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For Just $5k, Tim Lambesis Will Tattoo Your Initials On His Tushy

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Despite the misgivings of some of his peers, As I Lay Dying vocalist Tim Lambesis has taken to Indiegogo to raise funds for a new Austrian Death Machine album, which will be called Triple Brutal, as well as tour to support that album. As usual, donors will receive various goodies in exchange for their help. But Lambesis has gotten, well… let’s say “especially creative” with his offerings.

Sure, for ten to fifty bucks, you can get all the usual stuff — digital downloads, CDs, vinyls, shirts, etc. But it’s the pay grades about fifty bucks where things start to get interesting:

All the pumping iron stuff, by the way, isn’t just an Ahnuld joke — if you haven’t seen Lambesis recently, well, he’s JACKED. Like, you could paint him green and have him play The Incredible Hulk no problem. I have no trouble believing that punching him in the stomach absolutely could break someone’s hand. It’s not really a surprise that, as of this writing, twelve people have already forked over $100 just for a single workout with Lambesis. And $500 for a month’s worth of sessions with a personal trainer actually isn’t a bad price. I’d take Tim up on the offer but I’m not giving up beer or Pop Tarts anytime soon.

Of course, the best one, far and away, is getting your initials tattooed on Tim’s butt. It’s even funnier when you consider that Lambesis is willing to do it twice. Those two people could end up being total strangers to one another, of course, but I think it would be really romantic if a couple paid ten grand to be side-by-side on Tim Lambesis’ ass forever. He’s a really nice dude, I bet he’d even let them draw a little heart around the initials. Wouldn’t that be sweet?

Go here to donate. Lambesis has forty-five days left to reach his goal of $63,000. Here’s a campaign video:

[via Metal Insider]

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