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The Next Stone Temple Pilots Singer Is… You?

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The first change of singers for Stone Temple Pilots was a bad end to years of trouble. Their flaky frontman had prioritized self-destruction over the band’s health for the previous decade, and finally it made sense to cut him loose as STP fortunes dwindled in earnest. Also less than viable were a pair of projects that starred the non-Weiland part of STP fronted by, respectively, a random and a stud whose own band was in a spiral.

So the smart move in 2013 was to match the creative excellence of those two one-offs to the post-Weiland STP brand. Enter Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, the singer equivalent to American cheese, and a few years of good visibility and hollow victory. But hey, after Weiland, any measure of stability must’ve felt like triumph. Like departing Hollywood for a unlosable job in local government.

Alas, here in 2016 Bennington is history and the next STP vocalist could be you: The band announced Friday open auditions via internet for the big gig at the STP mic. Via comparison with their past two guys, we may conclude that this new candidate will be required to carry a tune, successfully take off a jacket, and weigh roughly 120 lbs. For the band guys, it must be a lot of foul work required to pick a winner, hence a proposal: I’ll do it for triple-scale and a promise that Robert DeLeo works on the next Paramore album. Hand shake.

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