Five Finger Death Punch Bassist Chris Kael Lacks Self-Awareness

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Can you imagine if the makers of the new Godzilla movie were like, “We just had a huge opening weekend and so Warner Bros. put the sequel into development immediately, and the reason all that great stuff happened for us is because people were really interested in the human drama!”? The entire world would collectively call bullshit. There are some talented human beings in the movie, but none of them are even on the goddamned poster. Godzilla is a hit because people wanna watch monsters destroy shit. Period.

Might seem like an odd comparison to make, but the reason I mention it is because of this totally delusional statement that Five Finger Death Punch bassist Chris Kael made in a recent interview with Rock 105.5:

“People are always talking about, ‘Oh, nobody’s buying records anymore. Nobody’s buying records.’ If you put out garbage, no one’s gonna buy it, ya know? You’ve gotta really focus on the craft. It’s all about the songwriting, you know. At the end of the day, regardless of whatever else you’ve got going on, unless you’ve got a good song, no one’s gonna buy anything. So, ya know, we take pride in writing the best songs that we possibly can. We’ve been doing it for awhile, and we keep on plugging away.”

Of course, art is subjective, so you could argue that FFDP write really great songs, and that’s why they’re so big. But keep in mind that Kael got his job, at least in part, because he met a series of aesthetic requirements which had nothing to do with his talent as a bass player. Cliff Burton, arguably the greatest heavy metal bassist of all time, could have walked into FFDP’s audition room, and he wouldn’t have gotten the job because he was over six feet tall. So you’ll excuse me if I’m not quite buying that their success is due to their “focus on the craft.” They’re success is due to the fact that a lot of dumb people enjoy lowest common denominator nonsense.

And, oh, by the way, I checked, and Kael has zero songwriting credits with FFDP. So really just gimme a fuckin’ break and go fight Johnny Depp or something, dude.

[via The PRP]

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