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Kid Rock Releases New Music, Comments on His Run for Senate, Demonstrates That He Did Not Understand the Movie Captain Phillips

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Kid Cock — er, Rock — has released a pair of new songs, “Po-Dunk” and “Greatest Show On Earth,” as part of his alleged upcoming run for a U.S. Senate seat in Michigan. I haven’t listened to either one but I assume that they’re slightly more painful than falling down a flight of stairs.

In an accompanying statement, Rock attempts to ride both the “I’m not a politician”  and “Don’t trust the media” waves started by Donald Trump — because things are going so smoothly for our current leader — and then compares himself to the heavily armed Somali pirates who took an American hostage while attempting to hi-jack a shipping boat:

“Once again the press is wrong. First of all, I’ve got 15 days from my announcement to file paperwork with the FEC! Second, I’m not signed to Warner Bros!!! – which simple fact-checking would have revealed. I have recently worked out a unique deal with BMG, Broken Bow, CAA and Live Nation to release music ON MY TERMS.

“Like politicians write books during their campaigns, I’m planning on putting out music during mine and IT ALL STARTS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT. It’s not a hoax, it’s a strategy and marketing 101! No plans for an album or anything else that has been the usual norm in the music business OR politics…..and…..

“Senator Stabenow and I do share a love of music, although probably not the same kind. I concede she is better at playing politics than I am so I’ll keep doing what I do best, which is being a voice for tax paying, hardworking AMERICANS and letting politicians like her know that We the People are sick and tired of their bullshit!

“I am the captain now.”

“#fakenews #kidrockforsenate #kidrock #podunk #greatestshowonearth”

Yes, the media is guilty of not knowing the thoroughly important fact of which label represents Rock, who is a voice for tax paying, hardworking AMERICANS. Of course, he uses that voice to quote the movie version of Somali who terrorized Americans and eventually ended up in prison after his cohorts were killed, but whatever! He’s using all the right words, like “press” and “hardworking” and “AMERICANS” in all caps.

For her part, his opponent, Debbie Stabenow, is keeping it classy — snarky, sure, but snarky with dignity:

Are constituents in Rock’s district dumb enough to vote for a guy who relates to a failed thief and doesn’t know how many periods are in an ellipsis? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was “yes.” President Camacho is right around the corner.

[via The PRP]

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