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Oceano Enjoy Their Highest First-Week Sales Ever, Become the Anti-All That Remains

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Since we’re always ragging on bands like All That Remains and Avenged Sevenfold when their first-week album sales don’t meet expectations, we feel like it’s only fair to report that Oceano’s new album, Revelation, gave the band their highest first-week sales to date (via Lambgoat):

  • Revelations (2017) – 3,400
  • Ascendents (2015) – 1,650
  • Incisions (2013) – 1,600
  • Contagion (2010) – 3,000

To what can we attribute Oceano’s sudden surge in success? The promotional efforts of their new label, Sumerian? The fact that they didn’t release the album as a surprise or toss around slurs against minorities on their social networks? Did the band’s members all marry into massively wealthy families that are now obligated to buy copies of their records? Or could it simply be that the national average I.Q. has dipped considerably since 2015?

We may never know for sure, but if I may, I’d like to posit a fourth possibility: that nearly 2,000 Christians all bought the album under the mistaken assumption that it contained content relevant to their interests.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

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