Dermatological Conclusion: A Playlist For Metalheads with Bad Skin

Last week, I put together a playlist of songs revolving around my bad back. That affliction hit me suddenly and laid me out. Thankfully, after a week and change of bed rest and painkillers, I’m on the mend and able to wipe my ass without snarling.

But while I only recently understood to horrors of back pain, I’ve dealt with skin issues my whole life. Since I was a kid, my epidermis has been a freakshow of epic proportions. I’ve dealt with heat rash, acne, impetigo, molluscum, and all manner of blotches and hives that torment me for days if I, say, put on the wrong sunscreen, or touch my face too soon after being in the same room as a cat.

Bad skin is as metal as a bad back, just in a very different way. While back pain is more about weakness and anguish, skin conditions are about bulging sores and weeping pus–the sort of disgusting things that remind anyone they are nothing more than a meat snack from the universe’s gas station. You never see a bad back, but man, you can stare right into a patch of irritated flesh beading with yellow fluid. It’s the difference between Meshuggah and Impaled — one’s primarily psychological, the other tangible and very sticky.

So to all of the dermatological horrors out there who can’t so much as wear an unfamiliar hat without breaking out in yards of crust, who have medicine cabinets filled with A&D, Bactoban, Cortaid, and Black Salve–here’s a playlist of songs about having terrible skin. That they’re mostly grody gurgling death metal (and a GWAR track) should surprise none of you.