In case you’ve somehow never seen it before, watch this old PSA from the 70s:
Now watch the new Within Temptation video. It’s probably best to put your computer on mute first, though, because – and I say this as someone who is a sucker for a good power ballad – the song is aural diarrhea.
As I mentioned earlier, Kip and I went to see Porcupine Tree (and King’s X!) this past Thursday. Porcupine Tree was good, if not spectacular… they’re all great players, they write good songs, have an excellent sense of composition and are certainly quite accomplished; but at no point during the performance was I at all wowed.
Except when I realized that “Time Flies,” Movement IX from the first disc of the band’s new record The Incident, is a dead rip-off of Pink Floyd’s “Dogs” (from the Animals record, a personal favorite of mine). Now, Steven Wilson has certainly never been shy about his love of Floyd, and even if not for that it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who’s heard Porcupine Tree’s music before that the band bows down in the alter of Floyd. But YO, this is like, too similar for comfort. Check it out:
Porcupine Tree – “Time Flies”:
Pink Floyd – “Dogs”:
I’m not crazy, right? The staccato-strummed acoustic guitar, the keyboard swells leading into each chord change, similar vocal melodies, the verse that starts “and after a while…”. The only real difference is that the P-Tree riff is in 3/4 instead of Floyd’s 4/4. Sorry Steven, you rule at producing Opeth and you’re a talented musician, but for this you get a big, fat, epic FAIL.
-VN
Here’s a picture of Ryan Adams, who would irritate the living shit out of me even if he wasn’t married to the equally annoying Mandy Moore, wearing a Kreator shirt at a recent art show:
If Ryan Adams can tell me the name of one Kreator song, I’ll suck his cock and film it for the site. Go for it, Ryan. I’m waiting.
See more photos here. Formerly cool D-Generation singer turned hipster tool bag Jesse Malin was there, too.
-AR
[via SMN]
“… so we’ll celebrate by charging $154 for an ugly t-shirt made by teens in a sweat-shop in Taiwan, to be worn by privileged suburban white males who wear supposed ‘punk’ clothing as a badge of identity.” – Ed Hardy [via Metal Insider]
Punk is officially dead.
-VN
Luckily for Five Finger Death Punch, being total assholes who completely lack any musical talent isn’t hurting their record sales: their new album, War is the Answer, is apparently going to sell to somewhere between 35,000 – 40,000 copies in its first week of release… and that’s just here in the U.S. That probably sounds like a lot of units moved, and you’re right. It is a lot of fucking units moved. To put it in perspective with the sales of some awesome albums that came out this week…
I found the following quote from a recent interview with Gene Simmons to be (inadvertently) hilarious:
“This is electric church, and no one on that stage — me or anyone else — wears the makeup and platform heels by some kind of birthright. This ain’t Europe; just ’cause your dad was king doesn’t make you the king. You’ve got to earn it. And when you defile KISS, you should be thrown out.”
Gene is referring to dudes like Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and Vinnie Vincent, of course. But I have to wonder what he thinks they did that was worse than this:
I don’t know who you are, Stefanie Heinzmann, but give yourself a big ol’ pat on the back. You’ve managed to make Avril Lavigne look like Chuck Schulinder. I’d rather listen to Attack Attack! cover Katy Perry, fer Chrissakes.
I’m saying this sucks.
MS Maniac Charlie Famer sent this to us, and claims that it was a big hit in Switzerland last year. Assuming that’s true, I’d just like to take this moment to say suck it, Switzerland.
-AR
Just yesterday Five Finger Death Punch announced the disappearance of guitarist Zoltan Bathory under bizarre circumstances that suggested the whole thing might be little more than a publicity ploy. Well, it took a flashlight and an anatomy lesson in the difference between one’s elbow and one’s asshole, but the band has located the machine that turned a little kid into Tom Hanks. In this cleverly worded statement on their MySpace blog, FFDP sez:
I started learning to play guitar when I was eleven. That was also the year I had my first guitar recital (which I realized even then wasn’t cool, but what was I gonna do, tell my parents to take the lessons I’d asked for and blow ‘em out their collective ass?). I probably sounded like I was playing with broken fingers, but everyone applauded when I was done because, well, I was eleven years old and it was my first time playing in front of people and that’s what you do when an eleven year old kid is showing some effort.
But why the fuck anyone would applaud for this is just way, way beyond me.
Actually, I think he’d sound better if someone broke his fingers. Certainly couldn’t hurt.
-AR
Thanks to twisted_freak for the tip.
In his “Tell Us Why MetalSucks Sucks” contest entry, finalist Malacoda accused us of not covering Nevermore at all. To this I have two things to say:
1) this is clearly not true. (ditto for All Shall Perish, the other band Malacoda suggested we gave the short shrift, whom we have covered in abundance)
2) fuck you.
To that end, here’s a video of a shred-off between Chris Broderick (now in Megadeth) and Jeff Loomis filmed at Jaxx in Springfield, VA in 2006. SHRED!
Nevermore are currently recording a new album. No word on a release date yet, but you’ll definitely know as soon as we do.
-VN
Well, I don’t know that the original Faith No More vocalist is back on smack, but I can’t think of any other way to explain this statement from a recent Rolling Stone interview:
“I thought [firing guitarist Jim Martin] was as big if not bigger a mistake than getting rid of me — just because he had a lot of pull with the big part of their crowd at the time. And he was ‘the personality,’ y’know? There was something people could identify to. After Jim, they were going through a string of different guitar players, and I couldn’t name one of them. That Jagger/Richards, Plant/Page thing was gone.”
Alright, I love Jim Martin as much as the next guy, but come on, dude. Let’s look at some facts:
A tweet from The Syndicate alerted me to this story about the recent re-launch of Buddyhead.com, “the original snarky music website.” Seems that Buddyhead founder Travis Keller made some off-the-cuff comments about Manson’s fashion sense (or lack thereof). Manson, in turn, decided to take the high road but issuing an open challenge to bloggers everywhere:
Sgt. D’s Stuff You Will Hate continues to live up to its name, now by profiling Indiana’s Dropping A Popped Locket. Not being from Indiana, I’ve never huffed or gotten drunk off of cough syrup because I’ve always had access to actual drugs and actual alcohol. So I don’t understand what the fuck the band name means. I do understand that this is simultaneously hilarious, pathetic, and hilariously pathetic.
The best part, of course, is that when the “show” was over, those two dudes doing the wheelbarrow went home together and did the wheelbarrow some more. Naked.
I’m saying they fucked.
-AR
A few weeks back, on the Metal Injection Livecast (still shilling!!!)Rob Pasbani and company played me Ja Rule’s “We Did it Again,” a song using Metallica outtakes from St. Anger (including some truly ridiculous Hetfield vox that sound totally out of step with the rest of the song) that I had successfully managed to avoid these past few years.
Problem is, ever since I heard it, I often wake up in a cold sweat, screaming “YEAH WE DID IT DID IT DID IT!” This is what it must have been like to survive ‘Nam.
In all seriousness: gotta love* how Metallica keep thinking up new ways to shit all over their legacy.
You can listen to the song here, assuming you don’t value your sanity. In the meantime, here’s some behind-the-scenes shit about the track, which appears as one of the deleted scenes on the Some Kind of Monster (a.k.a. Live Action Metalocalypse) DVD.
-AR
*And by “love,” I mean “loathe.”
Oddly enough, the baby sandwich is not the poorly Photoshopped part of this picture.
This is Ray Herrera from a recent interview*:
-AR
Honkey Grandma be trippin’.
I’m sorry. This is awful. This is objectively awful. There is nothing good about it. I can’t think of one goddamn nice thing to say. Fuck this. Fuck it in the ear.
-AR
I just read this on the ol’ Bmouth:
SLAYER guitarist Kerry King, a close friend of the late “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott (PANTERA, DAMAGELAN), had the legendary axeman’s guitar in the studio during the recording process for SLAYER’s new album, “World Painted Blood” (although he didn’t use it it during the sessions), still with the same strings that were on it the last time Dimebag played it. “The one thing that made me look at my lead playing a little differently was when Dimebag passed away,” revealed King. “Not that I’m going to fill Dime’s shoes because nobody can do that, but I paid more attention to my leads while recording this album. I wanted to make them more memorable in memory of Dime.”
Holy shitballs. Former Anthrax guitarist and current Christian midget watchmaker Dan Spitz has started a new project, DeuxMonkey, and it’s so objectively stupid that I’m amazed it’s not directed by Michael Bay.
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