Dear Killswitch Engage,

I was very happy to hear that Jesse Leach has re-joined the band. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to Howard Jones. I think HJ is a great vocalist and a great performer, and I love The End of Heartache. But I don’t think it’s any secret that you fellas needed some kind of creative kick in the pants. And Leach did an amazing job when he played with you back in 2010, and Alive or Just Breathing is a bonda fide modern classic. If you weren’t going to be able to move forward with Howard Jones, then, really, getting Leach back was the only move that made any real sense. So, mazel tov! I am officially excited to hear your new album and see you dudes live again.

Now, if I may be so bold, a humble request to keep in mind while moving forward: please don’t let your reunion album sound like Times of Grace.

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If you’re a fledgling metal band trying to break into the big time, allowing a movie to be made about your struggles is probably a bad idea.

Remember Acrassicauda? The heavily persecuted Iraqi band pulled on the heart strings of the entire metal world in 2007, and the folks at Vice felt so moved by the band’s plight that they decided to make a documentary about them, Heavy Metal in Baghdad. With Vice’s help, the band finally arrived in the U.S. in 2009, began playing shows, touring, and eventually released a record. It was a great story, a triumph for heavy metal and personal freedoms that surely warmed the hearts of even the most jaded grinches (us included). But where are they now? Once the PR buzz and good will of the film wore off, Acrassicauda were left to make it on their own in an extremely competitive metal marketplace, back to square one (although admittedly way better off in their lives). We haven’t heard very much about them since.

Of course you all know about Anvil, a band whose Real Life Spinal Tap-like film was so touching that its tentacles reached far beyond the metal world and catapulted the band into the international spotlight. But… where are they now?

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I remember when Mick Jagger was about to turn fifty, The New York Times did this whole big piece about it, like it was some kind of giant cultural happening. Even having grown up around The Rolling Stones’ music and being a fan, I didn’t really see what the big deal was, but my folks certainly seemed to have a “Hol-ee shit really?” kind of reaction.

Cut ahead almost twenty years, and Axl Rose turns fifty today, and suddenly I understand how my parents felt. Fifty is old. Not old enough to get ready for death or anything, but, y’know, definitely not young. It’s just hard to wrap your head around the fact that the dude who once sang “Old at heart, but I’m only 28″ is now fifty, y’know?

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There are certain things that you just never hear anyone say; I’ve never met someone who’s stoked on the new Nickelback, never heard anyone say they want to use Papyrus as their default font (Lamb of God not withstanding), never heard anyone say they miss dial-up modems… and I’ve never met anyone cop to being a fan of Korpiklaani. Nothing against the band; just an observation!

Korpiklaani aren’t bad by any means — I guess they’re pretty good at what they do? — but they were one of many bands who were hyped up to be way bigger than they ever should’ve been during The Great Pagan/Folk Metal Explosion of 2008 (“TGPFME2008,” for short). They’re perpetually one of those bands who are kind of just “there” on a tour lineup; like, you don’t mind seeing them if they’re on a bill, but you’d never go out of your way just to catch a Korpiklaani show. And while I’ve met people who are legitimately stoked on new Eluveitie (for example: me), new Turisas or new Ensiferum music, I have never in my life encountered an honest-to-goodness die-hard Korpiklaani fan. Although I have a feeling I’m about to encounter a few in the comments section.

Anyway, there’s a new Korpiklaani song called “Metsälle” that was originally recorded for the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest and will be appearing on the band’s forthcoming album… so get psyched! Or don’t.

-VN

Earlier this month I recounted a humorous tale of my namesake getting stuck with jury duty, and revealed my own plans to avoid such a horrid fate this very week: I was going to wear a disgusting death metal shirt to jury selection. My thought process being that no lawyer would ever see a scumbag in such a shirt and want said scumbag on his or her jury. And even after Vince pointed out a flaw in my plan — “What if the defense attorney thinks you’ll be sympathetic to his client?” — I decided to stick with it, ’cause I assumed that if a defense attorney did make that assumption, so would the prosecutor, who would consequently have me dismissed.

So yesterday morning, I woke up, and did not shower, and did not shave, and did not brush my hair, and basically tried to look as gnarly as possible, and then I showed up for jury duty wearing this:

Now, I know it’s not the most offensive shirt ever, but keep in mind that this Hate Eternal tee is only not offensive relative to other metal tees. I didn’t think there was any way the norms would look at a demon palming Jesus’ skull and crushing it and think, “Gosh, he seems like a swell fellow.”

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Lots of people seem really stoked on Christian Mistress. I’ve listened to their new album Possession and I think it’s pretty good. Retro NWOBHM is all the rage these days, and these guys (and gal) do a fine job at it — good riffs, good songs, all around pretty solid.

But it never ceases to amaze me how the hipster propaganda machine works, taking ordinary to decent bands and revving them up into a dizzying whirlwind of hype.

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Chino Moreno has always been one to extend his vocal talents far beyond the screaming, crooning and jumping around like a madman in high socks that he’s best known for as the frontman of Deftones. See his work with Team Sleep and Crosses, his guest appearances with Soulfly, Sevendust, Whitechapel, Korn, Norma Jean and many many more for proof that Chino’s ambition — and talent — runs deep.

The latest artist to receive the gift of Chino’s purdy voice is Anthony Green, best known as the heart-throbby lead singer of proggy alt-rockers Circa Survive, who will release his second solo record Beautiful Things on January 17th via Photo Finish. Anthony Green’s new song “Right Outside” has Chino all over it — it’s practically a duet — and the harmonies and vocal interplay are gorgeous, a whole different of Chino you’re probably not accustomed to hearing. Stream “Right Outside” at Rolling Stone, then come back here and tell us what you think.

-VN

[UPDATE, 1:50pm EST: Low res version of the cover artwork for Eclipse is posted below (Thanks: Jeffrey F.) - Ed.]

Seems like Rob at Metal Injection has caught the entire Metalnets napping by reporting the already two day-old news that Veil of Maya’s third album, Eclipse, will be released on February 28th. How did we all miss the news that one of Sumerian’s biggest non-sucky bands (read: non-Asking Alexandria) is releasing a new album only 6 weeks from now? I’m not sure, but, welp, there it is! The news was announced on Monday via a press release that focused more on VoM’s upcoming tour with In Flames than the new album — hence having glossed over it — which strikes me as a little odd… as does the 6-week release window, which is very short compared to most album marketing plans. But again, there it is. New Veil of Maya on February 28th!

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Oh, Lars Ulrich, when will you ever learn? Metallica’s drummer has a special talent for saying things that a) make no sense and b) will almost certainly piss off fans, if not the moment he says them, than sometime in the future, when they turn out to be not at all true.

His latest verbal faux pas comes via an interview with Rolling Stone, in which he discusses the next Metallica album. Here’s the full quote, with my analysis to follow:

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Yesterday we ran a very silly post in which we hypothesized about possible new vocalists for Killswitch Engage, except that the majority of candidates we named are not realistic possibilites (more on that in a second). I know that there are people who were bummed that we didn’t consider more realistic potentialities, but there was a reason we didn’t do that — it seems to us that Jesse Leach is really the only man for this job. (And, yes, we know that Leach just told fans via Facebook that “If I have something to say, I WILL say it. For the moment I have no comments on KSE.” But what do you expect him to say?)

Leach isn’t just the obvious choice — he’s really the best choice. Because his voice is still in great shape; because he’s a great performer; and because in 2012, we’d like to think that bands have learned from the Gary Cherones, Blaze Bayleys, and Dan Nelsons of the world. Being the third singer for a really famous band is a thankless task, even if you’re really talented. Tommy Vext, for example, is a great vocalist — but if he really did join KsE, he would face a momentous uphill battle to be accepted by fans and come out from under the shadow of Leach and Jones. And history teaches us that he — or any other singer, for that matter — probably would not win that battle.

So. This message on Killswitch’s official website certainly caught me by surprise…

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With a new Van Halen single set to be released tomorrow, it seems like a good time to look back at the only two original songs the band recorded with David Lee Roth since 1984, “Me Wise Magic” and “Can’t Get This Stuff No More,” both of which appeared on 1996′s Best of Van Halen Volume 1 and thereafter caused the DLR/VH relationship to spontaneously combust. At the time, critics and fans alike questioned the band’s motives for the “Volume 1″ suffix, and we were kinda right to do so, weren’t we? Since then Warner Bros. and its affiliate labels have pushed out no fewer than 7 other different greatest hits / best of comps, but none of them have had any new songs; go figure.

So what of those two “new” songs from ’96? Axl already opined on them drawing the wrath of many an MS reader; Anso hasn’t told me what he thinks of them but he loves all VH unconditionally like his first teddy bear, so, ya know. Moi?

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For the young ‘uns that don’t remember, Blood Has Been Shed is the way killer turn-of-the-century metalcore band that Howard Jones and Justin Foley were in before they signed Killswitch Enage. It’s true! I swear it! These dudes were really real people even before KsE ever came along.

Blood Has Been Shed are also a band that a lot of people — like me! — have been waiting for a reunion from since, like, forever. Or at least 2009, when BHBS guitarist Corey Unger said that “I have been working on the new album,” which led many of us to believe that he was probably, y’know, working on a new album.

So naturally, when Vince and I interviewed KsE bassist Mike D’Antonio  Mr. Jones later that same year, we asked the vocalist about it. I’ve re-printed this quote about a bajillion times now, but it’s never not-relevant to the discussion of a possible BHBS reunion, so here it is again:

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I’ve been meaning to write about Skull Fist for a while. Vince mentioned them awhile back, and they made Bob Cock’s 2011 year-end list, but I think they deserve a whole article all to themselves. So here we go!

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UPDATED:

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Ten years ago today Death mastermind Chuck Schuldiner died of a brain tumor. It’d be hard to argue that Schuldiner didn’t have a massive influence upon all the metal that followed after Death; while Death may not have ever achieved close to the mainstream metal notoriety that Metallica and Pantera did, I can’t think of any single other band that had such a huge impact upon everything that followed.

To commemorate the tenth anniversary of Schuldiner’s passing, NPR metal king Lars Gotrich collected eleven metal musicians and asked them to write about their favorite Death song and what it means to them. Among the musicians that penned brief pieces for NPR are three former members of Death (Paul Masvidal, Gene Hoglan and Richard Christy) along with members of Baroness, East of the Wall, Revocation and more. They’ve included streaming audio of their song picks, too; Death is definitely going to be soundtrack this afternoon.

Check out the Relapse Records webshop for all things Death.

-VN

I am a goofy stats and numbers geek and have been ever since I was a kid, starting when I created my own NFL board game using an NFL Strategy football field and hundreds of 1974 Topps Football cards with plays printed on the back.

Yesterday, I was reading the comments in the compilation of our Year End Top 15 lists and stumbled across “You”‘s request that someone should tabulate and collate our lists. This, of course, appealed to the stat geek in me.

In addition, another reader named “Agschwarzer” created the internet meme you see up top.

So, I was curious. What did the writers at MetalSucks like the most in 2011 and, more importantly, did we completely ignore Mastodon?

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photo by Metal Chris from DCHeavyMetal.com

It’s no secret that this guy gets down with reality tv from time to time.  Some of those shows are so intriguing, so trashy, so entertaining…..and some are just terrible.

VH1 crapfest Why Am I Still Single?! falls in the latter category, pitting a subpar alpha female matchmaker named Siggy & her lame team of “experts” (save for the twin blonde vanities…..twins, Max — boioing!) against New York City’s most socially inept daters.  I gave up on this show early on, but couldn’t help but be intrigued when ads for a recent episode boasted that one dater (contestant? victim? social pariah? what do you even call folks who go on these shows anymore???) was a heavy metal dude looking for love.

Well it turns out that dude is Bröhammer guitarist James Danzo and despite the consensus on the show that he’s a great guy, this earnest yet slightly rough-around-the-edges axe-slinger still gets predictably put through the ringer by the matchmaker’s crack(head) team.  Watch as James is reprimanded for his awful table manners by Siggy and her “expert etiquette coach Patricia” and given a new haircut by the buxom style twins….

I have it on good authority that going on reality tv yielded positive results for ol’ James — our boy has learned aplenty and can hopefully turn his newfound recognizability into dating gold.

And his band rocks!  Check them out on TheirSpace.  The bassist is a close personal bröbröcop who I’m told is hung like a donkey.

Bröhammer plays Brooklyn’s most metal venue Saint Vitus Bar tomorrow night (Friday 12/9) w/Mortician, Legionary, Blessed Ofal, and DeMilitiA….

-KW

I woke up this morning to a seemingly endless number of headlines announcing that Guns N’ Roses have, indeed, been voted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, and I’m as baffled by all the excitement now as I was when the band first became eligible for induction.

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The cause of death of Gwar guitarist Cory Smoot has been released, and it’s not what you might have thought. According to North Dakota coroner William Masselo, MD, who performed the autopsy, there was no foul play or drugs involved, which must be something of a sigh of relief to Smoot’s family. The cause  of death was a simple case of bad genetics. From a press release issued by the Gwar camp and Smoot’s family:

We have finalized the autopsy report and death certificate. I have determined that Cory died from a coronary artery thrombosis brought about by his pre-existing coronary artery disease.

Those interested in learning more about coronary artery disease can do so here.

The Smoot Family Fund is accepting donations to help with the living expenses of Cory’s wife Jamie and their unborn child, and those in the Richmond, VA can attend a memorial show on January 7th, the proceeds of which will be donated to the Family Fund.

-VN

Someone sent us the above via Twitter, but I already forget the guy’s handle. Sorry, dude!

In October, Axl Rose added “Estranged” back into Guns N’ Roses’ regular setlist for the first time since 1993. Even though everyone makes fun of that song’s ridiculous music video, it was a smart move — at the GN’R show in New Jersey I attended last month, the song got a roar of approval from the crowd the moment the band played it. Axl’s Nu-GN’R has mostly ignored the Use Your Illusion era for the past decade, which is foolish, because while the critics may not love those albums, they sold seven million copies each. People wanna hear those songs.

And Rose must get it; that same night I saw him Jersey, he also performed “Don’t Cry,” which he hasn’t done in awhile, and now, this past weekend, he suddenly broke out “Civil War,” too. You can check out video below; the band actually sounds pretty good, even if, Jesus H. Christ, something really does need to be done about Dj Slashba (note the unlit cigarette dangling from his lips).

Interestingly enough, Slash has been doing “Civil War” with his solo band (Myles Kennedy + a bunch of random dudes) since last year. By way of comparison, you can check out his Gun Without Rose version after the jump.

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