We recently polled a wide array of musicians, managers, publicists, label reps, and writers from within the world of metal to find out what they thought the 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century So Far have been. Eligible albums were released between January 1, 2000 and April 1, 2009. Each panelist turned in a ballot, with their #1 album worth 21 points, their #2 album worth 20 points, and so on and so forth. The ballots are now in and we’ll be counting down one album a day until we reach #1. Today we present the #1 album, coming in with a total of 420 points…

Insane Clown Posse, Bizzar/Bizaar (Island, 2000)
Violent J — Vocals
Shaggy 2 Dope — Vocals
Produced by Mike E. Clark and ICP

Twenty albums down and the anticipation has built for the #1 record. It looks like the panel pulled one out of left field here, as most of you probably forgot about this sleeper record that made such a big impact on metal for this new millennium. And the catch here is that it wasn’t just one record, but a DOUBLE album that takes the spot. Those records being Insane Clown Posse’s 2000 releases of Bizzar and Bizaar. Most of you have been fans of this duo since their major label debut in the mid-90s. Before there was Slipknot, before there was Mudvayne, and before there was the greatness that is Mushroomhead – there was ICP and their legion of “Juggalos.” Forget “maggots” – these fans connected with their band unlike anyone has since. Hell, what other band has had the balls to feud with Eminem, especially in such a “safe”city like Detroit?

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We recently polled a wide array of musicians, managers, publicists, label reps, and writers from within the world of metal to find out what they thought the 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century So Far have been. Eligible albums were released between January 1, 2000 and  April 1, 2009. Each panelist turned in a ballot, with their #1 album worth 21 points, their #2 album worth 20 points, and so on and so forth. The ballots are now in and we’ll be counting down one album a day until we reach #1. Today we present the #8 album, coming in with a total of 170 points…

In Flames, Clayman (Nuclear Blast, 2000)
Anders Fridén – vocals
Jesper Strömblad – Guitar
Björn Gelotte – Guitar
Peter Iwers – Bass
Daniel Svensson – Drums
Produced by Fredrik Nordström

It was my senior year of college in 1996, sitting in coffee shop, reading the latest music rag (taking a break from my Old Testament studies) when I came across a review for In Flames’ The Jester Race. Something about it caught my eye as that was the time I was getting more into of the Scandinavian metal like At The Gates and Amorphis. I picked it up and was blown away how they had made “death metal” so “melodic.” I almost denounced my religion and started a cult dedicated to this semi-new genre of metal!

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Hello, my Metalsucks children.  I write you on this day of rest from a flat in London as I recover from 3 days in Donington where I witnessed this year’s Download Festival.  I know a lot of you probably saw the live streaming on the festival site, so I won’t waste your valuable internet surfing time with bad Youtube clips (well, just a couple).

Why is Anton OyVey in the United Kingdom you ask?  Three words: FAITH NO MORE and three more words: AMERICAN EXPRESS POINTS.  Years ago, I had the chance to go to the holy land of Israel for free and turned it down.  But when my musical deity, Mike Patton, got back together with (most) of Faith No More, I couldn’t miss it.  Unfortunately after I had booked my flight they announced a pre-Download play at Brixton Academy, which everyone here tells me was one of the greatest concert experiences of their life. But I did get to see their first festival show in over a decade along with some other amazing (and not-so-amazing) bands.

So, on to my latest metal gospel.  If you don’t know about Download, it is the biggest UK rock and metal festival that started in 2003 and takes place at the same legendary location as the “Monsters Of Rock” Festival (back before most of you ended up being the lord’s little mistakes).  This year’s attendance was said to be over 75,000 people and had a very diverse lineup of metal, rock, classic rock and even some electronic. Three days, four stages and 120 bands, so I obviously was not able to see them all.  Here are two sentence reviews of each band I had the chance to witness (or that people were buzzing about):

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1. Torche – Meanderthal (Hydra Head)
2. Septic Flesh – Communion (Candlelight)
3. Raconteurs – Consolers Of The Lonely (Warner Bros)
4. Foxy Shazam – Introducing (New Weatherman/Ferret)
5. 36 Crazyfists – The Tide and its Takers (Ferret Music)
6. Secret & Whisper – Great White Whale (Tooth & Nail)
7. Eluveitie – Slania (Nuclear Blast)
8. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Dig Lazarus Dig (Mute)
9. Opeth – Watershed (Roadrunner)
10. The Giraffes – Prime Motivator (Crustacean)

AFTER THE JUMP: Anton OyVey’s Top Christian Rock Bands of All Time

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MUSIC: Tastes Great
LYRICS: Less Filling

(3 out of 5 shofars)

-AO

Hey! Now Anton OyVey has a Facebook page! Check it out and then read below for another edition of “Ask Anton Oyvey,” in which the MetalSucks rebbi answers all your toughest questions…

“Shabbat Shalom, Rebbe,

“As a teenager, I would come home from yeshiva and immediately throw on some Iron Maiden, Rhapsody, In Flames, or other metal deities, and crank the volume up to eser. When abba, the alter cocker, came home, he would rant and rave, ‘Gevalt, why must my son have such loud noise all the time??’

“The Torah says I should honor my father, but I don’t want to disrespect Bruce Dickinson. What to do, what to do?

“Your Hasidicore Pal,

“Metal Mendy”

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And now it’s time for another edition of “Ask Anton Oyvey,” in which the MetalSucks rebbi answers all your toughest questions…

“Dear Wisdomful Great One,

“So i’m only 16. Where i live u get ur license at 18. I got two bitches after me – one is a complete babe, the other has a car and can drive me the fuck around. Do I…
a) Pick the babe
b) Pick the driver
c) Pick both.

“My heart tells me the babe, my brain tells me the driver, and my dick says both.

May your wisdom guide us all
DV”

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Hi there my children, it’s your favorite metalhead rabbi, Anton OyVey. Thanks for submitting all your questions to me over here at the Metalsucks Mansion. Axl and Vince took hours scouring through the thousands upon thousands of desperate pleas for help and asked me to answer these lucky few below. Enjoy my pearls (or is it really perils) of wisdom, and remember… don’t mix your milk and your meat!

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