Here’s a Playlist of Songs to Harsh Your Stoner Friend’s 4/20 Buzz

Marijuana is a fun recreational substance with all the harmful effects of caffeine that most people of any moral fiber enjoy. What it produces, however, are people who are really, really into marijuana, and constantly talk about it, and enjoy stupid marijuana humor like this and this and this fucking shit.

Of course I smoke weed, because I live in a big city where it’s legal and I have wild mood swings best tempered by a considerable bong rip. But as a metalhead, I’m also aware of how infuriating ultra-stony weed obsessives can be, and actively love music that has no place being played in a drum circle. It’s like my love for folk metal or The Nightmare Before Christmas–I’m super down with weed, but people who looove weed, man often annoy the piss out of me.

So here, for all the curmudgeonly bastards out there being assaulted by marijuana culture this April 20th, is a playlist of buzz-harshing music. It contains songs that are unpleasant to hear while stoned, including a ditty about Satan’s dick, the world’s most obnoxious ballad, and a classic thrash track that’s actually about how weed is bad for you. Don’t like it? Good, that’s the spirit.

Happy 4/20, everyone. Now get a job, you worthless hippies.*

*…said the blogger.