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Here is Concept Art from Rob Zombie’s Abandoned Remake of The Blob

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In 2009, Rob Zombie announced that he was going to remake The Blob, the 1958 cult classic that launched the career of Steve McQueen and was already remade once — and quite well, I must say! — in 1988 by the director Chuck Russell (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3The Mask). Having already demonstrated no understanding whatsoever of what made Halloween great when he re-made that movie in 2007, Zombie immediately made clear his intentions to now demonstrate no understanding whatsoever of what made The Blob great by removing the titular monster from his version:

“My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change. That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.”

In Zombie’s defense, he was completely correct to assume that there was absolutely no way to update that “gigantic Jello-looking thing” so it would be scary to modern audiences. Kind of reminds you of casinos in USA, doesn’t it? Nope. Not. Even. Conceivable.

ANYWAY, I mention all of this because the artist Alex Horley, a frequent Zombie collaborator, has now unveiled some concept art Zombie commissioned for his version of The Blob, which, tragically, will never actually be produced. We still know very few details of what Zombie’s Blobless Blob story would have been, but the art suggests that a Giger-esque riff on the monolith from Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey would have played a key role (presumably in helping to create the non-Blob), that Zombie would have found a way to work in a metal band, and that in lieu of man-eating red jelly, the “Dragula” singer’s threat would have revolved around zombies who may or may not have had some gelatinous qualities.

Horley is clearly a talented artist, but I’m glad this is never getting made. For one thing, it clearly has no reason to be called The Blob other than someone thought the recognizability of the title would help with marketing. For another thing, Rob Zombie rarely makes good movies, so I’d rather he fuck up his own original shit than someone else’s.

Speaking of which: Zombie is currently hard at work on Three from Hell, the latest installment in the House of 1,000 Corpses/The Devil’s Rejects franchise. Expect that to be released sometime in 2019.

[via Bloody Disgusting]

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