Ice Nine Kills Release Most Boringest Parody of American Psycho Ever

Given that it’s dark, funny, and violent, I assume most of you have seen the movie version of American Psycho. But in case you haven’t: one of the best (and most famous) sequences in the movie is a scene in which the protagonist, Patrick Bateman (played by Christian Bale), invites a frienemy (played by Jared Leto) back to his apartment, whereupon he gives him a detailed lecture on the pleasures of Huey Lewis and the News’ Fore!, and then proceeds to brutally murder him with an axe. Here’s the scene, for the three of you aren’t familiar with it:

So. Why am I talking about this scene from American Psycho? Because someone just sent me this promo that metalcore outfit Ice Nine Kills (a band with a history of needlessly referencing movies they love for no apparent reason) have released for their new album, The Predator Becomes The Pretty (out now on Outerloop Records), and it’s a parody of the above scene… I guess. It’s really pretty pointless and boring and uncreative. All they did was change the soundtrack and re-dub Bale’s voice so that they could add one introductory line of dialogue, say “Ice Nine Kills” instead of “Huey Lewis and the News,” and change the joke at the end about getting a reservation at Dorsia to something about… uh, I’m not sure. I’ve re-wound and listened to it three times and I can’t quite tell what he’s saying. Something about merch. Otherwise, it’s a line-for-line re-creation. They didn’t even have to re-dub Jared Leto. (They did add one other quick gag about their manager, but you have to wonder how many of their fans will even get that joke. I would wager that 99.9% of the world’s population does not know the name of the manager of their favorite band.)

So… like… why is this funny? It actually would have been better to not re-do Bale’s voice on any of the lines save for “Huey Lewis and the News” and make it really obvious that it was a different actor, so that the silly contrast between the two might incite giggles. But, nope. This is just… whatever. Dumb.

To wash the bad taste of INK out of your mouth, watch this far, FAR funnier parody of the same scene:

In related news, I now really wanna re-watch American Psycho. So I guess this thing served a purpose after all.