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What Does a Loon Like Dave Mustaine Consider to be “Crazy”???

  • Axl Rosenberg
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Dave Mustaine Insane Asylum

Now that the world has spoken and declared Pooper Collider to be ungiveafuckable, Dave Mustaine has apparently decided to begin writing a new Megadeth album. Not the worst idea ever — the sooner he can write something that people actually like, the sooner we can all go back to making fun of him for being a loon, as opposed to making fun of him for being a loon who recently releases one of the worst metal albums of the year.

And a loon apparently he shall remain, if the following tweet is any indication:

This begs the question: what does Dave Mustaine, who is fascinatingly crazy, consider to be fascinating and crazy… and, for that matter, science? This is, after all, a man who believes in the power of prayer to heal the sick and the ability of Alex Jones to unveil political truths. So I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to assume that Mustaine may try to assert that the following are “facts” on the lyrics of the next Megadeth album:

  • Newton’s law of gravitation is a lie originally conceived by Communists attempting to stop free trade.
  • The Shining contains secret messages which, if decoded, reveal that Stanley Kubrick helped stage the moon landing.
  • Slash isn’t real.
  • Kirk Hammett is The Don of the same “Gay Mafia” that allegedly ruined Michael Ovitz’s career.
  • Scott Ian stole the song “Only” from him via the dream-extraction technology from the movie Inception.
  • The government is injecting AIDS into Chicken McNuggets.
  • Barack Obama is just Hillary Clinton with a spray-on tan.
  • The same “star whackers” who Randy Quaid says killed Heath Ledger are after him.
  • His spiritual alter-ego is Pac Man.
  • The Twin Towers were brought down by Rotting Christ fans.
  • No woman can get pregnant so long as the man screams “By the Power of Grayskull… I Have the Power!” right as he ejaculates.
  • Ben Affleck allowed Satan to impregnate Jennifer Garner in exchange for being awarded the role of Batman.
  • Only Dave Mustaine can stop a forest fire.

Conclusion: I can’t wait to hear the lyrics on the next Megadeth album!!!

[via The PRP]

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