Congratulations to Tripp Eisen, who just won the “Vast Understatement of the Year-So-Far” Award. Eisen (né Tod Rex Salvadore), you may recall, left Dope to join Joey Jordison and Wednesday 13’s Murderolls, then left Murderdolls to join Static-X, then got sacked from Static-X for one of his three arrests on charges of allegedly having had sex with an underage girl, kidnapping and assaulting a fourteen-year-old, and attempting “to Lure or Entice a Child.”
Now, in a new interview with Totally Driven Radio (via The PRP), Eisen blames his repeated trysts with barely-pubescent girls “Horrible judgement.” The guitarist then added, “Human beings need air to breathe, and two plus two equals four.”
Kidding aside, here’s the complete sentence (no pun intended) from Eisen:
“Horrible judgment. What happened to me was really bad judgment, terrible mistakes that I made, and I paid a price for ’em.”
I may be biased against grown men who shtup junior high school girls, but this quote actually really bothers me.
First of all, “mistake” seems like it’s underselling what Eisen did a bit. He didn’t trip and fall into a fourteen-year-old’s vagina, he took deliberate actions to make that happen.
Second of all, I can’t stand when someone is asked about something shitty they did and their reply includes some variation of the phrase “I paid the price.” It’s a not-so-subtle way of asking to be let off the hook: “You can’t hold it against me, I did my time!” It’s partially true, but it’s also self-serving and makes your atonement seem insincere, like the guilt doesn’t weigh on you so heavily these days.
You can listen to the whole interview below and see if you think I’m being unfair. If you’re so inclined, you can also check out footage of Eisen’s new/old band, Roughhouse, here.