“Belgium’s busy-as-a-beaver death metal sickos Aborted have recorded two new tracks for you!” announces a press release heralding Aborted’s new EP, Bathos. This marks the first and last time Aborted have ever been likened to something adorable. If you’re worried that means the band has turned into All That Remains or some shit, though, fret not: “Fallacious Crescendo,” one of those two new tracks the band has recorded for you, is more likely to kill a beaver than to remind you of one. It’s the kind of song that would just grab that lil’ guy by his fat tail and swing him around and bash the cuteness right out of him. It would also probably piss on the beaver’s dead body and leave it nailed to the beaver’s dam, just to send a message to the other beavers. Cruel? Perhaps. But that’s just the kind of song “Fallacious Crescendo” is.
Let “Fallacious Crescendo” grab you by the tail and beat you to within an inch of your life below. Bathos comes out July 7 on Century.