The Vans Warped Tour blows. At least that was my close-minded opinion of the traveling pop punk summer music circus that is still chugging along after nearly 20 long years of existence. Of course, I’ve never been to a single WT concert, so I’m just being a dick.

However, after watching the new documentary, No Room For Rockstars, I think I may have to actually check out WT this summer for the first time. That’s high praise coming from me, as I seldom go to live shows these days.

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Sorry for the delay. SXSW. Does it every year. A week-and-a-half of horror films, parties, BBQ, interviews, and heavy metal concerts kicks my ass every time. I need another week just to get my bearings straight afterwards. Hell, I even moderated a panel with Clown from Slipknot and Mike IX from Eyehategod where we showed pictures of decapitated naked men and dead deer. And we went on AFTER Bruce Springsteen!

As a result, I have just now caught up on my February metal listening and, man, all I can say is what a perfectly shitty month. Don’t get me wrong, the Bleeders I’ve chosen are all solid efforts. It’s just the rest of them, and there were a fuck-ton of ‘em (maybe 160 releases???), were astoundingly crappy. More Blowers than ever.

As usual, there will be bands on my Meh’ers and Blowers lists that you guys may like. I could care less if you think I’m an idiot for not liking them. I’d rather hear why you think those bands deserved to be ranked higher. Be an advocate, not an asshole.

I’m grateful that March is already looking way better with excellent releases from Meshuggah, Primitive Weapons, Every Time I Die, Ministry, Black Sheep Wall, and more.

Here are the February 2012 releases that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

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The first time I met Al Jourgensen was under rather suspect conditions nearly twenty years ago. I had spent the day drinking margaritas with his fellow Revolting Cocks members Paul Barker, Trent Reznor, and their sound man Critter, and swimming in the godforsaken icy cold water of Barton Springs in Austin, Texas. Revco was on a national tour supporting their latest release Beers, Steers, & Queers and this particular stop in Austin would prove to be a pivotal date in the band’s (and Jourgensen and Barker’s other band, Ministry) career.

Barker and Reznor dragged me up to Jourgensen’s hotel room near Lake Austin, in the heart of the city, to extend the party. We walked into Jougensen’s room to find the man splayed out on his hotel room bed with a huge baggie filled with mushrooms. The psilocybin kind, not the Whole Foods Market kind.

Al looked up at me, grinned, and simply asked, “Want some?”

Ever the nerd, I begged off, citing a Criminology final exam the following morning (truth) that I needed to study for before the Revco concert. Jourgensen laughed and said, “Cool. More for me,” and that was it.

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MetalSucks recently polled its staff to determine The Top 25 Modern Metal Drummers, and after an incredible amount of arguing, name calling, and physical violence, we have finalized that list! The only requirements to be eligible for the list were that the musician in question had to a) play metal (duh), b) play drums (double-duh), and c) have recorded something in the past five years. Today we continue our countdown with Absu’s Proscriptor McGovern…

It’s ludicrous that a musician with the undeniable skills and tireless work ethic of Russley Randell Givens, AKA Sir Proscriptor McGovern, is not a mega-superstar in the genre. Maybe it’s his chosen musical path (mainly black metal); maybe it’s the revolving door existence of his main band, Absu; or maybe it’s an unfortunate accident that damaged his hands and required surgery that has kept this insanely ridiculous skin-basher off the lips of the average metalhead. Who knows? All I know is that this is a serious oversight that needs to be rectified ASAP.

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I’m looking for some help from our loyal readers. I am moderating a panel entitled SEEING RED: AESTHETICS AND VISUALS OF METAL this Thursday, March 15 at 2:45pm for the SXSW Music Festival. I will be discussing metal artwork from album covers to stage sets to merchandising designs with M. Shawn Crahan (“Clown”) of Slipknot, Mike IX Williams of Eyehategod and Arson Anthem, and Relapse Records in-house designer Orion Landau.

I am, however, also going to briefly talk about iconic heavy metal artwork and will be showing slides of said artwork during the panel. What I would like from you guys is to provide me with a list of your favorite, least favorite, stupidest, grossest, lamest, most kick ass, most pathetic, most ridiculous, most exemplary metal album artwork you can find. Post your answers here, preferably with a photo attached and a brief description of why you think it’s the best/worst. I intend to use some of your submissions in the presentation and will gladly give you a shout out for your contribution.

Thanks, MetalSucks readers. Y’all kick much ass!!

-CM

Corey Mitchell is a best-selling author of several true crime books and is currently helping Philip H. Anselmo write his autobiography. Join Corey at Facebook, Twitter, and Google+. 

MetalSucks recently polled its staff to determine who are The Top 25 Modern Metal Drummers, and after an incredible amount of arguing, name calling, and physical violence, we have finalized that list! The only requirements to be eligible for the list were that the musician in question had to a) play metal (duh), b) play drums (double-duh), and c) have recorded something in the past five years. Today we continue our countdown with Between the Buried and Me’s Blake Richardson…

Writing about drumming is like trying to wipe your ass with casts on your hands — it requires a certain amount of impossible dexterity, is bound to get messy, and usually leaves a bad smell upon completion. I mean, really, what is there to say about drummers, period, if they ain’t Neil Peart? “Hey, he keeps a steady rhythm, he didn’t fall over his drum kit in a drunken stupor, and how awesome is it that he’s not the dumbest person in the band.” Anything beyond that just sounds like journalistic uber-masturbation.

Unless, unless… that drummer is one Cartland Blake Richardson from the mighty prog-death-kitchen sinkers Between The Buried and Me.

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I’ve seen Hellion. I love it.

If you enjoyed the portrayal of messed up kids (or adults who refuse to grow up) in films such as River’s Edge, Bully, Alpha Dog, or Boys Don’t Cry, then you will appreciate this six-minute marvel of metallic and familial mayhem.

Hellion was directed by University of Texas film lecturer Kat Candler. She writes and directs films. Real films. Feature-length, majorly distributed films. And short films that get accepted to Sundance. She teaches other aspiring filmmakers how to make films. She organizes groups to help women in cinema. In other words, Kat Candler is a living, breathing guru of the silver screen. Her skills are readily apparent in Hellion.

I don’t want to give away much about the short film, so I encourage you to catch it at this year’s SXSW Film Festival as part of the Texas Short Competition.

I contacted Kat yesterday and asked her via e-mail about Hellion, heavy metal, and why’s she so darn nice?

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The year’s edition of the SXSW Film Festival is not quite as metal friendly as last year’s version. Of course, it’s hard to top a Pentagram documentary, a Fishbone documentary, Fubar II: Balls To The Wall, and Hesher. That doesn’t mean, however, that this year’s fest won’t have a few somethings that will appeal to the metalheads out there.

Take a look at what’s screening this year. Synopses provided by SXSW. Notes provided by me.

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The SXSW Day Party, once frowned upon by event organizers, is now an expected addition to the annual music extravaganza. It provides bands more opportunities to be seen during the music conference and it also gives the regular music fan (the ones who don’t want to plunk down $750+ for a badge) the opportunity to catch showcasing bands whom they would not have been able to see otherwise.

Below you will find an exhaustively thorough (yet still incomplete) list of the majority of day parties and/or one-offs that involve hard rock, punk rock, avant garde, experimental, and/or heavy metal bands/musicians that are expected to appear in Austin, Texas between March 9 and March 18.

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Just three days ago, I posted the first master list of all the metal-friendly acts that will be heading to SXSW in Austin, Texas in just over a week. I also mentioned that the line-ups will change numerous times between then and the end of the conference. On cue, we have a whole new batch of metal/hardcore/metallish bands added to the massive line-up.

If you plan on attending the conference, please refer to my constantly updated SXSW 2012 Metal list here.

You can also find all of the SXSW 2012 Metal Panels info here.

Here are some of the recent highlights, time and/or venue changes, special appearances, second shows added, etc:

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One of the coolest aspects of attending a music (and film and interactive) conference like SXSW is that if you score a badge, you can listen to some incredible professionals discussing their craft. Hopefully, they will inspire you to get off your ass and create that song you always wanted to write, pen that book you’ve meant to finish, or paint that album cover you always knew you had inside you.

In 2011, I create and moderated a panel for the SXSW Film Festival called REEL MURDER which featured former Pantera lead singer and Manson Family composer Philip Anselmo. It was a blast, but a ton of hard work to put it all together. This year, I was looking forward to only having to cover horror films at SXSW for Bloody Disgusting and metal for this here fine publication.

That is, until I got a phone call last week from loyal MetalSucks reader Bobby Nall who just so happened to have landed a gig with SXSW coordinating panels. He asked if I would be interested in moderating a panel about artwork in heavy metal. I, of course, jumped at the chance.

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The music lover’s March Madness is descending upon Austin, Texas in less than two weeks. That’s right: the 26th annual SXSW Music and Film Conference takes over Central Texas for nine days of beer, BBQ, and bands. With more than 1,100 official showcase bands, more than 200 films, untold numbers of tacos, and a fuck-ton of killer metal shows, the 2012 version is shaping up to be a great year for fans of the darker side of entertainment. Maybe it has something to do with those damned Mayans….

As I do every year, I am providing my fellow intrepid metalheads with the ultimate guide for all of your metallic needs at SXSW. The official showcases, the metal panels, the metal day parties, and even the headbangin’ cinema. It’ll all be here over the next couple of days and updated right before the festival kicks off on March 9. I will provide links to each official SXSW segment (showcases, panels, films) that will be constantly updated, as bands are known to be dropped and/or added at the last moment, so keep checking back in with this post.

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Holy crap, is 2012 off to a great start or what? After my first run-through, I had 35 albums that could have been potential Bleeders, but whittled them down to a mere thirteen. The diversity on display is also promising as there are solid releases from familiar names (Aborted, Farsot) and new faces (Acheode, Desecravity), and that are spread across multiple sub-genres as well.

As usual, there will be bands on my Meh’ers and Blowers lists that you guys may like. I could care less if you think I’m an idiot for not liking them. I’d rather hear why you think those bands deserved to be ranked higher. Be an advocate, not an asshole.

I hope February is as half as good as January.

Here are the January 2012 releases that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

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Anxiety, the debut release from Italian experimental death metal band Acheode, recently caught my attention while listening to a ton of January releases for my next Bleeders’ Digest column. Not only can they get all tweedly-dee on your asses, but they also know how to write killer songs with actual grooves.

So, I decided to investigate further. Not only are they good songwriters, but after watching their video for the track “Parasitic Gangrene,” I can safely say (with great pleasure) that they are some seriously twisted fucks.

I won’t ruin the debauchery on screen too much, but just know that some of the joyous shots in this vid include a pedo van, gnomes, an Alan Cummings look-alike, multiple acts of misogyny, handicap abuse, tinkle, vomit, cocaine, gin, non-synchronized headbanging, Devil Goats, toilet love, and a dude in a crane.

I fucking love this band!!

Spotify this shit.

-CM

Corey Mitchell is a best-selling author of several true crime books and is currently helping Philip H. Anselmo write his autobiography.

Join Corey at Facebook and Twitter. Oh yeah, circle me at Google+, yet another fucking social network….

I am a goofy stats and numbers geek and have been ever since I was a kid, starting when I created my own NFL board game using an NFL Strategy football field and hundreds of 1974 Topps Football cards with plays printed on the back.

Yesterday, I was reading the comments in the compilation of our Year End Top 15 lists and stumbled across “You”‘s request that someone should tabulate and collate our lists. This, of course, appealed to the stat geek in me.

In addition, another reader named “Agschwarzer” created the internet meme you see up top.

So, I was curious. What did the writers at MetalSucks like the most in 2011 and, more importantly, did we completely ignore Mastodon?

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Phew! Hopefully, you’ve been reading my Bleeders’ Digests this year to get an idea of what I consider to be the best releases in what has truly been a stellar year for metal. I started this insane venture back in January and have listened to, front to back, 723 metal releases this year!

Since we had an earlier than usual deadline this year to submit our final Top 15 (and because I have a book deadline in December), I’ve only made it through half of the month of October. I did sneak in a few key November releases as well such as the new Animals As Leaders, Megadeth, Vektor, and Cynic. For those of you that read the Bleeders, don’t worry, I’ll catch up on the October, November, and December releases in the new year.

What an amazing year for heavy metal. While I somehow managed to whittle my list down to a Top 15, do yourself a favor and check out my previous Bleeders Digests (links at bottom) for a year’s worth of killer tunes. This is but the top 10% of what I found to be excellent. Most of the reviews here are from my earlier Bleeders columns and the updated notes are from my mid-year top albums list. There are a couple of new reviews in the mix as well.

My Top 15 contains a little bit of everything: thrash, crust, instrumetal, black metal, stoner, doom, punk, grindcore, death metal, hardcore, blackened this and that, and more.

Yes, there is a noticeable lack of Djent, wank, and Ghost. Deal with it.

For the rest of you, enjoy!

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I recently posted this message on my Facebook page, but most of my followers there are of the true crime persuasion. I’d love to hear from you Metal Suckahs as y’all are the ones any books about metalheads are going to be geared towards.

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Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I said I’d be in my cave finishing up my newest true crime book, TEACH ME TO KILL, but I already need a brain break.

As many of you know, I am branching out of true crime (don’t worry, I will always write TC books!) and into music autobiographies. My first book I will be helping out with is the autobiography of former Pantera lead singer/current DOWN singer Philip H. Anselmo and his incredible story.

I’m looking at the long-term picture here and hope to continue writing books about (and hopefully with) some of my favorite musical artists in the worlds of rock, rap, and heavy metal.

Please feel free to vote for one or more of the following artists whom you’d like to see me write a book alongside. Also, please add any artists I might have missed that you think I could do a good job with his or her book.

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At this past weekend’s FunFunFunFest in Austin, Texas, a heavy metal behemoth slayed all comers as far as garnering the positive headlines. No, I’m not talking about thrash legends Slayer, who closed out the fest with a brilliant set (review forthcoming) that made their Big 4 NY appearance look tame by comparison. I’m definitely not talking about The Artist Formerly Known As Mr. Kitty Litter AKA The Artist Now Known For French Onion Soup and A Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich AKA Mr. Glenn Danzig (see recap of his divantics™ here). Nope, I’m talking about Mr. Hollywood Hunk his own bad self, Mr. Ryan Gosling.

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Last year (and the year before) I got way too busy with this thing called life and missed out on a lot of quality music. I am here to rectify the error of my ways, month by month.

Sorry for the delay. Been extra busy writing books, covering film festivals for Bloody Disgusting, and watching zee American football (Go Steelers!). Also, my listening tally (165 releases for September alone!!) practically quadrupled with the introduction of Spotify into my home.

I won’t have another Bleeders’ list until December as I am fast approaching a deadline on my next true crime book, Teach Me To Kill. I will, however, be contributing my Top 15 picks of the year before I resume the Bleeders’ lists.

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Last year (and the year before) I got way too busy with this thing called life and missed out on a lot of quality music. I am here to rectify the error of my ways, month by month.

Sorry for the delay. Been extra busy writing books, covering film festivals for Bloody Disgusting, and watching zee American football. Also, my listening tally practically doubled with the introduction of Spotify in my home.

Here are the August 2011 releases that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

Click to read more…