Shit That Comes Out Today

Sh*t That Comes Out Today: April 30, 2013

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Cauldron Tomorrow's Lost

Okay, let’s get this real fuckin’ straight: This is *one helluva kickass week* for metal. I can’t tell you how many times my little heart fell in love while rocking all these new jamz for Shit That Comes Out Today. Wait, actually I can: a million. One hundred fucking million times. The gods of musicus heavius have blessed us with their outstretched arms of fire. Fall into their embrace and burn, baby, burn! And click all these sexy links right fuckin’ now!

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Sacred_Mother_Tongue_-_Out_Of_The_DarknessSacred Mother Tongue
Out Of The Darkness (The End)
On a playlist with: Destrage, Face Down, Soilwork
Listen Out Of The Darkness full stream (here) “A Light Will Shine” (here) “Seven” (here) “The City is Crying” (here)

Every great day starts with pumping. Lots and lots of hard, sweaty, grunty pumping. Pumping up, that is, you sick bastard. And that’s why I’m starting you out with Sacred Mother Tongue, because they’ve got swing and beat and jam and lava-riffs and nuclear drum fills and screaming solos (hnnnng check out “A Light Will Shine” at 0:23) and all that kinda shit, son! Just what the doctor ordered for when you wake up at god’s most unholy hour feeling like a freight train carrying small models of freight trains has eaten part of your brain. Not everybody is gonna love the vocals, they’re a bit generic, okay? But forget that and focus on the rip-rashing riffing behind the entire ensemble, it’s a wedding buffet of razor-clean nut tickling. Ahem, I speak the truth.

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Altar of Plagues - Teethed Glory & InjuryAltar of Plagues
Teethed Glory And Injury (Profound Lore)
On a playlist with: Ash Borer, Skagos, Lantlôs
Listen Teethed Glory and Injury full stream (here)

Blackened to just the right extent, the new Altar of Plagues jam is balm for my aching ear-holes.  I mean, lemme just word-shit about it: Teethed Glory And Injury is gentle like a mother, smooth like butter, esoteric like the controls of a jet fighter made of skin, wild like Beatrix Kiddo, uh, dynamic + crunchy + evil + well-paced, and best of all, fuckin’ heavy. My favorite is the third track, “A Body Shrouded,” which has such gentle feels and yet stays decidedly dungeon-esque and raw/rotten to the core (pay special attention at the 2:57 mark). They handle discordance like they were holding a million-dollar vase, but then they break the fuck out of it. Omg don’t tell mom!

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Arsis - UnwelcomeArsis
Unwelcome (Nuclear Blast)
On a playlist with: The Black Dahlia Murder, Gorod, Neuraxis
Listen “Scornstar” (here) “Unwelcome” (here)
Read Axl Rosenberg MetalSucks interview (here)

Arsis rips shit to pieces. And holy shit, among their sickening brutality are these sweet, sweet little melodic bits which make me chortle in delight! Super-creepy giggling aside, I love the top comment on the MetalSucks link for “Scornstar”: “It’s such a bummer that these guys aren’t massive.” Right on, they are pro. I mean, I wanna be hammering down the highway at imprudent speeds with Unwelcome at explosion-level volume. I’ll also be wearing sunglasses. Because everybody is gonna be like “slow down asshole,” but then they’ll catch that .04 seconds of Arsis as I blast by and then say, “Awww yeah, get it son!” Deal wit it.

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Hessian ManégarmrHessian
Manégarmr (Southern Lord)
On a playlist with: Rise and Fall, Integrity, Oathbreaker
Listen “Plague Monger” and “Manégarmr” and “Sons of Avarice” (here)

Well hello Belgium! As an asshole and a one-time visitor of Brussels, I assumed that your lovely nation was dedicated only to this, this, this, and this — which … gosh, which makes you fucking awesome! But now you’re even awesomer via Hessian’s punishing kickassery. Seriously guise check out “Plague Monger” right nao; at only two minutes, it’s packed with rippage and ascending triplets and brick-smashing thrash — more than most bands could fit in four minutes. And though the jam is the perfect duration to brush your teeth (hahaha, “Plaque Monger”), its power would leave you with bloody, toothless gums and a sad story for your dentist.

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Howl - BloodlinesHowl
Bloodlines (Relapse)
On a playlist with: Baroness, Kylesa, Saviours
Listen Bloodlines full stream (here)
Read Emperor Rhombus MetalSucks review (here)

Aw yeah, fuckin’ aw yeah. Howl mates the most subtle elements of so many divergent genres to create Bloodlines — they’ve deconstructed and reconstructed many metal lineages, just like how the horror movie genre was kicked into the lake and electro-shocked back to life in Joss Whedon’s The Cabin In The Woods. (See that movie!) Anyway, Bloodlines is the exact kind of album that can be cherished like a baby seal by all types of metal lovers — it’s kind of like all things to all men, that ethereal quality which you just want to rub up against like a cat begging for attention. Meow, motherfuckers! Also, “With a Blade” at 3:54. Rock it.

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The Ocean - PelagialThe Ocean
Pelagial (Metal Blade)
On a playlist with: Mastodon, Intronaut, Isis
Listen Pelagial (instrumental) full stream (here) “Hadopelagic” (here) “Bathyalpelagic II: The Wish in Dreams” (here)
Read Dave Mustein MetalSucks review (here)

I’ve saved the best for last. Not just the best of today, or this week, or of this month — the best of 2013. If any new album will top Pelagial, then you can consider my mind completely fuckin’ blown. Cuz this album — this work of aghast, sheer exuberance — could  be the best 54 minutes I’ve ever heard.  It not so much as redefines quintessentialism as it never takes it into consideration in the first place: Pelagial is violently organic, real, and true, and it comes into its own more goddamn effortlessly and passionately than everything else in our little world of heavy music. I mean, it’s so fucking good that its instrumental version is a proper album — the music itself is fluid and self-realizing, and cherishes its time in your brain cells exciting synapses and neurons depending whether you have Loïc Rossetti making your spine shiver. I bow to this achievement. It’s why I love music.

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OTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT TODAY

The Body Master, We PerishAgrimonia Rites Of Separation (Southern Lord) listen
Amorphis Circle (Nuclear Blast) listen
Avantasia The Mystery Of Time (Nuclear Blast) listen
Battle Dagorath Cursed Storm Of The Ages (De Tenebrarum Principio) listen
Beissert Darkness Devil Death (Agonia) listen
» The Body Master, We Perish (At A Loss) listen
Bone Sickness Alone In The Grave EP (20 Buck Spin) listen
Cathedral The Last Spire (Metal Blade) listen
Monarque Lys Noir¤ Cauldron Tomorrow’s Lost (Earache) listen listen
Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! Pardon My French (Fearless) listen listen listen listen
Coliseum Sister Faith (Temporary Residence) listen
Corsair Ghosts Of Proxima Centauri EP reissue (Shadow Kingdom) listen
Deep Purple Now What?! (Eagle Rock) listen listen
Famous Last Words Two-Faced Charade (InVogue) listen
Freedoms Reign Freedoms Reign (Cruz del Sur) listen listen
Heaven Shall Burn Veto (Century Media) listen listen read
PursonHIM Tears On Tape (Razor & Tie) listen
Hybrid Angst (Deepsend) listen
Louna Behind A Mask (Red Decade) listen
Mechanical Swan Black Dawn Romance (Bakerteam)
The Melvins Everybody Loves Sausages (Ipecac) listen
» Monarque Lys Noir (Sepulchral) listen
Moonreich Terribilis Est Locus Iste (ATMF) listen
NightShade An Endless Vision (Bullet Tooth) listen listen
Orchid The Mouths Of Madness (Nuclear Blast) listen listen
Sacrilegious Impalement» Purson The Circle And The Blue Door (Metal Blade) listen
Pushmen The Sun Will Rise Soon On The False And The Fair (The End) listen
Redrum Victims Of Our Circumstances (1-2-3-4-Go!) listen
Revelation Inner Harbor (Shadow Kingdom) listen
» Sacrilegious Impalement III: Lux Infera (Woodcut) listen listen
Simulacro Fall Of The Last Idol (De Tenebrarum Principio) listen
Soul Of Steel Journey To Infinity (Bakerteam) listen
Starkill Fires Of Life (Century Media) listen listen listen
Tom Keifer The Way Life Goes (Merovee) listen
Watertank Sleepwalk (Solar Flare) listen

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