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Too Soon? David Lee Rothmund’s Best of 2014… So Far

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Best of 2014 So FarSo gals and guys, we’re only halfway through 2014, and I’ve already permanently ruined a few pairs of underwear. Why? Cause there have been some serious bowel-loosening releases so far! As the curator of the weekly “Shit That Comes Out Today” column which everyone loves goddammit, I have the privilege of hearing just about every album that drops. Okay, so not every album, but a damn sight more than enough. This all should put me in a position of authority, then, no? No way. I’ve got my kinks and weirdisms and who-the-fuck-are-you’s. Everyone’s different, everyone’s got their jam. There’s no magic bullet album, definitely no all-round winners (although Enabler seems to garner wide praise). This is about how these albums connect with you — yes, you — real deep down, right in your large and small intestines and penises/vaginas.

Anywho, the albums so far this year which stained my shorts the most had some Fucking Magical Quality X, or FMQX for short. A high FMQX rating means that the album dug deep into my soul and either gave me goosebumps or moments of uncontrolled ejaculation. All the albums below went off the FMQX charts. Looks like I’m gonna need a new chart.

FWIW: Enabler’s La Fin Absolue Du Monde is pretty much liquid sex for anyone who loves to dream about punching shit but never actually does. Archspire’s The Lucid Collective is the absolute fucking pinnacle of technical death metal. Soreption’s Engineering The Void is almost as good, just more European. Destrage’s Are You Kidding Me? No. makes you want to party, party, party. Scars Divide’s EP is about as good as whatever-core can get. Plebian Grandstand’s Lowgazers reminds us that underground French postmetal reigns king. Lantlôs’ Melting Sun because Ihsahn didn’t release anything this year. Dwellers’ Pegan Fruit because, uh, yeah, just listen to it.

Archspire – The Lucid Collective (Season Of Mist)
Destrage – Are You Kidding Me? No. (Metal Blade)
Dwellers – Pagan Fruit (Small Stone)
Enabler – La Fin Absolue Du Monde (The Compound/Creator Destructor)
Lantlôs – Melting Sun (Prophecy)
Plebeian Grandstand – Lowgazers (Throatruiner)
Scars Divide – Scars Divide EP (Tenacity)
Soreption – Engineering The Void (Unique Leader)

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