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Extremely Important Corey Taylor Updates!

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I know you all have been wondering why MetalSucks has been slow on the Corey Taylor update front lately as you anxiously await news about The Only Important Person in Metal. Rest assured that Corey’s manager, Cory Brennan (yes, Cory manages Corey), has been hounding us relentlessly to ask what’s up, and our meager assertions that the Threatin saga and 2018 year-end list mania have been dominating the headlines (and more importantly click lines, IYKWIM) were met with groans of disapproval.

Of course, if you follow Corey on Instagram and Twitter — and no self-respecting fan of metal or hard rock has any excuse not to — then you already know what he’s been up to. But for the rest of you, and for Mr. Brennan, here’s a quick summary!

He is currently in Australia with Stone Sour

The final show of that tour is tomorrow, December 11th. Here’s what you’ll see if you attend:

He turned 45 years old!

Happy birthday, Corey!!! May we all be as sexy and relevant as you at 45.

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45… #dickglasses #thankseverybody

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He is mega in loooooooove

Look at these two lovebirds!!!

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WE MADE IT!! #australia #goodthings

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He is a fan of Behemoth

I wouldn’t have predicted it either, but Corey is a man of the people who has demonstrated time and time again that he has good taste in all forms of the arts, so really it shouldn’t be surprising. He also calls Nergal “my friend,” although perhaps we should question we he held back on the pinnacle of adoring phrases, “best dudes” and “homies.” HMMMMMM.

He is as fiery and political as ever

Taylor retweeted all of the following tweets, which expressly call out Trump as the criminal/asshole he is. I’m shocked we haven’t seen more of a backlash from right-leaning Slipknot and Stone Sour fans to date, but they probably simply aren’t paying close attention.

He still has a sense of humor about himself

Stone Sour got a shitload of streams on Spotify last year

Holy crap that’s a lot. For some reason I don’t think Corey is too bummed about the low per-stream payouts.

There, don’t you all feel better now? I promise, we will never let such a long period of time pass without crucial Corey Taylor updates ever again. This is basically how Corey greets us whenever we see him:

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