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Dave Mustaine Hates Men’s Wearhouse

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On the off-chance that any of you aren’t familiar with Men’s Wearhouse, it’s the clothing store chain with the commercials where the owner (apparently his name is George Zimmer) comes out and says:

And I know what you’re thinking: “Metal has spent so many years taking on organized religion and corrupt politicians — but when is somebody FINALLY going to stand up to these assholes?!?” Well hold on to your dicks, because here comes Dave Mustaine to fight the good fight. He posted the following message on Facebook on December 28:

“Droogies,

“I know that not all of you have the kind of job that requires a suit, or wear a suit when you (if you) go to any kind of faith-based service, court date, wedding or funeral, but if you do…you are going to want to read this. You know me, I don’t complain much in writing, but I gotta get this off my chest.

“A few days before Christmas I purchased a gift certificate from the Men’s Warehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah as a gift for our awesome tour manager Jim Carroccio. You know the Men’s Warehouse…the old geezer with the voice that sound like he has chain-smoked since he was a fetus; the one that espouses, ‘I absolutely guarantee you’re gonna like the way you look,’ or some manure like that, right?

“Well, I was talking to Jim today and wondering why he didn’t say anything (I think we all wonder sometimes when our loved ones or friends get gifts if they actually like them) and it turns out that they decided to hold my order, otherwise called by them as ‘pending,’ and told no one. For almost 9 days now I have been waiting for delivery of this gift certificate, and I wouldn’t say anything because it IS the holidays, but these salesmen promised that they would GUARANTEE a two-day delivery of the certificate to Jim (it seems they throw this word GUARANTEE around quite a lot).

“So, we called and asked what happened and they have no explanation whatsoever, they didn’t care, and when we asked if they were going to do anything to remedy this, they made no effort whatsoever for this mix-up…although they did promise me the same GUARANTEE that they gave me when I bought it; that is that they will send it ‘two-day delivery,’ but I already was promised this. Maybe they mean 12 day delivery.

“I really think that it sucks when people make false claims, that they don’t care to make good on a problem that is clearly their fault, and with all of the ‘ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE IT’ crap I just had to say something. We are all living in very tight financial times right now, and like I said, you may not wear a suit for your job or for an event or occasion, but if you do, I would strongly recommend you wear someone else’s suits. Go to Jos. A Bank instead. I for one, will never set foot in a Men’s Warehouse, even for shelter from a blizzard.

“I absolutely GUARANTEE it.

“Dave Mustaine”

First of all: holy shit, dude, if you’re ever caught in a blizzard and you seriously cannot find shelter anywhere else, by all means, go into the fucking Men’s Wearhouse. It’s really not worth it to freeze to death to make some kind of point. I guarantee you George Zimmer is not somewhere going, “He froze to death rather than step foot inside our store? WE MUST ENSURE THAT NO HOLIDAY GIFT IS EVER TARDILY DELIVERED AGAIN!!!”

Second of all, it was very lawyerly of Mustaine to write “I don’t complain much in writing.” Because he certainly couldn’t just claim “I don’t complain much.”

Third of all, HOLY CRAP DAVE, I don’t know if you know this, but YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED TO SHARE EVERY THOUGH THAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD WITH THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. I totally understand why this pisses you off and I even understand the instinct to use your platform to deny this chain some money, but let’s be real here — you’re not going to put Men’s Wearhouse out of business or even do any real damage to their bottom line, and now, in addition to all the other batshit crazy you’ve infamously said, you’re going to be known as the dude who bitched and moaned about a men’s clothing store chain. Three words, brah: NOT. FUCKING. METAL.

Thanks: Dylan

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