What the...??

Vorzug: Bad at Death Metal, Great at Enlisting C-List Celebrities to Make Videos

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varzug celebsWho the fuck are Vorzug? I can’t recall having ever heard about this band until a couple of hours ago, when a friend from Relapse Records forwarded us this video from the pro-wrestler known as Raven:

Needless to say, this incredible video made extremely curious about Vorzug, so I started doing some research. The first thing I learned: Raven is not the only famous-ish person to make a video on behalf of the band and/or one of its members. Other “celebrities” who have done so include pro-wrestler “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, model/actress Angie Everhart, and a horrifying mutant claiming to be Tawny Kitaen.

The next thing I learned is that this band actually is on the Amazon death metal chart. I have no idea how this has come to pass. They have 1,700 “likes” on Facebook, which is not that impressive. I have received one press release about them, ever, and that was almost exactly a year ago, at which point they were described as “newly formed.” So is it really easy to make it onto the Amazon niche charts? Are the band’s moms and girlfriends just buying as many copies as they can afford? Does whomever is in charge of these charts accept small fees in exchange for silly favors, as the folks in the videos above do? I’m seriously asking. I do not understand.

The last thing I learned about Vorzug, though, is by far the most important thing that I learned about Vorzug. And that thing is this: their music blows.

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