MetalSucks

Ddddddaaaaaammmmmnnnnn!!!!

-AR

Thanks to UN_0P_P0_SED for the tip!

If you read this site regularly, then you’re probably aware that we are constantly confused by the difference between wigger slam and deathcore. Even after our own Satan Rosenbloom explained it to me and I spent time listening to bands that Metal Inquistion’s Sergeant D and Decibel agree are slam bands, I still can’t really tell the difference. At the risk of sounding like my old man, I really just can’t hear much difference between Devourment and Oceano. Sorry.

Luckily, the aforementioned Sergeant D – pretty much metal’s leading authority on wigger slam – has discovered a joke slam band band, Slamburglars, and in a Metal Inquisition interview, we get both name dropped and educated in the differences between the two genres:

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This video of Rhett Butler covering Joe Satriani is pretty f’n mindblowing. The guy is so dextrous and precise that he can tap out leads with both hands at the same time… how does he do that? In some respect I guess it’s not all that different than what a piano player does, but it’s still really fucking cool.

-VN

[Apologies for not crediting whoever sent this in... it's not personal, I just can't find the email.]

When we were in high school, Vince played guitar for a band called Steel Breeze. Yeah, I dunno what the name means either, but they were pretty good, all things considered. Anyways, I mention it not to embarrass Vince (that’s just a bonus!), but because they used to cover the theme music from Super Mario Bros.  And these dudes had the same idea, I guess.

I have no idea why it says System of a Down in the background. Do the mustaches strike the creators of this video as being particularly Armenian or something?

Two quick random thoughts about Mario Bros., while we’re on the topic:

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Aside from the obvious hot-chicks-playing-metal appeal of this video, these ladies fucking nail it, no?

]Thanks: Kyle]

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into tracking and recording a metal record, take a look at this in-depth, behind-the-scenes studio footage of producer Jochem Jacobs walking the viewer through the Textures song “Awake,” track by track. Even the most bare-bones recordings these days tend to have multiple layers of guitar and vocal tracks, but if you’ve heard Textures’ sonically dense album Silhouettes then you already know the next level to which these Dutchmen take their recording technique. The production on Silhouettes is positively stellar, far and away one of the best recorded and produced records of 2008.

In the below video, Jacobs walks the viewer through the different sections of the song, then through the multiple layers of tracks in each, isolating a number of different parts individually and together in different combinations so you can hear precisely what was recorded. It’s a fascinating look into production and recording technique; watch the clip below, then watch the rest at FaceCulture.com. Thanks to Jesse Z. for sending this in.

-VN

This morning, I received the following e-mail from reader Parker Werley:

“How does a band get to earn the proud badge of having -core in their genre?”

That’s a pretty simple question, but it’s also kind of thought provoking. So I thought maybe we could explore it here a little bit. Because, honestly, I’m not sure that I know what the answer is.

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It’s a well known fact that Weezer mastermind River Cuomo is a metalhead (see ridiculous photo above). But I’ve read numerous interviews with the guy over the years where he promised (or threatened, depending on your point of view) to a metal album – even going so far as to claim that Maladroit was Weezer’s metal album – and the thing never seems to materialize.

Well, as it turns out, Weezer might have already made their contribution to metal, and I just wasn’t paying very close attention. SMN News pointed us to this interview with Weezer mastermind River Cuomo, in which he admits to biting off Metallica:

“‘The Sweater Song’ was the first Weezer song I ever wrote, back in 1991… I was trying to write a Velvet Underground-type song because I was super into them, and I came up with that guitar riff… It wasn’t until years after I wrote it that I realized it’s almost a complete rip-off of ‘Sanitarium’ by Metallica. It just perfectly encapsulates Weezer to me — you’re trying to be cool like Velvet Underground but your metal roots just pump through unconsciously.”

Oddly enough, I’d never really noticed the similarities between the two songs in the past. Hm.

Check out both songs after the jump and decide for yourself whether or not Cuomo really owes Metallica a royalty check or ten.

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Not necessarily metal, but the musicians amongst the MS faithful (which, thanks to Eyal’s post, we know to be many of you) should find this link to be really, really, really cool.

-VN

I’ve really been enjoying Frank Godla’s “Frank’s Favorite Drummers” series on Metal Injection over the past few weeks; I’ve gotten to see live footage of some of my own favorite drummers and I’ve also learned about incredibly skilled skinsmen I’d never heard of before. Today’s entry focuses on Kenneth Schalk of Candiria, a man who proves that you really only need a 4-piece kit to kick fucking ass on the drums. Mike Portnoy’s 10,765-piece monster? Psssshhh.

-VN

Have you ever listened to Tool? Have you ever listened to Tool… on weed??? Have you ever listened to Tool played on a piano by one man… on weed???

This is pretty fucking incredible. The fact that composer Adam Monroe was able to create a piano rendition of “Lateralus” is pretty impressive. That his version doesn’t just ape the original but includes a whole lot of his own flair is really fucking impressive. And the fact that he sings on top of it and nails the performance of this epic song is just… wow. I really can’t fathom how he stays on top of three different rhythms and melody lines all at once — left hand, right hand, vocals. This is no small feat given Tool’s penchant for having each instrument do its own thing, only each guy in Tool only has to focus on his own part while this guy is doing everything at once. You know those crazy buskers you see on the street sometimes who play drums with their feet, sing, and play two different instruments with their hands? It’s like that. Unbelievable.

-VN

Did you know that MetalSucks’ very own Satan Rosenbloom runs his own blog, Cerebral Metalhead, where he writes under the ridiculous pseudonym “Etan?” It’s true. And he’s just alerted us to the fact that there’s going to be a black metal symposium, in which some intellectual types present papers – PAPERS! – on the topic of (duh) black metal. Says Satan:

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I picked up my copy of The New York Times this morning – yes, I still sometimes read a physical newspaper, ’cause I’m a dick like that – and was more than a little surprised to see Tom Araya’s photo alongside that of some distinctly non-metal performers on the front page of the arts section. Intrigued, I read the following:

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Dan Rodriguez at Metal Insider reports that Dream Theater keyboardist Jordan Rudess has released a $9.99 iPhone app with his sequencer, the JR Hexatone Pro. I’m gonna re-print the press release verbatim after the jump, ’cause to paraphrase Tracey Morgan on 30 Rock, I don’t understand about half the words they just said.

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This is one of the cooler DIY videos I’ve seen in a long time. The band is Baring Teeth, and they gots chops up the wazoo. I had never heard of them before, but guitarist Andrew Harkins sent in the link to this video and I clicked (see? we do read your emails / listen to your bands’ music). Lo and behold… shred! This rules.

-VN

While keeping fans on the line for the follow-up to 2007’s ridiculously underrated Riders of the Plague, The Absence are throwing fans a bone by teaming up with Ultimate-Guitar.com to offer one would-be shredder the opportunity to have a guest solo on the band’s new record. Entrants can download a rhythm guitar track from the contest page, add their shred over top of it, then submit it to the band as a YouTube video via Ultimate-Guitar.com. The winner gets “a chance” to have the solo included on the new record (which we’re guessing is just an insurance policy in case all the entries suck), and a slew of runners-up will receive an autographed CD, t-shirt, stickers and “other,” whatever that means.

The 15-year-old version of Vince Neilstein just got a giant boner; what a cool thing for the band to do. I wish the Intrawebs were around when I was a kid! Instead I had to settle for listening to 1984 and No More Tears on repeat whilst posing in front of the mirror and pretending to be EVH / Zakk Wylde. I had a helluva Zakk Wylde impression though; you shoulda seen it.

Check out The Absence on MySpace.

-VN

Totally metal. Any questions? Didn’t think so.

-VN

DBR’s ace comment on our 19th Best Metal Album of the 21st Century… So Far (Mastodon’s Remission, for those keeping score at home) made me chuckle:

I remember hearing “March of the Fire Ants” for the first time on a Headbanger’s Ball compilation when I was a teenager and even though it took me a while to realize I actually liked it, that riff would get stuck in my head for days.

deedily deedily doo, deedily deedily doo, etc.

Deedily deedily doo; dead on, amirite???

It also got me thinkin’. What other metal onomatopoeias are there that are absolutely instantly recognizable? Aside from the obvious classics (”Smoke on the Water,” “Iron Man,” etc). So let’s play a little game here. Post your phonetic representation of a metal riff as a comment but do NOT post the name of the band or song — then let other commenters guess what song it is in the replies to that specific comment (yay threaded comments!). Go!

-VN

I learned something this weekend: MetalGF loves Queensryche. This was just as much of a surprise to her as it was to me, but hey, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to my girlfriend liking any sort of metal. It started with a sweet flea market find of a vintage Queensryche “Building Empires” 1991 Tour t-shirt (I was fucking PSYCHED to find this!), which worsened the itch I’ve been feeling since Kobra Kai covered “Eyes of a Stranger” at New England Metalfest. The shirt find led to an afternoon listening session of Queensryche’s greatest hits from the Operation Mindcrime and Empire albums, which MetalGF seemed to highly dig (”This isn’t metal, it’s more like rock.”) Later that night after several whiskeys in the oh-so-metal environs of Park Slope, we had a rousing way-too-loud-for-2am air guitar session to the very same impromptu greatest hits assortment. There were fists in the air, epic poses, head-banging, the whole 9. Sunday morning wasn’t pretty.

Queensryche is on tour in the U.S. right now and are actually playing NYC this Friday. I can’t go, which is a major bummer because I haven’t seen them live in probably 5 or 6 years. But here’s a video of them performing the forgotten gem “Hand on Heart” live in Kansas City a few weeks ago. This song made for some epic, epic air-guitar on Saturday night!

-VN

Sure, we all know that it’s totally shweet to play the drums really fast, but my man Bernard “Pretty” Purdie clearly proves that groove need not rush itself:

After the jump, Purdie hocks a loogi and ’splains’ a thing or two more, all whilst wearing a pink polo shirt.

Metal.

-KW

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