Tim “Ripper” Owens’ Restaurant Robbed of Seventy Cases of Beer
Beer theft is no joke, guys. Sure, you may think it’s funny to lift a few forties from a party or five-finger a tall boy at your local deli (wait, that sounds wrong). But think of the poor sober person out there, who wants a beer but doesn’t have one because you wanted to be a badass. As they realize he will now have to talk to their annoying-ass boss or significant other sober, a single tear rolls down their cheek. Cue sad music.
Sadly, one of our own was recently the victim of beer theft. Tim Owens’ Traveler’s Tavern, the Akron, OH bar and restaurant co-owned by former Judas Priest singer and basis for Mark Wahlberg in Rock Star Tim “Ripper” Owens, was robbed of seventy cases of beer this past weekend. Jesus weeps.
Apparently, the beer was stolen from an outdoor walk-in cooler, the door of which was broken with hammers and crowbars, leading Owens to believe the culprit was “was probably an old employee or a regular who knew the cooler was back there and happened to steal that night.” Since then, the cooler has been reinforced with a razor wire fence and additional security cameras.
The beer stolen from Owens is believed to be golden, crisp, refreshing, and the only way to have a good time. If you or anyone you know has seen Owens’ beer around Akron, please let him know before shotgunning a couple of cans and passing out in front of the TV.