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Necessary Roughness, Week 10: So Many Fake Punts!

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Every Saturday on The Athletic, they have local writers contribute little blurbs from both sides of the five most interesting games on Sunday. This week, the article opened:

“The​ Week 10​ slate is​ not the sexiest — it was​ a struggle to​ find​ five​ games​ here, and we’re stretching​ the​​ definition of ‘intriguing’ with some of them.”

I personally had a crazy schedule so I only caught the second half of the late games on Red Zone (fucking blackouts are KILLING ME) and the night game. So let’s get to it!

Cowboys 27 – Eagles 20: Being a Giants fan, I didn’t really have a dog in this fight. Being a person in a relationship, I REALLY had a hard time justifying hogging the TV to watch two teams who make me want to puke slap fight each other. Luckily, this was actually a pretty damn fun game! Jason Garrett lives to coach another week on the back of Ezekiel Elliott and Amari Cooper. Chris Collinsworth said it best when he said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “The Cowboys coaches are kinda like ‘fuck it’ amirite?”

Really though, it’s a lot easier to make ballsy calls and go for it when you have a wrecking ball like Ezekiel Elliott running rampant through the Eagles D. The Eagles just didn’t have any answers for Elliott and that’s a shame because Dak Prescott seems to be getting worse as a QB as the season progresses. Dude was taking horrific and unnecessary sacks and missing gimme throws left and right.

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Better look at the hurdle! Zeke flew 😱

A post shared by Ezekiel Elliott (@zekefeed) on

Rams 36 – Seahawks 31: This is another game that was way closer and more entertaining than it had any reason to be. Seattle’s line is one of maybe two units in the league that’s as bad as the Giants and Russ looks like he’s sick and tired of dragging this team to mediocrity. His scrambles are still legendary, but it honestly looks like he’s physically maxed out when he has to go for 15 to make up for the lack of receivers, running backs, tight ends, lineman, defensive backs, etc. This was a game where I just couldn’t figure out why the score was the way it was when the Rams were so clearly outclassing the Seahawks. But then then I realized that Marcus Peters is almost the sole reason the ‘Hawks were able to keep clawing back.

Jesus! The Rams D Line is ferocious and dominating, but if there are brutal coverage breakdowns like the ones Peters seems to be constantly responsible for, then it doesn’t really matter…

Luckily for Peters, Todd Gurley is an unstoppable scoring machine and they’re almost always playing with house money. If the Rams had lost this game, everyone would be all over them. Instead, they’re gonna be all over Peters. This game got chippy af, and all the writers I’m reading today have a problem with that along with Sean McVay. But, it’s a division game, it’s how it should be! Maybe don’t elevate it to Steelers/Bengals territory, but I like when teams have obvious beef.

Fantasy Pimp of the Week: Welcome back David Johnson! This poor bastard is stuck on a team going nowhere, but at least he gets to pad his stats while Josh Rosen learns. I think Rosen is gonna be good based on nothing except that I like how he rubbed the entire NFL the wrong way by having a political opinion in college. He should probably keep throwing to Johnson though.

  • There were TONS OF FAKE PUNTS this week! What a treat! Bills, Cowboys, Raiders, Packers, and Dolphins all converted on fakes! That’s good footbaw!
  • The Saints hanging 51 on the Bengals is almost as fun as the Browns taking down the Falcons. The only problem with the Browns victory is that each win makes it more probably that asshole Gregg Williams will be a head coach next year. I hope for Cleveland’s sake he takes his “talents” literally anywhere else.

  • Jason Garrett calling a fake punt was ballsy… for the prudes in Dallas. How about Mike Vrabel trolling the fuck out of Bill Belichik? C’mon… he pantsed his former coach!

  • I usually have plans on Monday, but barring a last minute rehearsal I’m gonna be free to watch tonight’s poop-throwing match between my Giants and the Niners. Should be a long one.
  • The Chargers have now won six straight. Barring a collapse by the Rams, I think they’re going to wreck someone in the wildcard and treat us to a sweet Cinderella story.

The Number Twelve Looks Like You is heading out on tour in November with our buds Rolo Tomassi and Arsonists Get All The Girls. If anyone wants to watch football or play Magic: The Gathering at any of our dates get in touch! Check out the dates below and tell me how much we suck in the comments.

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