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She’s He’s My Cherry Pie: Jani Lane’s Curse

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At a few times in his life, late Warrant singer Jani Lane had occasion to regret his hugest hit “Cherry Pie.” The way he tells it, the story goes that he resented the dumb-ass jam from the start, cuz his aim had been to make fluffy Warrant into a respectable rock band via a hard-hitting, adultish sophomore album. But that didn’t work out, so Lane then spent a few years raking in truckloads of ill-gotten cash in return for chanting about his zest for swingin’ in “Cherry Pie.” And friends, that’s one way to set off a deluge of self-loathing: take huge rewards for knowingly acting a fool. Plus, if that weren’t enough bad vibes for one blockbuster single, let’s recall that Lane met his smokin’ hot ex-wife on the shoot for its video. Sigh, it all turned out to be a curse. Bummer.

So it’s everybody’s hope that Lane had made peace with all of that before his death in 2011. That would mean that his ghost could maybe enjoy a sweet laugh today at the use of “Cherry Pie” in Adam Sandler’s summer comedy Grown-Ups 2 (above at 1:45). See, the sexy song about boffing a girl in her home’s many rooms is the soundtrack for a clip in which Kevin James’ all-American Eric is about to reach sniffing distance of a pack of nubile cheerleader girls — but at the last minute is mobbed by wet gays instead. Which is hilarious cuz Eric is not into men hahaha cough. His wife loves it (??) and he must suppress the boner launched by the now-distant promise of a peek at some tight, young minge. Cue “Cherry Pie.”

Anyway, we can see that a) James himself is about 8000 miles down the road to Lane-style self-destruction (ancient jokes about gay panic in 2013 ugh); and b) Poor Jani can’t catch a break even in death. Paired with such a hacky, wack scene, “Cherry Pie” has shamed him yet again. Sorry Jani :) xoxo

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