People are Really Excited That This Cow Kinda Sorta Looks Like Gene Simmons


We have low standards for what passes as ‘entertainment’ these days. So people are very excited about this recently-born calf whose spots kinda sorta make it look like Gene Simmons in full KISS make-up. The calf’s owners even named it ‘Genie’ in Simmons’ honor.

Simmons, of course, is delighted, and took to social media to assure fans that “This is real,” as though someone found a skidmark that looks like the Virgin Mary. Simmons is also, I assume, pursuing legal action against the calf for copyright infringement.

This is all actually very insulting to the cow, which is a quite a bit more attractive than Simmons. That being said, it also seems to have saved Genie’s life from becoming someone’s steak, so I guess she’s probably okay with it.

This seems like a good excuse to once again recommend Chuck Klosterman’s Fargo Rock City: A Heavy Metal Odyssey in Rural North Dakota, recent editions of which have an illustration of a cow that looks like Gene Simmons on the cover. It’s a great book, and unlike Gene Simmons, it won’t give you diarrhea of the mind.

[via The PRP]


Metal Sucks Greatest Hits