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“All Bad Things”: The New Mötley Crüe Song is… Fine

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Old Motley CrueAdmittedly, my expectations for Mötley Crüe have never been lower than they are right now, but the band’s new, final, and final new single, “All Bad Things,” is really not all that, uh, bad! I mean, I’ve actually heard a version of the song before and totally forgot about it, which doesn’t speak very well of the track. But at least I don’t remember it because it’s so awful the way I do a lotta post-Feelgood Crüe songs! It’s catchy. Sure, Nikki Sixx continues to be obsessed with writing lyrics that break the fourth wall (see also: “Kickstart My Heart,” “Power to the Music,” “Fake,” “Saints of Los Angeles,” etc.), but at this point you just accept it, the way you just accept that your dad will probably never be very good at texting. If Mötley Crüe really is dunzo (and I won’t believe they’re done until at least every member who isn’t Mick Mars is dead (the guitarist actually passed away in 1992)), I think this is a fine note on which to conclude.

The band has also announced that, following the September conclusion of their seventy-nine-year-long farewell tour, they will play what is allegedly going to their final show ever. It will take place at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on New Year’s Eve. Maybe they’ll all dress up as the aging 2015 baby? That would be adorable!!!

Here are all of Mötley Crüe’s upcoming tour dates, via Rolling Stone:

July 22 – Eugene, OR @Matthew Knight Arena *
July 24 – Tacoma, WA @ Tacoma Dome *
July 26 – Billings, MT @ Rimrock Auto Arena at MetraPark *
July 28 – Boise, ID @ Taco Bell Arena *
July 29 – Salt Lake City, UT @ EnergySolutions Arena *
July 31 – Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center *
August 3 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre *
August 5 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center *
August 7 – Milwaukee, WI @ BMO Harris Bradley Center *
August 8 – Chicago, IL @ Allstate Arena *
August 9 – Detroit, MI @ The Palace of Auburn Hills *
August 11 – Hershey, PA @ Giant Center *
August 12 – New York, NY @ Barclays Center *
August 14 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center *
August 15 – Worcester, MA @ DCU Center *
August 16 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena *
August 18 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena *
August 19 – Cincinnati, OH @ U.S. Bank Arena *
August 20 – Indianapolis, IN @ Bankers Life Fieldhouse *
August 22 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre *
August 23 – Ottawa, ON @ Canadian Tire Centre *
August 24 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre *
August 26 – Baltimore, MD @ Royal Farms Arena *
August 28 – Raleigh, NC @ PNC Arena *
August 29 – Charlotte, NC @ Time Warner Cable Arena *
August 30 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena *
September 2 – Miami, FL @ American Airlines Arena
September 4 – New Orleans, LA @ Smoothie King Center *
September 5 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
September 6 – San Antonio, TX @ Alamodome
September 15 Monterrey, NL @ Arena Monterrey
September 10 – Mexico City, DF @ Arena Ciudad de Mexico
TBA – Las Vegas, NV @ TBA
December 31 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center

*with Alice Cooper

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