Friday 5

Friday 5: What Iconic Drummers Should Break Into Extreme Metal

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Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).

Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting. 

Today, let’s talk about drummers drafted to do the devil’s work!

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THE FIVE

What drummers should be forcibly compelled to play underground metal?

THE LISTER

Anso DFMetalSucks senior editor

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1. John Bonham
from Led Zeppelin
teamed with Joe Duplantier (Gojira)

You’re rooting around in the attic of your recently-deceased aunt. On the prowl for treasure, you brush up against a tarnished old lamp when from it springs a magical genie. It had been trapped in there for centuries, and now wishes to compensate you for your good deed. So you are granted the power to make five awesome non-extreme metal drummers join awesome extreme metal projects. And the power to resurrect the dead. Generous genie, right?

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2. Alex Van Halen
of Van Halen
teamed with Warbringer

Still, I’d probably bug the genie a bit about this new power of mine. I’d ask, does it have a use? And Genie would explain that none of the drummers would fail to bring their essence to the project, they’d be recognizable and fluent, such would be their magically-induced passion. They wouldn’t disappear into some band or sound absurd. Nodding, I’d reply that I couldn’t even picture an extreme metal project with AVH on drums. But he blows me away, so it’d be rad.

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3. Carmine Appice
of Ozzy, Blue Murder
teamed with BTBAM

Pantera drummer Vinnie Paul is not into extreme metal, but I bet 95-year old thunder god Carmine Appice would give it a whirl. His blastbeat would rip!!

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4. The guy from Refused
from Refused
teamed with Watain

Neil Peart playing metal might be identical to Danny Carey and Tool, so let’s not use a Genie wish on that. Let’s instead wish for a spell to be cast on that guy in Refused so that he does an album with Watain. That’d be wild!

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5. Abe Cunningham
of the Deftones
teamed with: Kjeld and Nergal

And it’s not like each super-drummer would join and get lost in an existing act; they’d be contributors, each would stretch. That’s important to keep in mind when you try to imagine Cunningham supercharging an album of blackened death metal. Genie where are you!

Your turn! Have a great wknd!

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