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Friday 5: What Five Bands You’d Order To Release A Double Album?

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Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).

Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you!). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting. 

Here we go!

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THE FIVE

What five bands are the next to release an awesome double album?

THE LISTER

Anso DF, MetalSucks Senior Editor

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Steel Panther
Most recent album: 2014

On the horizon are new double-albums from a prog headliner (Dream Theater) and a revered underground duo (Cobalt). It gets you thinking: What other bands could stretch a concept across an album that lasts more than 80 minutes, like The Book Of Souls by Iron Maiden? Or, is there a crew so flush with excellent songs that a collection of them could fill two discs, like Soilwork’s The Living Infinite? Who do you trust with that large a piece of your time? Well, if you ask me, every Steel Panther album ends too soon.

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Inquisition
Most recent album: 2013

A band may opt to stuff their albums to capacity with interludes, goofing off, and soundscapes. It’s a good policy for acts like Tool, whose songs are demanding and intense; listeners are granted a break in the same way that theme park-goers get to reorient themselves between rollercoaster rides. But a listener’s interest in “transition tracks” expires fast, so maybe this philosophy is designed to aid only the first few listens. But what if this approach was adopted by a prolific, indefatigable, awesome psychedelic black metal duo from Mars?

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Coroner
Most recent album: 1993

Coroner songs are not needy. They vibe heedlessness to your interest; though pivoting on explosive guitar solos and undulating tempos, they don’t exactly sprint down the path to your attention. As such, a Coroner album is muted and monochromatic. For its listener, the result is hypnosis and a willingness to be seduced, the posture of a theatergoer leaning subtly forward to discern a whispered joke. Imagine 90 minutes of that!!

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Katatonia
Most recent album: 2012

The double-album serves another type of band: one split between two of its own aesthetics. Take Katatonia, who released two versions of the same album — a heavy version, an airy acoustic redux. Every great album would benefit from a re-imagining — see also this awesome band — but we might propose a two-disc set of songs of each type, instead of the same songs two ways. No new Katatonia songs since 2012, might they have 20 great songs for us in 2016?

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Lacuna Coil
Most recent album: 2014

A surprise to me is the popularity among my friends of my “all-killer/no-filler playlist” of Dangerous Toys jams. It’s requested at parties and hang-outs, dinners and car rides by my loved ones who dig country, hip hop, Pitchfork stuff, and of course heavy music. I did not see that coming. Nor did I predict that I’d weekly take down my personal collection of Lacuna Coil favorites in all of its 33-track glory. That’s, say, 150 minutes of music from ten years of LaCoil (starting with 2006’s Karmacode). A simple extrapolation makes it seem manageable for them to concoct an awesome 2LP by 2018.

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Your turn! Have a great wknd!

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