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Shit That Comes Out Today: September 22, 2017

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PSA: The following opinions are that of an intoxicated blogger who is writing about music after a historically shitty week at his other job that isn’t MetalSucks. Due to the fact that many quadruple ales and several glasses of brandy were consumed before and during the construction of this post, the fact that any of this is coherent is a miracle and reader discretion is advised. All butthurt and saltiness from this point on is solely the responsibility of you, the reader. Dont drink and shitpost, folks.

Mastodon - Cold Dark PlaceMastodon
Cold Dark Place (Reprise)
On a playlist with Baroness, Crowbar and Devin Townshend Project
Listen: “Toe to Toes”

Are you shocked that Mastodon are dropping new music such a not even six months after Emperor of Sand? If you are, then I don’t care! I would imagine that no one else does either because they’re probably too damn busy jamming to this kickass new EP. Much like the area my day job makes me want to go to die, uhhhhh, I don’t know. My day job kind of just makes me want to die. But fortunately, “Toe to Toes” keeps my fire to keep on living burning hotter than your proverbial mother. Conclusion: Buy this. It’s really fucking good. Just like the rest of the Mastodon catalog.

archspireArchspire
Relentless Mutation
On a playlist with Decrepit Birth, Diskreet and Spawn of Possession
Listen: “Human Murmuration”

Archspire are a band first introduced to me by a dotcomrade I met while playing PlayStation borderline blackout drunk. Although I’ve never been that fond of technical death metal, Archspire stand out from the crowd a bit because their sound isn’t quite as grating as the rest of tech death is to me. I get it, tech death bands. You can play your instruments in a million different time signatures, but you can’t play them in a single one that I actually want to listen to. Whatever. Archspire are better than the rest of the cesspool of tech death. They’re right up there with Diskreet and Decrepit Birth, even if I didn’t like their new album that much.

king-parrotKing Parrot
Ugly Produce (Housecore Records)
On a playlist with Psycroptic, Child Bite and Prong
Listen: “Ten Pounds of Shit in Five Pound Bag”

My first memory of King Parrot was at the birthday party of some random chick who I never liked. It wasn’t the music I heard, but rather the band shirt my friend Shane was wearing as he came out of the basement wearing a King King Parrot shirt and a gas mask bong attachment as a thong. He was not wearing anything else. The ensuing lapdance she unwillingy received was an absolute thing of beauty that is matched only my the grace and glory of King Parrot’s music. It is also one of the biggest travesties of my life is that the picture of him wearing said gas mask thong was lost. But fortunately, King Parrot have enough good music, such as the music on this album this album, to fill the void that the lost picture has created.

satyricon-deep-calleth-upon-deepSatyricon
Deep Calleth Upon Deep (Napalm Records)
On playlist with Darkthrone, Emperor and Gorgoroth
Listen: “Deep Calleth Upon Deep”

I have no idea how to start this thing so I’m going to plug the latest episode of the MetalSucks podcast where you can listen to the man himself, Satyr, talk about the band. The title track of this album is absolutely mesmerizing. The atmoshpere, the vocals, just everything about it is awesome. Satyricon have that perfect balance of crispness and raw potato recording quality that I honestly think every black metal band needs to copy. If you’ve never been into black metal, give these dudes a spin. They’ve been at it for a long, looooooong time and if they can’t win you over, then I hate you.

wolvesinthethroneroomWolves In The Throne Room
Thrice Woven (Artemisia Records)
On a playlist with Sun O))), Agaloch and Altar of Plagues
Listen: “Angrboda”

If Satyricon made you decide that you like black metal, then I would suggest taking the next step into all that is kvlt by checking out Wolves In The Throne Room. Not only is their band name completely fucking badass, but their music has the kind of aura that stirs up all the dark and evil shit the sleeps inside of you. And that’s exactly what black metal should do! I have enver been more excited to listen to 10 minutes of black metal than I am right now. And you know what? You should be excited too. Because if you’re not, then once again, I hate you.

OTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT TODAY
Alcest Souvenirs d’un autre monde (10th Anniversary) (Prophecy Productions) listen
Baphomet The Dead Shall Inherit (Vinyl) (Peaceville) listen
Brant Bjork Europe ’16 (Napalm Records) listen
Circa Survive The Amulet (Hopeless Records) listen
Counterparts You’re Not You Anymore (Pure Noise) listen
Devilish Impressions The I (Lifeforce Records) listen
Enter Shikari The Spark (Play It Again Sam/Ambush Reality) listen
Gojira From Mars To Sirius (Vinyl) (Listenable Records) listen
Gojira The Way Of All Flesh (Vinyl) (Listenable) listen
Implore Subjugate (Century Media/Pelagic) listen
Matt Cameron Cavedweller (Migraine Music) listen
Otherwise Sleeping Lions (Century Media) listen
Rotting Christ Passage To Arcturo (Vinyl) (Peaceville) listen
Sonata Arctica Ecliptica (Vinyl) (Spinefarm) listen
Sonata Arctica Silence (Vinyl)( Spinefarm) listen
Sonata Arctica Winterheart’s Guild (Vinyl) (Spinefarm) listen
Sons Of Texas Forged By Fortitude (Razor & Tie) listen
The Bronx V (ATO Records) listen
Therion Of Darkness (Vinyl) (Peaceville) listen
Vulture Industries Stranger Times listen

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