Author Archive


KROHM ARE SUICIDAL IN SEATTLE

Thursday, June 9th, 2011 at 3:00pm by

Depressive black metal is a definite hit-or-miss of a subgenre. When it’s good, it’s bone-chillingly great. When it’s bad (and a LOT of it is bad), it’s just embarrassing. Remember when Xasthur used to be cool, before Malefic started collaborating with Pitchfork-approved songstresses and ultimately threw in the towel? Yeah, me neither (what happened after Defective Epitaph, bro?).  Alas, Shining have jumped the shark entirely, Make A Change… Kill Yourself haven’t put out a record in four years, Bethlehem spat all over their once-shining legacy with that rerecorded abomination (Kvarforth really just needs to disappear), I haven’t heard a peep from Nortt in ages, and it seems like Leviathan’s on ice while Wrest sorts out his legal woes. What’s a suicidal black metal fanatic to do? After all, someone’s got to chase away all this sunshine, and as depressing as the new Morbid Angel album is, those world-destroying techno beats just ain’t gonna cut it.

At least we’ll always have Krohm.

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NECROLUST: NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND

Friday, May 20th, 2011 at 2:00pm by

I’m working on something that’s going to bum out a LOT of people on here, and need to give it my full attention, so in the meantime, here’s some news from the void.

Music Ruins Lives will be reissuing the debut release from Ohioan blackened doom masters Vit. The album, -, will come in a six-panel digipack with completely new artwork, and you really need to buy it because this band is amazing beyond words. Seriously.

Petrychor have recorded a new album! Their 2010 Dryad EP was one of my favorite records of the year and was apparently crafted as one singular piece, broken up into movements and interludes. Gorgeous melodies, ethereal vocals, and studiously conceived concepts add an air of gravitas to the piece; the project’s bloody roots are plainly visible, and the interplay between gentle acoustic parts and raw, atmospheric black metal is nothing short of flawless. The album is available for free download on Bandcamp – but it’s definitely worth going for the pay-what-you-want option and throwing them a few bones.

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NECROLUST: TWO COUNTRIES, ONE WEEK, FOUR SHOWS

Monday, May 2nd, 2011 at 1:30pm by

I go to a lot of shows. Like, a LOT — hundreds a year, thanks to my propensity for touring for months on end, traveling to festivals, and just going to gigs at home or elsewhere. I get burnt out sometimes, but invariably I find myself down front (or at least by the bar) several times a week. These past few days were a bit more ridiculous than usual, given that I was bouncing from the Netherlands to the UK to Ireland within the space of a week. I still managed to catch some amazing performances, though, several of whom that once again reaffirmed my firmly-held conviction that live music is the lifesblood of the metal scene.

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NECROLUST: GRIM KIM GIVES YOU ROADBURN 2011

Thursday, April 21st, 2011 at 2:40pm by

Hey dudes and ladies, sorry I haven’t been posting much this month. I’ve been travelingeven more than usual, and haven’t had much time to sit down and write down much of anything besides flight confirmation numbers and directions to wherever I happen to be sleeping any given evening. Cheers once again to those of you who went out and soaked up the riff-tastic metal circus that was Metalliance (especially those wonderful souls who came up to hang out or bought me a drink!), and mad love to everyone who survived that tour, especially the eternal road dogs in The Atlas Moth and Howl and my tour family on the Saint Vitus/Crowbar bus.

As soon as that madness ended, I flew over to Ireland to stay with my boyfriend J. for a couple days and get ready for my next adventure: reprising my now-yearly pilgrimage to the mighty Roadburn festival in Tilburg, Netherlands. He and I met there last year (he was playing, I was covering, the rest is history) so it was due to be special for more than the usual reasons, which are pretty fucking good reasons in and of themselves!

Roadburn is the best heavy music festival in the world, hands down. A bold statement, sure, but anyone who’s ever played, worked, or attended the event will agree with me. Yeah, the lineups are always amazing, and yes, the venues – the 013, which is separated into the Main Room, Green Room, and Bat Cave, and the Midi Theatre — are killer. The separate building for merchandise, vinyl distros, and movie screenings doesn’t hurt, nor does the charming ambiance of Tilburg itself.

The real heart and soul of this festival comes from outside, though; from the big-hearted organizers Walter and Jurgen, from the efforts of Roadburn public relations guru Yvonne (without whom the whole damn thing would have fallen apart), and from the thousands of fans and bands that have come together, united by an overwhelming sense of community and goodwill. Everyone at Roadburn is absolutely 100% thrilled to be exactly where they are. There is a reason that this year’s edition sold out – sold OUT – in fifteen minutes, and it’s not just because Swans, Godflesh, Winter, and Sunn 0))) were playing (though that can’t have hurt, either). I made it to my first Roadburn in 2009, and have made it a point to come backevery year since – I’ve heard the same pledge from a lot of first-timers, and I know a few people that are already saving pennies for next year!

This year’s lineup was insane (as always). To give you an idea, I wanted to be sure to catch Alcest, Year of No Light, Acid King, Winterfylleth, Zoroaster, Wovenhand, Naam, Blood Ceremony, Pentagram, Today is the Day, Cough, Godflesh, In Solitude, Wardruna, Soilent Green, Count Raven, Earth, Place of Skulls, Winter, Trap Them, Sabbath Assembly, Summon the Crows, Corrosion of Conformity, Menace Ruine, Sunn 0))), Hooded Menace, Grave Miasma, Scorn, Candlemass (performing Epicus Doomicus Metallicus in its entirety!), Black Math Horseman, Master Musicians of Bukkake, Weedeater, Rwake, Ludicra, Evoken, Ramesses, Shrinebuilder, Yakuza, The Gates of Slumber, Swans, Ufomammut, Blood Farmers, Coffins, Dead Meadow, and Sourvein … and that’s just me. There were plenty of other bands that I either had seen many times, was unfamiliar with, or just didn’t want to see (which is rare at Roadburn, but there’s a first time for everything).

Of course, since it’s a massive festival full of people from all over the world, a lot of whom I love dearly, I managed to miss tons of bands, but I’m okay with it. I’ll see most of them again, and Roadburn isn’t totally about the music. It’s about the experience, man.

Here are a few highlights from this year; third time’s the charm!

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NECROLUST: NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND

Friday, April 1st, 2011 at 3:00pm by

I’m on tour with Saint Vitus right now and haven’t had a lot of time either listen to any new/old music or to think up something suitable to rant about/gush over, so for this entry I’m just going to do a quick news roundup of shit I (and a handful of you) might care about.

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RITES OF DARKNESS III LINEUP ANNOUNCED, KIM’S PANTIES DROP

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011 at 4:30pm by

We North American metallers are used to getting boned when it comes to metal festivals. Yeah, we’ve got a handful of great fests, but the events are almost always pretty small and localized (barring the mighty Maryland Death Fest, which routinely attracts diehards from all over the world). The North American idea of a “metal fest” has, on a mainstream level at least, devolved into lumbering advertisements for metalcore albums and hoary old dinosaurs’ reunion tours. Wacken has rapidly become something similar, but this year’s edition still has Morbid Angel, Sodom, and Tsjuder on the bill. What do we get? Vince and Axl will scold me if I name any names, but there are a staggering array of shitty mega-shows coming up this summer – and they sure as hell won’t be booking Mayhem. We don’t have a Wacken, a Hellfest, a Roadburn; hell, we can barely manage one killer large-scale multi-day fest a year, but as always, the devil’s in the details, and what we lack in quantity, we’re rapidly starting to atone for in quality.

Case in point: this year’s Rites of Darkness III fest. Past years have welcomed the likes of Impiety, Diocletian, Blasphemophagher Cruciamentum, and Morbosidad to our cursed shores, and this year’s lineup is shaping up to be an absolute massacre of a weekend.

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EXCLUSIVE METALSUCKS INTERVIEW: BURZUM’S VARG VIKERNES

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011 at 5:00pm by

Varg Vikernes - Burzum

When word spread that Burzum only-man Varg Vikernes was doing a limited number of interviews — via email only — to support his latest work Fallen (out on March 7th), we knew we couldn’t pass up the opportunity. “Grim” Kim Kelly took charge and put together a batch of thoughtful questions about Burzum’s legacy, the lyrical and musical themes of Fallen, the current black metal scene, Varg’s relationship with classical music and more. Vikernes’ answers are, well… you’ll have to read them to find out.

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EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ THE TOXIC WALTZ: MUSING UPON METAL’S NUCLEAR FIXATION

Friday, February 25th, 2011 at 3:30pm by

Ever since the dawn of the nuclear age, mankind has been fascinated with The Bomb and its terrifying capabilities. Even before The Manhattan Project bore fruit, countless nuke-themed songs, movies, books, and of course, good ol’ propaganda flooded the American consciousness and captivated our over-reactive imaginations. Some truly masterful books (Level 7, Alas, Babylon, A Canticle for Liebowitz) and truly abominable pulp fiction novels were written, the government cheerfully advised its citizens to build bomb shelters out back and stockpile creamed corn “just in case!” (better an oblivious populace then a nation of protestors, right?), and Bert the talking turtle advised kiddies on the best way to protect themselves during an atomic blast (hide under your desk and cover your head, and everything will be swell!).

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NECROLUST: WARNING ARE REBORN AS 40 WATT SUN, AND NEGATIVE PLANE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT AMERICAN BLACK METAL

Friday, February 18th, 2011 at 4:00pm by

Hey dudes and ladies, here are a couple bands I’ve been listening to damn near nonstop over the past week or so – traditional English doom lords 40 Watt Sun, and iconoclastic black metallers Negative Plane. They are both highly respected and well-loved within their respective corners of the underground, and each have sweet new records either available or forthcoming. Start saving your lunch money and buy ‘em on vinyl, nerds!

I’ve also been listening to a shit ton of Nuclear Desecration, Steve Von Till, Abaddon Incarnate, Pallbearer, Razor of Occam, and Drowned lately. Fight me about those, too.

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THE STEELERS ARE MORE METAL THAN YOU THOUGHT

Thursday, January 27th, 2011 at 3:00pm by

Disclaimer: I do not care about football at all. I only know when the Superbowl is because my birthday lands right around that time and I remember hearing stories of how my dad had to be dragged away from the TV in the hospital waiting room to witness my glorious exit from my mother’s womb. And while I’ve played sports my entire life, I regard televised games with roughly the same amount of interest I devote to a Suicide Silence press release.

However, I DO care about Midnight, and Midnight apparently care a lot about the Pittsburgh Steelers. They care enough to re-record one of their best-loved metalpunk anthems, “Black Rock’n’Roll,” to reflect that love. Ladies and gentleman, I give you “Black and the Gold”:

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NECROLUST: GRAVE MIASMA SPEARHEAD A NEW ERA IN BRITISH HEAVY METAL, AND OMINOUS BLACK ARE EQUAL PARTS DELICATE AND CRUSHING

Monday, January 24th, 2011 at 4:45pm by

Hey dudes and ladies! After a couple years of sporadic appearances, drunken conversations with various MS staff members, and a lot of babbling about black metal, I’ve finally settled in to do a proper column for this joint. Vince and Axl have given me free reign to write about pretty much whatever I want, poor bastards.

My main drugs of choice are fucked-up black metal, filthy sludge, hopeless doom, occult death metal, and virulent grind/crust/d-beat, with the odd exception here and there, so expect to see a bit more ugly, primitive, hateful music lurking around on MetalSucks from here on out.

Here are a two bands I’ve been digging a LOT lately. If you’re unfamiliar with them, check ‘em out. If you already know and love them, we’ll probably get along great.

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ALBUMS THAT WILL FUCK YOUR FACE OFF IN 2011: NECROS CHRISTOS, DOOM OF THE OCCULT

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011 at 12:00pm by

Necros Christos
Doom of the Occult
Label – Ván, Sepulchral Voice, The Ajna Offensive
Release date – Early 2011

Discovering that there will be a new full-length from Necros Christos in 2011 was one of the best Christmas presents I got this year. While, given my Catholic grandmother’s penchant for gifting me gaudy earrings and gold crucifix necklaces, that isn’t exactly saying much, trust me, it’s a big fucking deal.

Those who are familiar with the Necros Christos cult should be creaming themselves about now. Those who aren’t should remedy that real fucking quick, because this German quartet are due to release the heaviest album of 2011. This is not mere death metal. It sure as hell isn’t overly technical, or overly melodic, and whatever “djent” is, this ain’t it. This is occult metal ov death, and fans of Incantation, Mortuary Drape, Cruciamentum, Hooded Menace, Archgoat, Portal, Black Witchery, Mystifier, Order From Chaos, and all things dark and hateful should take note.

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“GRIM KIM” KELLY’S TOP FIFTEEN METAL ALBUMS OF 2010

Thursday, December 16th, 2010 at 11:00am by

I’m only an occasional contributor to this fine website, but when Vince sounded the call for year-end lists, I couldn’t resist chiming in with my two (extremely opinionated) cents. It’s pretty apparent what kind of tunes I’ve been digging this year – decrepit death metal, orthodox black metal, miserable doom, and the prettier side of grimness. The list that follows is probably a little more weighted towards the obscure and/or extreme than a lot of the other lists I’ve come across so far, but fuck it – those are the kinds of albums that keep extreme metal interesting, dangerous, and, at their best, honest. Those are qualities that, in my not-so-humble opinion, a vast amount of modern metal seems to lack. Give the bands below a shot, and if you like what they’re doing, dig deeper; check out their back catalogues and influences and contemporaries and ideas. If not, go buy the new Veil of Maya or something – no skin off my back either way, though I do hope I open a few eyes with this’n.

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AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED’S J. RANDALL “VAPORIZES THE MUSIC INDUSTRY”

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010 at 5:00pm by

Nowadays, fucking everyone is on Twitter — the President, Snooki, Napalm Death, Lady Gaga, and pretty much every famous/infamous/inconsequential figure imaginable is out there constantly micro-blogging away. One entity I never expected to stumble across on there was Agoraphobic Nosebleed vocalist/lyricist/mindfucker J. Randall, but lo and behold — he is indeed a tweeter. An offhand remark about his desire to do a few interviews about recent happenings in Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s world caught my eye, and I couldn’t help it: I took the bait.

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METAL ETIQUETTE: A LADIES’ GUIDE TO CONCERT-GOING

Monday, October 18th, 2010 at 4:00pm by

Photo of a real live female in a real live pit courtesy Justina Villanueva. Hey, Justina is a woman, too!

One of the most enjoyable parts of being a metalhead, in my opinion at least, is being able to catch my favorite bands live. The concert experience – whether it’s taking place at an arena, a bar, or a basement – is an integral part of our culture, and that fact alone is one of the few things keeping this industry alive (financially, at least; metal itself is forever. Duh). Now, as many of you may have noticed (and lamented), there is a distinct lack of estrogen floating around amidst those churning seas of testosterone we call metal shows. I’ve been to many, many, MANY metal shows, and am always invariably one of the few (if not the only) women there. It depends on the genre, of course; you’re probably not going to find nearly as much eye candy down front at Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult or Cannabis Corpse as you’ll stumble across at a stoner rock show or see at, I don’t know… Lacuna Coil or As I Lay Dying. The safer (and lamer) the band, the more chicks you’ll find lining up to buy a ticket. Why? I wish I could share the secret with you dudes, but honestly, I don’t get it either. Why a fly-ass honey wouldn’t want to squeeze into a dark room packed with sweaty, hairy men and blow out her eardrums in the name of Satan is beyond me, but I’m not going to delve into the why-don’t-girls-like-metal debate today – it’s been done. Instead, let’s just be stoked that girls are coming to shows at all, in ever-increasing numbers no less.

I’ve come up with a handy little survival guide of sorts for both my sisters-in-arms, as well as ladies who’ve never been to a metal show before, but are curious about what goes on and might be interested in popping their concertgoing cherries. A lot of this stuff is pure common sense, but I’ve also picked up a trick or two over the years that just might make your night a helluva lot better, and may get you to bring some girlfriends out to the next one!

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EXCLUSIVE SALOME TOUR DIARY FROM “GRIM” KIM KELLY, DAY 4: THE FINAL DAY! WITH EXCLUSIVE TOUR VIDEO AND PICS!!!

Thursday, March 25th, 2010 at 4:00pm by

“With Hell for a Mouth,” live in Raleigh, NC

Virginia doom crew Salome have been busting eardrums and making waves across the Eastern half of the US on their latest tour, with stops at NYU (with Shrinebuilder/Wolves in the Throne Room) and at the SXSW madhouse, where they decimated showcases from Profound Lore/20 Buck Spin and BrooklynVegan alongside Coffinworm, Yakuza, The Atlas Moth, Zoroaster, Landmine Marathon, and tons more. The next leg of the tour is taking them through the Dirty South, and they’ve brought their buddy “Grim” Kim Kelly along for the ride to sling merch and document the whole thing, Almost Famous-style. You can read the first day’s report here, the second day’s report here, and the third day’s report here… and now we come to the bittersweet end…

Well, holy shit, Raleigh. Tonight was absurd, in about a million and a half different ways. We got to Slim’s and loaded in, then settled in for a longer than anticipated wait. The opening band, Gringo, kept pushing the start time back from 10, to 10:30, to 11pm; they finally hopped onstage at about 11:15.  During the interim I sold a few record, took a walk about the block, and, alongside Kat , Rob and Aaron, made the acquaintance of  a fellow named John. John was very drunk, and very talkative. During the space of a few minutes, we learned that not only was John an Iraq war veteran, he’d been blown up three times, sustained skull fractures and brain damage, smoked weed “to keep from killing himself,” and, just that morning, had been acquitted of a handful of drug charges (misdemeanors/felonies) “because,” he said as he tapped on his Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran baseball cap, “of this.” God bless America, I s’pose. He stuck around for a couple more hours, arguing with Kat and I about vegetarianism, extolling the merits of drunk driving, and talking weed with Aaron, then disappeared a few minutes before Gringo’s set. He was still drunk as a skunk, and with a 45 minute drive ahead of him, we could only hope that luck was once more on his side and he’d gotten home safe.

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EXCLUSIVE SALOME TOUR DIARY FROM “GRIM” KIM KELLY, DAY 3: ANOTHER DIY SPACE IN A SHADY AREA, ANOTHER KILLER SHOW

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 at 4:00pm by

Virginia doom crew Salome have been busting eardrums and making waves across the Eastern half of the US on their latest tour, with stops at NYU (with Shrinebuilder/Wolves in the Throne Room) and at the SXSW madhouse, where they decimated showcases from Profound Lore/20 Buck Spin and BrooklynVegan alongside Coffinworm, Yakuza, The Atlas Moth, Zoroaster, Landmine Marathon, and tons more. The next leg of the tour is taking them through the Dirty South, and they’ve brought their buddy “Grim” Kim Kelly along for the ride to sling merch and document the whole thing, Almost Famous-style. You can read the first day’s report here and the second day’s report here… and now we re-join Kim and the band in Raleigh, NC…

Current time: 5:41pm
Current location: A Best Western in Raleigh, NC

So it’s almost 6pm, and we’ve just now woken up. Sounds like we must have been partying ridiculously hard last night, right? Not quite; after playing the show, loading out, and raging a respectable amount with Dark Castle, we decided to drive straight through the night from Atlanta to Raleigh. Aaron is a MACHINE,  and as soon as we got into the city and spotted a cheap-ish hotel, we were all down for the fucking count. With Domino’s ordered and much-needed showers showered, we’ve got a couple hours of downtime before heading down to Slim’s for the last show of the tour (with locals Gringo). Seinfeld marathon? Yes please.

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EXCLUSIVE SALOME TOUR DIARY FROM “GRIM” KIM KELLY, DAY 2: COORDINATING YOUR OUTFIT IS FOR SQUARES

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 3:30pm by

Virginia doom crew Salome have been busting eardrums and making waves across the Eastern half of the US on their latest tour, with stops at NYU (with Shrinebuilder/Wolves in the Throne Room) and at the SXSW madhouse, where they decimated showcases from Profound Lore/20 Buck Spin and BrooklynVegan alongside Coffinworm, Yakuza, The Atlas Moth, Zoroaster, Landmine Marathon, and tons more. The next leg of the tour is taking them through the Dirty South, and they’ve brought their buddy “Grim” Kim Kelly along for the ride to sling merch and document the whole thing, Almost Famous-style. You can read the first day’s report here… and now on to Birmingham, Alabama…

Current time: 2:14am
Current location: Jamie’s house in Birmingham, Alabama

“It’s whiskey, weed, and beer night here in Birmingham,” declared our host, Jamie, his good-natured drawl rising above the crackling Zeppelin record that had replaced the free jazz Aaron keeps cranking in the van. An affable chap with a talent for vegan cooking and a good ol’ Southern boy accent, he had set up the gig, made us dinner, kept us drinking, and was putting us up for the night in the rambling, comfortably worn-in house he shared with a handful of roommates and a menagerie of pets.  He’d come out to greet us as we rolled up to Magic City Wholesale a little after seven and helped us haul the now-familiar mountain of gear up a rickety flight of stairs, then produced a pot of curry something-or-other to take the edge off before Salome’s set.  The venue doubled as an art space and community center, and besides the usual broken windows and concrete you’d expect to find, was decorated with tons of off-the-wall art and murals. It was also cold as BALLS  inside– we couldn’t get over how damp and chilly Alabama was, especially after the Texas sunshine and muggy warmth of Louisiana.

The drive up wasn’t quite as eventful as yesterday’s, although, as usual, the hunt for vegetarian-friendly restaurants proved to be an adventure. We gave the Creole Bagelry an honest shot, but after realizing that they had not only were not serving breakfast items and employed the least-friendly Southerners we’d encountered so far, but were out of coffee on top of it all, we peeled out and drowned our sorrows at some overpriced sandwich place (instead of the $18 gallons of daquiris I suggested). Louisiana melted into Mississippi, we passed through a town called Philadelphia (!!!!) and when a gas stop took us through Meridian, Mississippi, we encountered one of the most depressing sights of the tour so far. The place was a goddamn ghost town. Desperation peered out of every boarded up window and empty storefront, dripped off every misspelled sign and leered at us from every shady check cashing stand. The streets were empty, the curtains were drawn tight, and Meridian, Mississippi, was clearly struggling to draw its last labored breaths. I’m sure there are dying towns just like it scattered across the country, but I’d never driven through a place that seemed so utterly devoid of hope. We were glad to get back on the highway.

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EXCLUSIVE SALOME TOUR DIARY FROM “GRIM” KIM KELLY, DAY 1: YOU CAN’T BEAT A HOMETOWN HOUSE SHOW

Monday, March 22nd, 2010 at 4:30pm by

Virginia doom crew Salome have been busting eardrums and making waves across the Eastern half of the US on their latest tour, with stops at NYU (with Shrinebuilder/Wolves in the Throne Room) and at the SXSW madhouse, where they decimated showcases from Profound Lore/20 Buck Spin and BrooklynVegan alongside Coffinworm, Yakuza, The Atlas Moth, Zoroaster, Landmine Marathon, and tons more. The next leg of the tour is taking them through the Dirty South, and they’ve brought their buddy “Grim” Kim Kelly along for the ride to sling merch and document the whole thing, Almost Famous-style. First stop: Baton Rouge, Louisiana…

Current time: 3:13 am
Current location: A Super 8 somewhere outside Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Louisiana is a pretty desolate state to drive through. For hours at a time, you’ll be cruising down battered highways lined with billboards for “adult super centers” and “Buy 1-Get-11” fireworks stands (talk about recession-proof – if not death-proof – pricing!), staring out into the scrub pines and swamps in the shadow of a thousand Waffle House signs. It’s also not what I’d call “cosmopolitan” by any stretch of the imagination, judging from the reactions we got whenever we stopped to refuel and grab munchies. [Salome vocalist] Kat and Rob [Moore, guitars] look pretty “normal” by anyone’s standards, but Aaron [Deal, drums] and I caused some waves – he with his massive septum ring, tattooed arms and Wolfman beard, and me for my piercings, neck tattoos, 1” lobes and, especially, the inverted cross gracing the back of my Dragged into Sunlight hoodie.

“Dude, they were totally talking shit about you in there,” Aaron chuckled as we pulled away. “Did you see all the religious shit in there? I heard one of them say, ‘That one girl had an upside-down crucifix on her shirt, I never seen something like that before in my life!’”

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A DAY IN HEAVY METAL MECCA: GRIM KIM DOES BIRMINGHAM

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 4:30pm by

birmingham

So I’ve been living in the UK for about four months now, and have managed to take in quite a lot of this “culture” thing they’re so fond of over here. I’ve been to nine countries, eight major metal festivals, and a handful of cities in Ol’ Blighty itself; I’ve gate-crashed hotel parties in Norway with the drummer of Swallow the Sun, stage-dived into a sea of muddy grind freaks in the Czech Republic, gotten roaring drunk with Wolves in the Throne Room in the Netherlands, met Gaahl’s boyfriend in France, gotten lost in Rome, watched Electric Wizard blow an amp in Manchester, lost my mind to Eyehategod at Hellfest, seen Manowar (‘nuff said there) – and that was just the first couple months. Between all the metal, mud, bruises, whiskey, calimocho, hard cider, and terrifying Czech liquor (Becherovka and Fernet are no fucking joke, even if it is Kevin Sharp and Danny Herrera pouring you a shot), I realized that, somehow, something was still missing.

To my immense chagrin, I had yet to take that all-too-necessary pilgrimage up through the Black Country and into the Unholy Land itself – to Birmingham, England. Every metaller worth his leather (and several million other music fans besides) knows exactly why this unimpressive, coal-smudged city matters so much. Birmingham is the ancestral home of heavy metal. Everything – whether it be doom, black metal, powerviolence, or even the plague that is deathcore – everything came from here. The famed Mermaid Pub provided a fertile breeding ground for extreme metal, nestled as it was in a dodgy part of town where the cops ignored the punkers and longhairs milling around out front as the early rumblings of a deadly new sound thundered away upstairs The city itself was the original stomping ground of the dirty sexy hard rock’n’roll of Led Zeppelin, the NWOBHM gods in Judas Priest, the crusty proto-grind of Sore Throat, the scummy grindcore forefathers of Napalm Death, the industrial noise terror of Godflesh, and the one and only BLACK FUCKING SABBATH.

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