Here’s the funniest thing you’ll see all day.

Hopefully you all remember Dave Hill, The King of Metal, from the hilarious Metal Injection interviews he did with fans outside a Testament concert in 2008; if not, you should absolutely watch that video first and then watch this one, ’cause it’s fucking hilarious.

But Hill has really outdone himself this time. See, now Metal Injection sent him some modern black metal, and no, he did not enjoy it, not one bit. He has nothing but horrible things to say about Valdur (“Turn this off, I’m gonna puke all over myself”), Liturgy (“I’ve heard lesbian folk groups that are more black metal than this”), Mgla (“I’ve written better black metal songs just by eating a burrito and farting”), Krallice (“Oh, I think an Avenged Sevenfold song must have gotten on here somehow by accident”), Castevet (“These guys sound like they’re waiting for the rest of the band to show up to practice” ), and Woe (“Is this band’s album only for sale at Hot Topic?” ). And while I don’t agree with all of his assessments of the material — I loves me some Krallice, for example — I do appreciate anyone this vitriolic. A man after my own heart, Hill is. Or, I guess I’m after Hill’s own heart, since he’s The King. But you get what I’m saying.

ANYWAY, click on the below screen cap to check out the video. It is truly a must-watch.

-AR

Is it just me, or have metal videos been getting, like, better recently? Sure, some bands still release crappy clips — that’s just the way of the world, and ain’t nuthin’ ever gonna change it — but just this month alone, Helms Alee, The Dillinger Escape Plan, The Black Dahlia Murder, In Defence, Metsatöll, and Caustic Casanova have all released really memorable vids. THAT’S SIX GOOD VIDEOS IN JUST A FEW SHORT WEEKS.

And now, with Wormrot’s new clip for the track “Breed to Breed,” we can make it SEVEN. Sheesh. I think that’s more than were released in all of 2006 combined.

ANYWAY, the Wormrot video works well because of all the weird-but-simple (in other words, unique and memorable) imagery — it will definitely stick in your brain. Of course, the fact that it’s a very short grind song doesn’t hurt. This would probably get boring if it were for, say, a ten-minute BTBAM opus or something. But for a one-minute Wormrot song? Perfect!

“Breed to Breed” appears on Wormrot’s EP, Noise, which you can still download for free right here.

-AR

[via Heavy Blog is Heavy]

UPDATE, 2/22, 4:34 pm: Four more dates added. Thanks to Jonathan for sending ‘em in.

Are you guys sick of all these awesome tours being announced yet or what? Yeah, I didn’t think so. You can sleep in September. Maybe. Probably not. Oh whatever.

In case the giant poster at the top of this post didn’t give it away, the next trek about which to get excited will be headlined by the tech-death gods in Origin, with support coming from Cattle Decapitation, Decrepit Birth, Aborted, Rings of Saturn, and Battlecross; some bands I don’t really know are apparently also on the bill, although for what dates I have no idea. Whatever, you were in at Origin and Cattle Decapitation and Decrepit Birth ALONE, right? Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Here are dates, via Battlecross’ Facebook page:

Click to read more…

Hopefully you guys are all familiar with the work of C.C. Banana; born with the (un?)fortunate luck of bearing some resemblance to Poison’s C.C. DeVille and the ability to not get embarrassed wearing a friggin’ banana costume in public, C.C. made his name doing interviews for the great Metal Sludge before striking out on his own. I think I’m also allowed to tell you that, behind the scenes, he had a lot to do with that amazing Whole Lotta Love: An All-Star Tribute to Fat Chicks comp that came out in 2010. After years of enjoying Mr. Banana’s work, I got to meet him when he stopped by our booth at New York Comic Con last year, and I am happy to report that on top of being very funny, he is also a really cool dude.

So it saddens me greatly to hear that C.C. is currently in a bad way: according to SplitScreen Entertainment, who released Whole Lotta Love, C.C.’s family was recently ”struck by severe financial hardship, brought on by the sudden decline of an ailing family member. As a result, he is now on the verge of losing the house he has lived in since birth.”

Consequently, SplitScreen is now auctioning off a ton of cool swag to raise money for C.C., including Whole Lotta Love t-shirts, posters signed by many of the artists who participated in that compilation, and even “a new song parody tailored to your very own specifications” from C.C. himself. You can help C.C. by making purchases here.

I know Love and the music C.C. generally covers isn’t exactly the heaviest stuff out there, but I also know enough of you read what we write about that stuff here on MetalSucks that must care. So please, help out if you can. It’s a great cause.

-AR

Hey, how much of your life have you spent thinking about that time when Bret Michaels got hit in the face with the thingy at the Tony Awards? Probably not very much, because while it was funny as hell, you don’t care about Poison that much in the first place, the Tony Awards mean less to you than the crap you took this morning, and it was also more than two-and-a-half years ago, and a lot has happened in your life since then. Really, until I mentioned it this now, I’d bet you hadn’t thought about Bret Michaels getting hit in his stupid face since maybe 2010, when the vocalist somehow cheated death for the bazillionth time.

Luckily, Bret has decided to remind us all by filing a $50 million lawsuit against the producers of the Tony Awards and CBS, the network that aired the show. The court filing alleges that CBS “could have prevented the footage… from airing via the standard seven-second broadcast delay,” that failing to do so caused Michaels “pain and humiliation,” and that the network didn’t censor it “because the incident could lead to greater publicity and ratings for the show.” This is Michaels’ second suit against the Tonys — the first alleges that the incident was responsible for the subarachnoid brain hemorrhage he suffered in in 2010.

Sooo… yeah, I call bullshit. Here why –

Click to read more…

Every Time I Die must be mind readers! ‘Cause I was just thinking that  we’ve still only heard one official studio version of one song from Every Time I Die’s new album, Ex Lives, and how much I’d like to hear s’more… and now the band has gone and released a second video for a second from the album, “Revival Mode.” So, HOO-RAY! The video and the song are both really cool (and the video is totally fucked-up!), so make sure you check it out:

And hey, guess what else we have? Video of  of the group performing a new song, “Typical Miracle,” at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn last week. So, now you get two tastes of Lives in one day. Not too shabby, eh?

Here’s the “Typical Miracle” footage:

Click to read more…

Anvil’s fifteen minutes was really due solely to the quality of the documentary made about them, and not at all due to their music. Pentagram have already enjoyed a longer shelf life and made superior art (at least in this blogger’s opinion) — but I wouldn’t be surprised if vocalist Bobby Liebling found himself the center of far more Anvil-esque mainstream attention following next month’s release of Last Days Here, a documentary that follows the singer “as he battles decades of hard drug addiction and personal demons to try and get his life back.” The trailer makes the film look absolutely enthralling:

Click to read more…

Congrats to reader David Hillman! He correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Varg, and for his troubles, he wins five CDs from the MetalSucks Mansion Archives. Enjoy ‘em, Davey boy!

But don’t cry if you lost, ’cause this week, I’m unloading another five CDs from MS Mansion Archives. I have some fun stuff lying around, so enter this contest if you wanna take it off my hands.

All you gots to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. ALL ENTRIES WITHOUT AN ADDRESS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select one winner, and announce his or her name next week.

This week’s logo was suggested by the reader known only as “Metal’s Eve.” Thanks, whomever you are!

-AR

If you were worried about what would become of Tommy Vext now that is he is definitely not the new singer for Killswitch Engage, or the dudes from Mutiny Within now that their band has, well, basically imploded, fret not: MW’s respective bassist and drummer, Andrew Jacobs and Bill Fore have now joined Tommy Vext in a new project, called, appropriately enough, Vext. The band also includes guitarist Angel Vivaldi, whose solo work Vince praised last year.

This group has actually been around for a minute now — I don’t know if it was under the “Vext” banner or not, but I do know they were working on demos with a different, equally interesting line-up last year. I guess that version of the group didn’t pan out for whatever reason, but this version has already compelted an EP, which is entitled Impermanence. There’s no release date yet, but for now you can check out the below two-and-half-minute teaser. The music contained therein suggests that the band is going to be leaning towards the more melodic side of things, which should neither surprise nor displease Mutiny Within fans.

-AR

Thanks to Brian for the tip!

Metal Hammer has premiered a new Dragonforce song, “Fallen World,” which you can check out below. I don’t really have anything to say about it — I mean,  technically, this isn’t a new song at all – the band has performing it live since at least October. Besides, it sounds exactly like every other Dragonforce song you’ve ever heard, and new vocalist Mark Hudson has made no discernible change to the band’s vibe. So, you already know if you’re gonna like this or not. Speaking as someone who has neither played Guitar Hero nor done cocaine in some time now, it really doesn’t do much for me, but you shouldn’t let my grumpiness sway you.

Dragonforce’s new album, The Power Within, comes out April 17 on Roadrunner.

-AR

Now that it’s so cheap and easy to make ‘em, releasing in-studio videos is pretty much a de rigeur part of the promotional process for any new album. And so it should surprise no one that both God Forbid, whose new album Equilibrium comes out March 26, and Converge, whose new, untitled album should be out sometime this year, have both released such videos. You can check ‘em out below.

God Forbid’s video is the first in a series, and concentrates on drummer Corey Pierce and his work with producer Mark Lewis. There’s some new music sprinkled throughout, and it sounds HEAVY AS A MOTHERFUCKER. I’m so excited for this album I can’t even tell you.

Click to read more…

Pictured left to right: Dave Mustaine, Rob Zombie, Sheri Moon Zombie

Megadeth and Rob Zombie have announced a co-headlining tour, and besides the fact that both acts are on Roadrunner, that seems to me like a pretty odd match. For one thing, musically, they really don’t have anything in common besides loud guitars. And for another thing, Dave Mustaine and Dave Ellefson are devout Christians now who think people can be healed by the power of prayer (and that gay marriage is wrong — more on that in half an hour), while Zombie presents himself as the very (admittedly very cartoonish) portrait of Evil. I mean, I guess if ‘Deth can tour with Slayer, than touring with a dude whose biggest hit is a song about a vampiric race car is really no big deal. Still, everything about this package seems odd to me. (“That’s what she said.”) I guess the moral of the story is, you’re nothing without your values and beliefs, unless those values and beliefs get in the way of you making money.

ANYWAY, here are dates courtesy of Metal Underground:

Click to read more…

Shadows Fall definitely have a new album coming out; that album may or may not be called The Fire from the Sky, and may or may not be coming out May 8. (Get all the details from Metal Insider — I’m too lazy to paraphrase.) In any case, the band has started playing new material live, including what may or may not be the title track from their new album. Which means, of course, that footage of them playing this song is now available for you to stream below.

And I think it sounds great! Vocalist Brian Fair introduces the tune as “a nice, slow death metal tune,” and that’s an accurate description. I wonder if there will be faster songs on the album, too, or if this is going to be Shadows Fall’s The Infection?

We’ll get you more official details on the title, release date, etc. of the new Shadows Fall album as soon as they’re released.

-AR

The Black Dahlia Murder have re-teamed with director David Brodsky to make a video for their song “Moonlight Equilibrium,” and not only is it well-made and entertaining as hell, but it’s actually — gasp! – thematically relevant to the lyrics of the song.

“Equilibrium” may very well literally be about a werewolf (“The wolf varacious hath witnessed its mark,” vocalist Trevor Strnad howls), but like all great werewolf stories, what it’s really dealing with is Man’s internal struggle between his animal instinct (or maybe even his id) and societal norms. To that end, the video a) is set during the Victorian era, when one’s perception in society was as important as it has ever been during the course of human history, b) features some of those Victorian folk behaving in some very naughty behavior that I’m sure their community would have frowned upon, and c) also features an actual werewolf, because this is heavy metal after all.

Why can’t all directors put this much thought into their work? I guess it’s just easier to next to nothing and hope no one notices, right?

“Moonlight Equilibrium” appears on The Black Dahlia Murder’s Ritual, which is out now on Metal Blade.

-AR

[the clip debuted on Bloody Disgusting, but the embed is courtesy of Metal Injection]

Continuing the trend of announcing Metal Blade bands produced by Erik Rutan, Sumerian bands that are on Sumerian, and bands that everyone already knew were on the tour,  Goatwhore and Veil of Maya have both been added to Summer Slaughter. Goatwhore were officially announced via the festival’s Facebook page; VoM haven’t been yet, but Lambgoat says that when their new album, Eclipse, is released next week, it will be adorned with a sticker announcing the band’s participation. I guess the label thought that wouldn’t be letting the cat out of the bag too early, since no one purchases CDs anymore, and in theory, at least, that meant that no one would see the sticker. But someone did, so there ya go.

Aaaannnndddd… Holy crap, am I really gonna have to keep writing about this tour after every weekend? It’s a great line-up and I’m very excited to go see the show, but I am shit out of things to say about it already. Do you think if I stop writing about the tour, Vince will do it instead, or do you think MetalSucks readers will just have to learn about it elsewhere? I mean I could probably just ask Vince instead of rambling on about it in this public blog piece, but it’s too late, I’ve typed it now and there’s no going back.

Here’s a picture of an actual goat whore that I made because I was bored/horny:

Click to read more…

Thanks to Justin Norton for this video!

Yo! Have you guys signed up for our new e-mail list yet? If not, you can, and should, do so above. You’ll get occasional updates from the MS Mansion with breaking stories, special features, exclusive premieres, etc., delivered right to your inbox. Don’t worry, we won’t spam you — expect a newsletter-type of situation with updates once a week at most. And don’t forget to friend us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to stay up-to-the-minute on all the latest suckage.

With that shameless plug out of the way, let’s look at some of the things we did this week, shall we?

• We spoke to Tosin Abasi and debuted a snippet of a new T.R.A.M. song. We also spoke to Martin van Drunen from Asphyx and Hail of Bullets.
• We also debuted new music from Look Right Penny and, thanks to Decibel, Municipal Waste.
• We checked out new releases from Chimp Spanner, The Devastated, Suicidal Angels,  and Sucked Dry.
• We got a reaction to Whitney Houston’s death from both Agnostic Front and Bathory fans.
• We pondered the relevance of Meshuggah in 2012.
• We discovered a new Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe: Capture the Crown.
• We learned that Dave Mustaine endorsed Rick Santorum for President.
• We learned about a new genre: formulaicore.
• We were excited to learn that Iron Maiden are touring again.
• We were less excited to learn that slamming guttural hip-hop is as shitty as it sounds.

We’re keeping the MetalSucks Mansion shuttered on Monday for the American holiday of President’s Day, but we’re gonna make it up to you with a track premiere each and every day, plus the usual dose of other cool shit. See ya then!

-AR

I’m going to put about much effort into this introduction as Emmure put into the lyrics of “Drug Dealer Friend.”

We begin today with In Defence’s new clip, for the song “Black Metal Mania.” This is probably the second-best video I’ve seen this week, following Helms Alee’s instant classic of a vid, “8/16.” There’s really only one gag being endlessly repeated in the “Black Metal Mania” clip, but metal fans should enjoy that gag greatly. Check it out:

Click to read more…

Bill Ward has released a new message regarding the fact that he won’t be participating in the upcoming Black Sabbath reunion due to a failure to come to agreeable contractual terms with the rest of the band. The message follows in full:

Click to read more…

Just yesterday, our buds at Decibel let us stream “Religion Proof,” a new song Municipal Waste recorded, but will not use for, their new album, The Fatal Feast (you’ll be able to own it as a Decibel flexi disc — limited quantities available here). Now the band has unveiled the first official, actually-gonna-be-on-the-record tune from Feast  – the title track is now streaming at Brooklyn Vegan.

The song is, by Municipal Waste standards at least, kind of the slow side — but it’s so catchy I really do care. I’m also elated that “Waste in Space” is, it seems, going to be both an aural and lyrical theme of the album, and not just something funny they did for the awesome cover art (above you idiot).

Headbang here, then let us know what you think in the comments section. The Fatal Feast comes out April 10 via Nuclear Blast.

-AR

An anonymous reader sent us the below, self-explanatory image; it’s allegedly real. (The teacher’s confusion about the answer is the funniest part.) And whomever this Fernando Diaz González fellow is, I guess I gotta give him props. I was a really lousy science student, but when I didn’t know the answer to a question on a test, I never thought “Fuck it, let’s just have fun with it” like this. Nice work, Señor González!

-AR