded statement announcing his departure for the band last week, and it wasn’t a member of The Dillinger Escape Plan or Gojira or Enslaved who was arrested on kiddie-fucking charges today. The only exception I can even really think of off the top of my head is Dave Mustaine turning out to be a total bigot, and even that example barely applies, given that Mustaine’s best work is two decades behind him. (In other words, the Dave Mustaine who thinks that African women should “put a plug in it” is the same Dave Mustaine who thought that “Breadline” was an acceptable song to release into the world, and that “bread line” is one word.) It’s the Tripp Eisens and Uncle Krackers of the world who turn out to be colossal pricks on an epic (e.g., not just egotistical) scale, not the Chuck Schuldiners and Alex Websters. Why is that, do ya think?
*Fun side-note: eight years ago, The Raw Story my third professional writing gig ever. Good times.