Cinemetal

Cinemetal Round-Up: An Absence of This or the Apocalypse’s Patented Choreographed Dance Moves Edition

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I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Brent Hinds puts into concealing his weapon.

We begin today with This or the Apocalypse’s video for “Hate the Ones You Love.” The clip was directed by David Brodsky, and I’m tempted to make a crack about how that means the video is better than the song, but the truth is, I think the song is a lot better than most TotA I’ve heard. Maybe I’m having an easier time focusing on the music now because Brodsky didn’t include any of the group’s patented choreographed dance moves in the clip?

Next of is “Band of Brothers,” the new clip from Deez Nuts. I’m kind of amazed that a band called “Deez Nuts” would be this humorless. On the plus side, the band’s name and the song’s name and all the shots of dudes hanging all over each other and then the close-up of a guy sticking an extremely phallic joint in his mouth make this the most homoerotic video of 2013 thus far, so it’s got that going for it. In all seriousness, though, I’d like to applaud the band for not including any of This or the Apocalypse’s patented choreographed dance moves in the clip.

Next up is Venomous Maximus’ unsurprisingly druggy video for the song “Path of Doom.” Maybe this is my barbiturates and bourbon breakfast talking, but I really dig this video. This kind of thing usually feels like it was made by a college freshman who just discovered weed for the first time, but for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on after an initial viewing, it works. So far, my theories as to why this clip is successful include the fact that the song rocks, and the fact that it doesn’t include any of This or the Apocalypse’s patented choreographed dance moves.

And we conclude today with Raunchy’s new clip, “Nght Prty,” a song about people who hate not only vowels, but original music and entertaining music videos, too. There’s actually a moment around the 1:33 mark when one guitar player seems to be trying to choreograph some moves with the other guitar player, and they totally botch it, because they’re Danish, and Danish people have even less rhythm than Jews (Jewish Danes are totally fucked). This helps explain why I really enjoy the disco beat thing the drummer is doing during the chorus. Well, that, and the fact that the video doesn’t include any of This or the Apocalypse’s patented choreographed dance moves.

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