2011 wasn’t exactly a banner year for metal. I see a world of metal caught in transition. The aughts are behind us, and what the new decade will hold is anyone’s guess, really. Of course, none of this is to say that there aren’t nuggets of face-melting joy. Here are fifteen records that stand out from the pack among this year’s crop of metal records, conveniently ranked from least most awesome to most most awesome.

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Making this list in 2011 seemed like a much bigger…. thing, I guess, than making this list in 2010 was. Maybe it’s because one specific album didn’t really stick out to me the same way things like Ihsahn’s After or Anaal Nathrakh’s In the Constellation of the Black Widow did in previous years. But the thing I really did notice this year was the hideous amount of catchiness in the music I enjoyed. So much of what I listened to felt samey and generic, but the things that really made an impression primarily capitalized on hooks, memorable riffs, and headbanging choruses. Technicality stopped being as impressive to me as it used to be.

Which is probably why the albums on my list are generally a bit weird, and also why the majority of readers are going to hate the albums I put on my “disappointments” list. Please feel free to express your overly self-righteous rage in the comments. Hooray for the evolution and adaptation of musical tastes.

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2011: A pretty good year for the old school. And, no, with all due respect to the band, Worship Music is not the best Anthrax album.

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2011 was a great year for releases, as well as my first year covering them like a spectre.   Thanks, MetalSucks. Here’s my list:

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So call it old age or what have you, but this writer fell out of ”check” with “the scene” around June or so (as far as new stuff coming out), and was also astonished to see that Uriah Heep put out another album unbeknownst to him. Plus, a lot of the albums that made my list are traditionalist or power metal. Yikes.

Then there’s the plethora of stuff in the “I’ll get to it eventually” folder of my PC that did not get got to. And then there are the ones I just plain forgot about.

But, hopefully, the important thing isn’t missing a few releases here or there in our quest to be in touch even as aging metalheads. Hopefully, the important thing is still supporting the scene at shows, by buying merch or even continuing to purchase those pieces of plastic and vinyl they manufacture.

And so:

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF GOD FORBID, SKELETONWITCH, CHARRED WALLS OF THE DAMNED, MUNICIPAL WASTE, TODAY IS THE DAY, LANDMINE MARATHON, AND SHAI HULUD

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike have graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time two to three times a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF CANNIBAL CORPSE, OBSCURA, FORBIDDEN, LAZARUS A.D., GIANT SQUID, PYRAMIDS, WOLVHAMMER, BENEATH OBLIVION, HALCYON WAY, AND GADGET

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike have graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time two to three times a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF MELVINS, RED FANG,  JUNIUS,  EXHUMED, RWAKE, ORPHANED LAND, HULL, EARTH, AND KILL THE CLIENT

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike have graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time two to three times a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF ARCH ENEMY, THAT METAL SHOW, BLACK ANVIL, ABIGAIL WILLIAMS, AND LEPROUS

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time two to three times a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF AT THE GATES, TEXTURES, GRIDLINK, FIGHT AMP, MONSTRO, GLORIOR BELLI, VALLENFYRE, HOODED MENACE, AND PORTRAIT

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time two to three times a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF MACHINE HEAD, EPICA, NAILS, CLINGING TO THE TREES OF A FOREST FIRE, ARGUS, EVERYTHING WENT BLACK, AND WEAPON

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time twice a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the next group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF LACUNA COIL, TRAPPED UNDER ICE, ALLEGAEON, CULTED, MILLIONS, BIRTH A.D., AND NIGHTFALL

Every year year, MetalSucks asks musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year have been. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of nine to ten musicians at a time twice a day for the whole week.

After the jump, check out the first group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

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What are the top ten most overused words in extreme metal writing? The ones that make you cringe in embarrassment when you see them on the printed page or screen? The Number of the Blog’s new writer Rev. Will put together a top ten list of the worst offenders, excluding unavoidably essential terms like “riffs”, “solos”, “metal”, etc., and the results are not only dead-on but completely hilarious in Rev. Will’s satirical mocking.

As someone who pumps out 3-5 (sometimes more) written pieces about metal five days a week, yeah, I’m totally guilty of almost everything on this list! Some of the words included are fairly obvious (“brutal”, “Slayer”), while arguments for others that aren’t obvious at all have been articulated so well they put me straight into shameful facepalm mode. Oh well… I never claimed to be a great writer anyway, just some douchebag with an opinion.

-VN

Video games can be metal. I’m not talking put-on-big-hair-and-fight-demons-while-the-guitarist-shreds metal, but dark, creepy, rich, brutal, wading-through-blood-while-trying-to-hold-onto-your-soul metal. The sort of experience that’s intense and horrifying and makes you see, hear, and feel the world as a dangerous, wicked thing that wants nothing more than to consume your being. Sure, there’s plenty of demon fighting too, but I’m talking more about the general theme of the hardcore metal genres. Here are the seven most harsh, most dark, and in many cases most insanely awesome metal video games ever made.

And if you’re interested in big-hair-and-fight-demons metal, check out this older list. It has two titles that overlap, and then stays away from the creepy, crushing darkness of “truly” metal games in favor of huge swords and guitar solos. Because there’s nothing wrong with that if you like keeping your soul un-crushed.

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“The ’90s were a challenging decade for metal,” opens Loudwire writer Joe Robinson. You got that right! ’90s nostalgia hasn’t firmly set in for metal yet; Limp Bizkit’s new record tanked, less people are interested in Korn than ever, and some of the more credible ’90s acts from Europe never even stopped to take a drink of water. But that hasn’t stopped Loudwire from publishing a “Top 11 Metal Albums of the ’90s” list. For once, I think this topic is quite ripe for list-making given metal’s widespread unpopularity during the decade. Sure, decades themselves are artificial constructs with which musical trends don’t neatly align (hair metal was still huge in ’90 and ’91 and the true stuff was already filtering back in by the end), but they do provide convenient language for discourse, much like metal sub-genres aren’t always perfect but give us some kind of approximation of what a band sounds like.

Loudwire’s list is actually pretty solid; it’s hard to argue that any of these albums shouldn’t be included on a best-of-the-’90s metal list, and I love the inclusion of Alice in Chains and Tool. I could do without Korn’s debut, but I know it was important to a lot of people and it certainly left its mark on the metal landscape. I have a hard time believing Anthrax’s Persistence of Time would’ve appeared on this list had the band not just released a new album. The list completely omits European bands, and I think In Flames’ The Jester Race, Whoracle or Colony — any one of ‘em — deserve a nod for all the impact they had on metal to come. For that matter, how about At the Gates? Or Refused’s Shape of Punk to Come? And what ’90s metal list is complete without Nevermore or Iced Earth, two bands that essentially flied in the face of “cool” and held up giant middle fingers?

But whatevs… it’s a list, and therefore cannot be perfect. Go check it out here, then come back here with your arguin’ pants on and tell us what you think the comments.

-VN

Thanks: Andrew Robbins

What was the best debut metal album of the past 25 years?? Metal Hammer wanted to know, so they asked their readers… and over 16,000 responded.

Now, if there’s anything my otherwise worthless Communications Studies college degree taught me, it’s how to parse survey results. Any survey conducted in the manner of Metal Hammer’s is obviously going to have skewed results; a poll held online is probably going to skew younger, the magazine’s readers probably skew younger to begin with, the magazine’s coverage choices might be biased thereby attracting readers with certain tastes, newer albums are likely to be remembered more freshly than older ones, UK metalheads might have different tastes than those elsewhere, the questions were probably not posed in a scientific manner, and on and on and on. But that doesn’t mean this survey isn’t worth something: while it might not show how the general world populace views all metal debuts released in the past 25 years, it does show what a large group of Metal Hammer readers think. And that is certainly interesting!

My point is this: don’t get too butthurt when you see that Korn’s debut was named #2, above GN’R's Appetite for Destruction no less. Or that Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory appears far above Rage Against the Machine’s self-titled. But man… that does kinda sting.

View the rest of the list here — including the shocking-but-not-really #1 choice — then come back to MS for some good old-fashioned name-calling and flame-warring.

-VN

Thanks: Mat Bourbon

Two weeks I wrote about how Ratt’s “Dance” is an excellent stripping song, and jested about trying it out myself. Jokes aside, I’ve always been fascinated by strip clubs and strippers and the whole shebang. It’s just so weird to me. The way it all functions and how lucrative it really is. When I was in college, we affectionately called the street right next to us “Stripper Alley” because of the cluster of clubs situated two steps from the dorms. You’d be hard-pressed to find worse houses of “burlesque” in the country.

Unfortunately, any fantasies or visions of naked grandeur were put to rest when I attended one innocent evening and an enthusiastic and obviously pregnant girl started raving about how much she loved my name. ‘Cause my real name was her stage name. Thanks, mom and dad.

It’s hard to deny that there’s some connection between metal, especially hair metal, and stripping. They go hand in hand like… syphilis and crazy. But I really don’t like the “stripping songs” that everyone always seems to go with. “Pour Some Sugar On Me”… like, really? There are so many underrated bands from that era and even more underrated songs. Some just had bad timing and some were plain ignored. But it got me thinking.

So here are the top underrated bands (note: “underrated” does not necessarily mean “unpopular”) of the 80s and early 90s, along with their corresponding strip songs. Now, these aren’t my choices, mind you — I just think they’d get the job done. I really hope no family members are reading this but if they are: HEY YOU GAVE ME A STRIPPER NAME, THIS WAS INEVITABLE.

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With the Big 4 concert in NYC fast approaching, its high time for some tasteless list-making and name-calling. Even the staunchest of metal purists probably can’t summon quite the amount of hatred for Metallica that we here at MetalSucks feel towards the Yankees (really just their fans), but lettuce be cereal here for a moment: it’s only too fitting that Metallica chose Yankee Stadium for the Big 4 show. So, here we go, the Top Fifteen Reasons That Metallica Are the Yankees of Metal:

15. Both had classic and storied beginnings but are now concerned only with making Benjamins.

14. Both suffered premature losses of legends (Lou Gehrig = Cliff Burton).

13. Both have historically received unwarranted amounts of attention despite the presence of more authentic, likable peers (Slayer / Megadeth / Anthrax = Giants / Dodgers / Mets)

12. Believe in charging even the poorest of their fans $90 for a ticket and $40 for a t-shirt.

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Justin M. Norton over at Invisible Oranges has been killing it this week. Yesterday, he wrote a really great piece about entitled “Why Ghost Matters,” which you should definitely check out, especially if, for some reason, you’re still not convinced that those Swedes are the real deal; now, he’s unveiled his list of the Top 10 Metal Lyricists, which, I imagine, will cause exactly the kind of shit storm that makes the internet so damn fun in the first place.

And, hey, I don’t agree with all of his inclusions (although I certainly agree with some of ‘em, like one Mr. J.R. Hayes from Pig Destroyer). But, again, the debate is what’s so much fun about these kinds of things. Lists don’t really “mean” anything — they’re just the opinions of one individual or a group of individuals. But what’s great about them is that they get people thinking; even if you disagree with the choices, you have to figure out a way to articulate exactly why you disagree with the choices, to hopefully come up with a retort more sophisticated than “You’re wrong and you’re a douche for disagreeing with me.” (Although, clearly, some internetters fall back on that “reasoning,” too.)

Check out Norton’s list here, then come back and let us know who your own favorite metal lyricists are in our comments section. Two of my personal poetic heroes who I think definitely deserve to be on this list: Tool’s Maynard James Keenan and The Red Chord’s Guy Kozowyk. How about you cats?

-AR

Every year seems to either be hailed as the “best year for metal in ever” or discarded as “the year Morbid Angel and everyone else sucked really badly,” and this year has been no different. I’ve heard everything across the board from praise to condemnation, but I think that so far, 2011′s been pretty good — we got long-awaited albums from old favorites, surprising returns, and some awesome breakout albums. I admit I haven’t heard everything I should’ve yet, but I have managed to plow through a significant stack of music, and found the following to be really standout releases so far:

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