MS reader Marcus Przyborowski went to see the MetalSucks-sponsored North American Khaos Tour with Arch Enemy, DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch and Chthonic in San Francisco earlier this fall and decided to wear his nifty Vertebrae 33-designed MetalSucks t-shirt to the show. And wouldn’t you know it, Marcus is now e-famous thanks to his good sense in fashion; that’s Marcus, above center, kickin’ it with Scott “Scunty D” Hedrick and Evan “Loosh” Linger from Skeletonwitch after the show; note the Arch Enemy drumstick that Marcus “had to fight and defend for from dozens of other sweaty men!”

For entering our ongoing Show Us Your MetalSucks contest, Marcus will be getting a big ol’ box of metal merch in the mail. You, too, can get a box of free stuff by sending fun pics of yourself wearing MS merch to news[at]metalsucks[dot]net. Not a bad deal at all if you ask us.

Cold Winds on Timeless Days, the sophomore effort from Richard Christy’s Charred Walls of the Damned, comes out TOMORROW on Metal Blade, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll pick it up. Trust us: you will thank us later.

Tomorrow at 11:59pm EDT is also the deadline for our current Photoshop Richard Christy Contest, in which you can win some cool swag, including signed cymbals and drumheads, and an adult diaper that was worn by Richard himself during the recent Big 4 show at Yankee Stadium. (Seriously. We’re not kidding about that part. Enter before it’s too late!!! You can get all the details on this awesome contest here.)

But wait!!! There’s more! MetalSucks is teaming up with our friend Rodney Githens from Vertebrae 33 to bring you an AWSOME booth at this weekend’s New York Comic Con! We’ll have tons of cool goodies from Indie Merch and Metal Blade, and — best of all — Mr. Richard Christy himself will be at our booth this Friday, October 14 from 5-7 p.m., selling and signing copies of Cold Winds on Timeless Days!!! The Con starts this Thursday night and runs through Sunday, so buy tickets now to make sure you don’t miss out!!!

-Axl, Vince, and Everyone at MetalSucks

Last week we gave ya’ll the opportunity to win a signed CD booklet from Kingdom of Sorrow’s latest, Behind the Blackest Tears. Since we installed the new commenting system it’s been easier to sort through these entries based on the number of “likes” each comment receives, but this week’s winner — by far the funniest — didn’t have any likes at all:

• Worksofein: “Deathspell Bromega.”

For the second year in a row, MetalSucks is proud to be teaming up with our friends at Metal Injection and 1000 Knives for a totally kick-ass CMJ Music Marathon showcase at the always-fun Club Europa in Brooklyn. This year’s edition will take place on Friday, October 21, and will be co-headlined by the unfuckwithable one-two punch of Kvelertak and Skeletonwitch, as part of their MetalSucks-presented U.S. tour with Zoroaster (full itineraryhere, although Zoroaster will not appear at the CMJ showcase). Support will be provided by three up n’ coming bands that we absolutely love and think have big, big, big things in their future: Barn Burner, Turbid North, and Battlecross.

It is going to be a totally fucknuts crazy show and wild-ass party — and now you can win free tickets AND a silk-screened copy of the awesome show poster you see above. Pretty sweet, right?

Head over to the show’s official Facebook page for details on how to win. Of course, if you don’t wanna risk not winning and getting shut of this sure-to-be-unforgettable night, you can always buy tickets here.

-Axl, Vince, and Everyone at MetalSucks

Meet MetalSucks reader Nick V.S., the latest entrant of our ongoing Show Us Your MetalSucks contest, in which we send you a box o’ free metal goodies in exchange for pics of yourself donning MS merch. Nick fixes and services trumpets, saxophones, violins and guitars out of his back office of a Deer Park, NY instrument dealer. When he’s not listening to some pimply-faced 12-year old with bad B.O. and greasy hair hack through the solo of Metallica’s “One” and when he’s not busy repairing someone’s neglected broken guitar, Nick whittles away the day on MetalSucks, as you can see from the fine website showing on his computer screen.

That’s the limited edition “Appetite for Deconstruction” shirt Nick is wearing, featuring animated versions of our own faces (we’re modest); there are only a few left, so get yours now. And don’t forget about our standard line of MetalSucks shirts (and hoodie!) too.

A couple more pics of Nick showing off his instruments (huh huh, huh, he said “instruments”) after the jump.

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Last week we offered up a grab bag of metal merch from the MetalSucks Mansion, and I can guarantee that the goodies we’ll provide will not disappoint. Here’s our winner:

• Numbchucks: “On the plus side, they never had trouble parking the van…”

The prize for last week’s Photo Caption Contest was the Helo TC, an iPhone-controlled remote helicopter. I’m telling you people, Griffin sent me one of these bad boys to play around with and the Mansion hasn’t been the same since; they rule. Dental_Damnation and Chris, the winners, are in for a treat when theirs arrive in the mail:

• Dental_Damnation: “Sunhats by Abbath: “There’s nothing kvlt abovt a svnbvrn.”
• Chris: “Even black metal supports breast cancer awareness.”

This week’s we’re giving away a grab-bag of metal stuff: brand new CDs, posters, stickers, etc. To win, leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by tipster Fuzzy Dunlop). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect / Twitter etc).

As we’ve said multiple times in the past few weeks, Cold Winds on Timeless Days, the sophomore effort from Richard Christy’s Charred Walls of the Damned, friggin’ KILLS. This supergroup which is actually super — it also features Tim “Ripper” Owens on vocals, Jason Suecof on guitars, and Steve DiGiorgio on bass — have made an album which, as Vince put it, is impossible to listen to “without feeling like your invisible chalice full of your slain enemy’s blood absolutely must be raised to the sky.” This is one of those records that is just pure metal, through and through.

To celebrate the album’s October 11th release (pre-order it here!), MetalSucks is proud to be teaming up with Metal Blade and the legendary Mr. Christy (Death, Iced Earth, Control Denied, The Howard Stern Show, etc.) himself for what is easily one of our coolest, and most fun, contests ever. Here’s how it’s gonna work:

• Download this picture of Richard Christy.
• Photoshop Richard into the most ridiculous, fun scenario you can imagine. Seriously, there are no limits here — do what ya gotta do to make us laugh.
• Send your entry, along with your name and address, to news AT metalsucks DOT net, with CWOTD CONTEST in the subject line. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only.

And that’s it! We’ll select the three funniest photos to be the grand-prize and runner-up winners, respectively… and those winners will win some really, really, REALLY cool stuff. Check it:

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This news will surprise no one who has been following the polls, but Justin Gosnell has won our third annual “Run MetalSucks for a Day” contest by an incredible landslide. He’ll run the site this coming Friday, September 23, all by himself, with no help from us!

We’d like to congratulate Justin and thank him/pity him in advance for doing our job for the day! YAY, JUSTIN!

Make sure you come back here this Friday to see what Justin cooks up for all the Suckalos…

-Axl & Vince

The above pic of loyal MS reader Matt Steele was taken in the pit of this week’s Big 4 show at Yankee Stadium immediately prior to Slayer’s set! Nice shirt, Matt. For your excellent choice in style and for showing off MetalSucks to 41,000 strong we’ll be rewarding you with with a box o’ goodies from the MS Mansion; CDs, posters, stickers and the like, and you will not be disappointed.

All MS readers are invited to don their MS merch in exchange for free metal goodies, just like Matt; simply send in a fun picture of yourself to news[at]metalsucks[dot]net as part of our ongoing Show Us Your MetalSucks contest. That’s the limited edition “Appetite for Deconstruction” shirt Matt is wearing, featuring animated versions of our own faces in the classic GN’R style. We’ve got several other designs in our standard line of MetalSucks shirts (and hoodie!) too. Don’t be the last person on your block without one; buy a MetalSucks t-shirt today!

Last week the Myelene Sheath bestowed upon us two prize packages from doom/sludgesters Beneath Oblivion to give away. And the winners are:

• Grand Prize, Chris Berseth: “Oh, I just can’t wait to be King…Diamond.”
• Runner Up, feegore: “Tune in to MTV for next week’s episode of Norwegian Shore…”

This week we’ve got something a little outside the realm of what we usually have for contests, but holy shit, it’s quite possibly the coolest / most fun thing we’ve ever given away here: the Helo TC, a remote-controlled helicopter you control with your iPhone! Griffin sent one of these bad boys over the Mansion for us to play with, and good God, things have never been the same; this thing fucking rules, and we’ve got two more just for you guys. Watch the trailer:

Pretty fucking cool, right? To win, leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by loyal reader Jake Haras). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect / Twitter etc).

Last week, we launched our third annual “Run MetalSucks for a Day” contest, in which we challenged you, our beloved readers, to tell us why we suck for a chance to take over the site on Friday, September 23. As always, we got some really funny answers, and now we’ve narrowed it down to six finalists. In alphabetical order, they are Blacky, The Flying Scotsman, Justin Gosnell, HessianHunter, Tim, and Vakarm.

What happens next is up to you guys! You can read all the finalists’ entries after the jump; then, anytime between now and  midnight EST on Friday, September 16, vote for who you think should take over MetalSucks for a day. We’ll announce the winner on Saturday, September 17, and then it’s up to that winner to, y’know, do our job for us for twenty-four hours.

Here’s the ballot and the finalists’ entries… good luck to you all!

-Axl & Vince

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We here at MetalSucks (and our advertising agency, the Blast Beat Network) would like to get to know a little bit more about you. Not in a creepy way, of course; all info submitted will be completely anonymous, and you will not be tracked in any way, shape or form whatsoever. We’re just hoping to learn more about our readers so we can attract advertisers that are more relevant to your interests, i.e. more video game ads and less annoying “Surveys4Income” ads. So we figured we’d put together a quick survey asking some basic questions: do you play an instrument? how do you download music? how often do you buy metal t-shirts? Etc. That kind of thing… no rocket surgery here.

Everyone who participates will be entered to win a prize pack including a one-year premium subscription to Spotify, a grab bag of metal CDs, a MetalSucks t-shirt and a MetalInjection t-shirt. The survey will only take 2-3 minutes to fill out. Again, your info will be recorded anonymously. And there are no wrong answers… so please be as honest as possible.

Take the survey here!

Last week we offered up another couple of one-month trial memberships for JamPlay.com, where you can take live, interactive video guitar lessons with an impressive array of players, many of them the wizards of metal we know and love: Tosin Abasi, Emil Werstler, Kris Norris, Dave Davidson, Doc Coyle and many more. Don’t worry if you didn’t win; you can still sign up here to get a free one-week trial courtesy of MetalSucks. Here are last week’s winners:

• Action_Jackson: “0 days since our last accident.”
• Matt S: “Business was never the same after the Metalcore supply store opened up across the street.”

That’s right — for the third year in a row, we are going to give one lucky (and talented) reader the chance to completely take over MetalSucks for the day! Whether you love MetalSucks or loathe MetalSucks, this is your chance to make the site everything you think it should be — even if for only twenty-four hours. We’ve had a lot of fun doing these in the past, and we’re always excited to see what the Temporary Editor-in-Chief comes up with.  So here’s how it works:

• TELL US WHY WE SUCK IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. Anytime between now and 8 a.m. EST this Monday, September 12, leave a comment below saying why MetalSucks, y’know, sucks. It can be as long or short as you want – it just has to be funny. And we mean actually funny — “U guyz r fags” is not funny and will not win. Axl and Vince will choose five to ten of their favorites to move onto round 2. Please note that YOU MUST REGISTER FOR THE COMMENTS WITH A REAL E-MAIL ADDRESS, as all finalists will be contacted by e-mail.
• VOTE FOR WHO YOU THINK SHOULD WIN. Those selected by Axl and Vince will then be announced later in the day on Monday, September 12, at which point you, the readers, will vote for your favorites. The poll will close at midnight EST on Friday, September 16, with the winner to be announced the following morning. And whomever wins gets to…
• TAKE OVER METALSUCKS ON FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23. All your stories must be turned in on Thursday, September 22 to be readied for publication. This is not because we want to look them over or edit them; on the contrary, we will be not be doing any editing or proofreading of any kind. You can say anything you want about anyone you want – you will be completely uncensored. You’ll need to provide the site slogan for that day. And if you want graphic(s) or video(s) to accompany a post, you will need to provide those, too.  We just need the stories handed in a day early so we can program them to publish the following day. That’s because, unfortunately, we can’t give you an administrative MetalSucks account, as that would allow you to delete previous posts, fuck up years of hard work, etc. But every story we run that day will be written by you, with your name on the byline. MetalSucks will be your site for one day. But there is one other catch:
• IF YOU WIN, YOU HAVE TO MEET YOUR DEADLINE. Failure to claim your prize or do your job as sole editor/blogger for the day will result in your name being published on your takeover day so all the world knows you were too lazy/pussy/whatever to follow through. And that will be the only story that runs that day. Also –
• THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE ARE INELIGIBLE TO WIN: Last year’s winner (in this case, Crack Hitler), anyone who is a writer for a blog or media outlet that we have linked to in the past, and anyone who has ever written or worked for MetalSucks in the past. Part of the point of this contest is to give a voice to the voiceless, so fair’s fair.

And that’s that.

Good luck, everyone. Now make us laugh.

-Axl & Vince

Last week we offered up two month-long trial memberships to video guitar lesson website JamPlay.com. The new Disqus commenting system on MS has made it extremely easy to sort through the best and funniest comments (not that winners are based totally on comment popularity, but it helps). Here are this week’s winners:

• Shaun Reeves: “Look mom! Oreo people!”
• Jim: “Wolfgang decides to stop riding his dad’s coattails and joins Immortal.”

You know him and you love him; Gus G., mastermind and guitarist of Greek metallers Firewind, who also happens to be the newest addition to the band of some guy named Ozzy. We’ve got a Gus G. ESP Gus-200 Signature Series guitar to give away to one lucky MetalSucks reader who comments with our favorite answer to the following question:

What’s your favorite Ozzy guitar solo of all time, and why?

Firewind will be on tour in North America with Arsis, White Wizzard and Nightrage this October. Get a full list of tour dates here.

That’s MS reader, Heavy Blog is Heavy contributor and self-described “fat english guy” Damien Leech. Behind him, at the London Science Museum, that’s the preserved brain of the father of computing, Charles Babbage (!). And, of course, that’s a “Sergeant D” model MetalSucks t-shirt Damien is wearing. For his fine sense in fashion, Damien will receive a box o’ metal goodies courtesy ol’ Uncles Vince and Axl. You can receive the same by donning your MS merch and sending in a fun picture of yourself to news[at]metalsucks[dot]net as part of our ongoing Show Us Your MetalSucks contest.

In addition to our standard line of MetalSucks shirts (and hoodie!) we’ve still got a few left of our limited edition “Appetite for Deconstruction” shirts featuring animated versions of our own faces (we’re modest). So get on it.

More pics of the Babbage brain after the jump:

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Earlier this month, as part of our sponsorship of this year’s Summer Slaughter tour, we announced that we had two ESP guitars to give away, both signed by all the members of co-headliners The Black Dahlia Murder and Whitechapel. We asked MetalSucks readers the following question: “Which Black Dahlia Murder or Whitechapel song is the anthem for your summer?” Congrats to MS readers Diego Aguilar and Anthony Arellano for providing our favorite answers and netting themselves a sweet guitar in the process. Their answers, after the jump.

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Last week we gave away a copy of the book Mean Deviation, an awesome history lesson in the four decades of progressive heavy metal. And the winner is:

• Chief: “Countdown to Expulsion.”