The old days were the best, am I right?? I try to listen to some of these new bands, but nothing is as good as when music was REAL!! I’ll never forget Cleveland in the late 90s, going to all those shows at Peabody’s where there were 9 local nu-metal bands on the bill who played for an hour each and you could only tell them apart by their crappy, stale gimmick like matching blue hair or a girl bassist with a c-section scar. Everything felt so alive!!! If you miss those times as much as I do, you are going to love this video! It’s like you are right there, standing next to the men’s room for an hour while the 7th band tries to get their neon strobe lights to work!!

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As you may know, I am a big fan of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Critics may cry foul, but the simple fact of that matter is that originality is highly overrated. Who wants a car with two steering wheels, pants with three legs, or bands who color outside the lines?? Not this guy!

That’s why I am thrilled by the upcoming FORMULAICORE scene, which is an exciting group of hungry young bands that take standardization to a whole new level. If you’ve ever said to yourself “I really want to like Sumeriancore/Risecore, but those bands just take too many chances for me,” then you’re in for a treat!! Take a look at two of the most buzzworthy artists in the genre:

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Leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS has a special Valentine’s Day gift for you: the exclusive, limited-time chance to design your own PACKAGE DEAL!!

For You and Your Sweetie package deal, offers two shirts for $25 plus FREE shipping on the rest of your order ($7 for international). Choose one shirt for your Valentine, then choose one for yourself. After all, you deserve it for being so thoughtful. Also, take advantage of the free shipping by loading up on additional items from the Victory Records webstore. No Valentine? Go ahead and spoil yourself. Don’t miss out on this sweet deal.

IMO package deals are just the latest example of VICTORY RECORDS’ long history of innovative ideas. They offer consumers a great value for their hard-earned dollar, and give Victory a chance to get rid of outdated, shitty product that won’t sell at full price– everybody wins! It’s sort of like how at Olive Garden you can sample wine for 25 cents, only with breakdowns!!

After the break, a few of my favorite SKUs from this exciting marketing initiative– which will YOU choose for YOUR package deal???

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A bunch of people asked me why I didn’t do a Best Of 2011 list, and the answer is simple: I am a futurist! I don’t care about the past because I’m a lot more interested in what’s coming next. If you have to know what the best progressive djentstep cassette-only release of the year was, I’m sure there is a 200+ comment post that will give you more than enough detail on it. But if you want to know what the Next Big Thing will be, keep reading for my 2012 STATE OF THE SCENE ADDRESS!

In a nutshell, there is nothing more trendy this year than being tr00. MySpace is long dead, and while some of the bands that flourished on the site are still around, they’re dying along with the scene that surrounds them. Neon merch, generic deathcore and crabcore are out; ‘real hardcore,’ old-school death metal, and djent are in. Yesterday’s scene kid is today’s hipster/metal nerd, and in what should be welcome news to MS readers, it’s cool to be an elitist snob!

That said, scene isn’t quite dead. There are still plenty of kids in skinny jeans who love Asking Alexandria, Black Veil Brides are still moving units, and you can still spot the odd pair of ice cream DC high tops here and there. Expect 2012 to be an awkward transition year where new meets old, sort of like 1992 when Nirvana, Ugly Kid Joe and Kriss Kross all charted.

After the break: a scientific model of the scene, and what to expect from music, fashion, and media in 2011!

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I don’t usually take requests, but when I do they’re from bands on independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS — in this case, it’s death metal standouts CARNIFEX! Vocalist Scott hit me up on Twitter and asked if I would review their latest album, and I was more than happy to oblige since I’m a big fan of theirs!

Not sure how many of you were around back in the day, but these guys have actually been going strong since 2005, and they have a new album called Until I Feel Nothing. I’ll get into more detail about the record itself, but before I do that I have to I have to touch on what IMO makes this band something truly special: their innovative marketing and merch!

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In b4 butthurt BM nerds realize a hot azn girl made this and they can’t decide whether to rage or white knight

U mirin? Follow her Tumblr!

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. celebrates diversity every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

Everybody knows that whatever’s currently popular in the hardcore scene basically = copying whatever metal bands were doing 10-15 years earlier. 80s bands like DRI and Leeway were basically just little kids screaming over the “choppa-choppa” riffs of dinosaur thrash like Megadeth or Exodus (leading to an epidemic of chopaholism that ultimately killed the crossover scene), and 90s hardcore was essentially one big tribute to Slayer and Pantera, only with lyrics about animal rights instead of wizards and pot.

By the 00s, hardcore moved on to stealing from At The Gates, and the 2K10s are all about blast beats and gutturals, with even seemingly hardcore-proof genres like djent being raided for riffs by bros in skinny jeans with stretched ears. At first glance, you might think that means moshbros have stolen everything there is to steal from metal. I mean, if they’re jocking relatively extreme, tr00 bands like Nile and Dying Fetus, what’s left?? What’s the next frontier for hardcore bands who are out of ideas???

The answer is deceptively simple: it’s been 15 years since Cannibal Corpse put out Vile and Korn released Life Is Peachy. Put the two together, add in a pinch of neck tattoos and a healthy dose of lyrics that look sweet on the back of a shirt in Impact font and you have what is officially The Next Big Thing: NU-DETHCORE.

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For those who don’t know, the guy who co-founded SOUTHERN LORD was an sxe moshbro back in the ’80s and early ’90s, and had a terrible/lulzy hardcore band called BROTHERHOOD. Then after youth crew was cool, he was in ENGINE KID, a really shitty alternative rock band. After that he was in a drone band that was kind of sweet called TEETH OF LIONS RULE THE DIVINE (lol @ hipster name), then he was in another drone band called SUNN O)), but they weren’t as good as his other drone band. Curious??? READ MOAR!

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Hop on Tumblr for a few minutes, and at least 50% of what you’ll see will be one of the following: cats, and girls in slutty poses wearing metal shirts. While I totally support girls taking slutty pics of themselves and putting them on the internet, I have to make sure we all understand what’s really happening. Brahs, don’t be fooled: GIRLS DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE METAL!

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When it comes to deathcore, there’s a pretty clear hierarchy: You’ve got the first-string bands like Suiside Silence, Whitechapel, BMTH and Winds of Plague at the top of the heap, the junior varsity, like, say, Chelsea Grin rounding out the middle, and then the 5 zillion generic also-rans/no-hopers at the bottom of the pile. Carnifex is an interesting one though, because I’m not quite sure where to put them, the bottom of the first string or the top of the JV team. I kind of feel like they are just floating out there, with no real clear sense of where they belong.

With that said, they have a new album on leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS coming out next month and just released a lyric video for the first single (above). Although it pretty much sounds exactly like their old stuff, I think that kind answers most of my questions about where they fit into the deathcore hierarchy. Is this style still a thing?? Seems very deathcore 2.0 to me — I expected them to copy Meshuggah and Korn like all the first-tier started doing last year. Also, the video itself is pretty facepalm inducing… if you feel like making your own DEATHCORE LYRIC VIDEO, apparently all you need is a torrent of After Effects and some freeware grunge fonts!

Anyway, if you are on the West coast, check them out on tour next month with Suffokate and the highly underrated FIRST FUCKING BLOOD! Hit them up on Facebook for a complete list of dates.

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. is a first-stringer every day on Stuff You Will Hate.

When it comes to guttural slamming brutality, crushing slamz, and unrelenting pitt riffment, nobody does it better than San Diego’s CEPHALOTRIPSY. Their album still stands as far and away the best slam metal recording ever released, but they’ve been pretty quiet since then, only releasing two new demo songs. I kind of thought they were a one-and-done band, but I’m happy to say I was wrong. That’s right culeros, CEPHALOTRIPSY IS BACK!!!

New studio song — every bit as brutal and unforgiving as I could have hoped for, but just a tiny bit more progressive than their old stuff (in a non-pussy way, though). Oh and DAT SNARE!!

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If you’ve ever told someone that BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME is better than HATEBREED… you just might be an internet metal nerd. If you’ve ever pretended you don’t like a band because they played Warped Tour and you were afraid your friends would call you a poser… well, you’re probably an internet metal nerd. If you actually think Decrepit Birth has gotten better, not worse, it’s pretty safe to say you just might be an internet metal nerd. And if you’ve ever had a nerdrage tantrum when someone calls your pet band deathcore, there’s no two ways about it: YOU’RE DEFINITELY AN INTERNET METAL NERD!

An IMN is more than simply a metal fan who also uses the internet: being an IMN is a lifestyle. And unfortunately, it’s not a recipe for success as a human being. In fact, it’s the fast track to ending up a lonely, miserable weirdo who alienates everybody but other lonely, miserable weirdos. I know this because I speak from experience: it’s not easy for me to say this publicly, but the truth is that I was once a metal nerd :(

But I’m not here to hate. As a former metal nerd who knows your pain, I am here to help: THIS POST IS A SAFE SPACE! We can be honest with each other here. There is no judgement, only real talk. Want to know if YOU are an internet metal nerd, and what to do if you are?? Find out after the break!

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What’s up guys I need your help. As you know I am not just a blogger, but also a musician like a lot of you. I just wanted to post this acoustic cover I did of “BTM/FDR” for this cool Alternative Press contest. The winner gets to open for the Deez Nuts/BMTH/Parkway Drive tour in my town! This would be a huuuuge chance for me, especially since I read on Absolute Punk that their were going to be a lot of ‘industry people’ at the show, so I would really appreciate it if you could vote for me!!

Also for all you ‘haters,’ I know this video isn’t perfect so let me just go ahead and say I know it’s not perfect and there are some things I will be fixing when I re-record this. So if you were going to ‘hate’ on me for any of these things, don’t even bother, I will do it for you haha:

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GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WIFING GOALS IN 2011

I guess the 16 year-old bro who got kicked out of Design The Skyline didn’t get his fill of public self-clowning when he cried about it on his Tumblr the other day… He’s back, this time gushing about how he wants to marry his little girlfriend! Some pretty epic white knighting here. Highlights:

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If you’re like most musicians these days, there are two big questions you struggle with. First, what are we trying to say with our brand/image: pretty boy party animals ala Asking Alexandria, srs brooding artists like Converge, ponytailed betas (Animals As Leaders), or what? And second, but more importantly, how are we going to come up with sick breakdowns that will end up on every YouTube “TOP 10 METALCORE BREAKDOWNS THAT GO HARD” video?

I’ll save the first question for another post, but if you’re stumped for breakdown ideas, look no further than this video by a band called ARBITER. It turns out that all you need is a deck of cards! While it’s clearly tongue-in-cheek, what makes this video so awesome is that it’s pure truth. The “advanced breakdown” at 4:30? Oh fuck yes!! You’re moshing!!!!

Will you use THE ARBITER METHOD next time you need to come up with an advanced-level breakdown?? Did they take the easy way out when they removed the 7s, 8s, and 9s from the deck? Which card represents “gang vocals shouting a controversial slogan before you break that shit down”???

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. writes advanced blog posts every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

¿¡Q-VO, CULEROS?! Te gustan EL MOSH?! Pienso que sí! Escuchame si te quiero EL MOSH tambien!!!

As you can tell from my terrible Spanish, I’m just a dumb güero who can barely tell a tamale from a taqueria. I might not be the master of foreign languages, but I do know that Latinos always been a big part of metal/punk/hardcore (even though nobody ever talks about it). Not only that, but Latinos might be a driving force in the future of the genre — in fact, I think the next big thing will be middle-class white kids jocking Mexicans!

In this post, I will discuss the past, present and future of Latinos in metal/hardcore/etc. Whether you’re a pinche white person like me or a Latino, tell me if you see things the same as I do. Feel free to tell me I’m an idiot/racist/troll if you want, but I would prefer legitimate discussion since I am genuinely interested in this topic.

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I like to think of myself as a little more open-minded than the average metal fan. If you look at my Zune playlist, you’ll find everything from As I Lay Dying to Killswitch Engage, from Lamb of God to Pantera, right next to Chimaira and DevilDriver — a pretty diverse mix to say the least, right??! As you can see, I am always looking for new music, but at the same time my Zune only has a 512MB hard drive so I can’t just buy every new metal album on the Zune Marketplace!

With that in mind I need your help. I’m really excited to learn more about GRINDCORE and DOOM METAL, but tbh I don’t know a lot about either one and like I said I only have so much space on my Zune, so I am trying to choose which one I like better!

Which do you guys think is better, GRINDCORE or DOOM??? What are the best artists in each genre?? What exactly is the difference between the two????? Please add your comments to the discussion! (Just click on the “ADD A REPLY” button to add a comment)

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We are proud to present an EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE from one of my favorite newer bands, EMMURE. It’s not only the second single from their latest album “Speaker of the Dead,” but in my opinion their best song. And remember, you saw it here first!!

For those of you who are reading this on your Zune, do not yet have a 56k connection, or for whatever other reason cannot watch the video, here are my notes:

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BREAKING NEWS: Victory Records sensations DESIGN THE SKYLINE have parted ways with their bassist, Ethan. Information is sketchy thusfar, but here’s what we know via his Tumblr (lulzy parts highlighted in bold):

So my asshole band members just kicked me out because im 16. Ive worked so hard in this band ive done alot i drove all the way to chicago with them to get signed i made 2 music videos with them i do nothing wrong. And were going on our first tour in about 2 weeks. And there just dropping me like that. Nothing ever goes well for me in my life not school not relationships and finially i get in a band ive loved music my whole life and we finially get signed a dream come true and now ive lost that. I feel like that once in a life time chance had finally come and now its just gone like that cause my band members are fucking heartless. They know what shit ive been through but there just selfish. Now i feel like my life isnt worth living im just a normal ass person like ive always been and that sucks, i was so excited to see what tour is like and get to go to europe and see beautiful places on this earth. I cant even type right right now im shaking im so scared and mad and idk its an intense feeling i just broke a mirror with my hand and im bleeding i feel stupid. wtf is wrong with me. nothing goes well for me and this is just like assuring me nothing else ever will.. omg im freaking out. a;sdkjf;f FUCK man. i hope NONE of you guys have problems like this in yalls lives i hope you all live amazing wonderful happy lives no one deserves this but apparently i do for some fucked up reason..

AFTER THE BREAK, the tl;dr version…

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Ask 100 people their definition of deathcore, and you’ll get 101 answers, each different than the last. But the truth is that deathcore is actually really easy to define: it’s mallcore kids trying to play death metal, and try as they might, they will never quite get it right. Although that sounds like a criticism, it isn’t — the same raw, amateurish charm that made 80s hardcore like DRI and MDC great is the same reason why deathcore bands are awesome, even if they fail at their original goal of playing “sweet metal.”

Sure, their ham-fisted, clumsy attempts at playing “real metal” might be a little facepalm-worthy and/or lulzy at times, but on the other hand, they are a lot more interesting than the same old generic bullshit the br00tal death metal scene has churned out for years. Moreover, hardcore as a whole is just kids who try to play whatever kind of metal was cool 10 years earlier, so if you hate on deathcore you’re hating on the last three decades of hardcore!

In this article, I will present both a framework for assessing the history of deathcore, and my hypothesis about the future of the genre. Specifically, that deathcore has three, clearly-defined phases in its short history: Deathcore 1.0 (ripping off Gothenburgcore/melodeath), Deathcore 2.0 (ripping off br00tal death) and Deathcore 3.0 (ripping off djent/prog/wank/etc).

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