I am an ignorant slut.

Even though both Ryan Butler and Matt Martinez from Landmine Marathon put Vastum’s Carnal Law on their 2011 year-end lists, and even though MetalSucks’ own Satan Rosenbloom was strongly considering the album for his own list, and even though Corey Mitchell… well, actually, Corey thought it was “meh.” But he “almost thought” it was good, so that’s something!

And yet, I never checked out Carnal Law until this afternoon, when Brad Fickeisen, former drummer for The Red Chord, recommended it to me via Twitter.

For shame, Axl. For shame. Carnal Law is ugly, raw death metal, but what sets it apart is the pace and the quality of the riffs. Everything — including the guitar solos, which are never unstructured King/Hanneman stuff — is catchy as hell, and played at a… well, maybe not quite an elephants marching speed, but certainly an elephants galloping speed. The combination of these two elements pretty much ensures that, yes, you will be bouncing your head in time with the music. Seriously. Don’t try to fight it — you’ll lose.

Vastum’s Carnal Law is out now on 20 Buck Spin. You can stream and/or purchase the entire thing here. The cost of legally downloading the album is $6.66, which should really be the cost of all heavy metal mp3 downloads from now on.

In the event you’re too lazy to click a fucking link, here’s “Devoid,” the track which Brad recommended, and which sold me on the whole thing in the first place.

Also, if you’re not already, you should be following Brad Fickeisen on Twitter.

-AR

Two years ago, I wrote about an Indian death metal band called Demonic Resurrection, and, uhh… I think that’s the last time I ever wrote about Indian metal. But reader Nikhil Pradhan recently recommended some more Indian bands to me via my Facebook page, so I thought I’d give ‘em a listen and see if any of them are cool.

As I’ve generally done with these regional Reader’s Choice columns, I’m not listening to any of the bands in advance of writing this — I’m going to listen as I type up the column, so you’ll get my thoughts in something resembling real time.

And on that note, let’s take a trip now to a magical land of mystique and wonder and cows — India.

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“Put down your drumsticks. We’re taking a picture.”
“But what will I do with my hands?”
“Just figure something out!”

A reader named Josh directed us towards “Yiddish Metal Pioneers,” Gevolt. And while the idea of metal performed in a very funny-sounding language that I grew up around is of great appeal to me (At last, the Jews shall have an answer to Rammstein!!!), this Israeli outfit is not very good.

The problem is that Gevolt can’t decide if they wanna be a late twentieth-century nu-metal band or an early twenty-first century metalcore band, but they don’t really do either very well so it basically doesn’t matter. To be fair, they’re not, like, Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe bad, but, uh… well watch this video and see for yourself:

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If you don’t know Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, they’re this supergroup that played punk versions of non-punk songs — usually songs that you wouldn’t ever in a million years consider for punk covers, like “Mandy” and “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” I knew a dude who was way, way into them, but the appeal was always lost on me. ‘Cause the band didn’t really do anything but take non-punk songs and play them fast. That was the group’s whole “unique spin” on the original material. As an intellectual exercise, that might be kinda interesting — ’cause it proves that great hooks are great hooks, period – but as an ongoing musical endeavor, I find it pretty boring.

Now the reader known as “devin townsend’s lost skullet” has alerted us to the existence of Necrocomiccon (Facebook, Bandcamp) a band featuring Bill Henderson (ex-Thursday) that basically does the same exact thing as Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, only with black metal instead of punk. And, as is the case with Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, the appeal is pretty much lost on me.

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From: tom tucker
Subject: Awsome band from my school like heavier Slipknot! Music video! U have 2 see it!
Date: January 5, 2012 2:34:48 AM EST
To: news

Some older kids from my schol are in a band and they made a music video fro there best song! You guy shouls chek it out andpromote them because their great and will take the world by strom! If u want 2 know, they are heavy metal like slipKnot but are heavier and scream low so I think their very metal so would be good on youre site! plz at least watch and youll see that u should show people about htem.

I think if u say good things then other ppl will know them and they will get sucess. plz do this we will all be all happy!

photo by Kathleen Weishaar

Yes, it is indeed time for another edition of “Readers’ Choice Randoms,” in which I attempt to clear some space in my inbox by listening to a few random bands suggested by you, our beloved and most valued readers. So take my hand and join me on this fantastic adventure, won’t you?

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Reader Steve Bergquist has been bugging us about And So I Watch You From Afar for a couple months, and now I understand why: they rule. Don’t let the awkward band name fool you.

And So I Watch You From Afar are tough to classify, so I’ll roll with Steve’s description: “heavy instrumental rock with proggy shred riffs, punk balls, and post-rock atmosphere.” There’s also an ambient/atmospheric quality to the guitars that puts these guys in the same head-trippy category as bands like Russian Circles, Constants and Junius. They know when to be heavy and they know when to lay back and sit deep in the pocket; best of all they just know how to write good tunes.

Their new album Gangs is posted on Bandcamp; it’s free to stream (which you can also do using the widget below) and only €4.00 (about $6.00) to download. Get on it.

-VN

Yes yes y’all, it’s time for another round of bands that various readers have sent us. Today’s theme, which I chose for no reason other than my own amusement, is bands with really ridiculous names, even by ridiculous metal band name standards. And, hey, guess what? Two of ‘em are actually pretty good! Crazy, right?

Join me on this magical musical adventure, won’t you?

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So on Monday I said I was gonna try and catch up with some of the reader suggestions you fine folks have been sending us, and then yesterday I didn’t get to do one because there was, like, actual news to write about. But now we get back down to the business of listening to music that you guys swear up and down is awesome!

And so, once upon (really in the last week or so) in galaxy far, far away (really just this galaxy)…

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We got a whole mess o’ reader suggestions while I was away, so over the course of the next few days, I’m gonna try and do some catching up. There’s no real theme to these editions of “Reader’s Choice,” beyond the fact that all the bands were, y’know, chosen by readers.

And so…

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A reader whose name I won’t publish in order to spare him some embarrassment e-mailed me this morning with the subject line “Jazara,” a link to this stream on The Gauntlet, and a demand that I “Tell people this exists.” Kinda rude, but whatever. The band is called Janaza, not “Jazara,” so I have to assume the reader is either a small child or a mental midget, because how could anyone be so forcefully passionate about a band whose name they don’t even know? (And don’t say “It could be a typo,” either. The letter “n” and the letter “r” are nowhere near one another on the keyboard.) Either way, no reason to take his blunt tone personally.

ANYWAY, Janaza is, according to the aforementioned Gauntlet, an “anti-Islamic black metal band fronted by a female in Iraq,” known only as “Anahita.” Anahita has to keep her identity a secret, of course, because if found out, her life would be in serious danger. That’s certainly unique to metal (as The Gauntlet points out, even the dudes in Acrassicauda, who certainly overcame their own very intense struggle, at least had the support of one another, whereas Anahita seems to be flying solo), and it makes me wish I could understand the lyrics. It also makes me wish I liked the music, but, hey, you can’t win ‘em all.

But you should check out the stream here and see what you think… actually, I’ll be curious to see what kind of reaction this gets. I’ll also be keeping my fingers crossed that Anahita doesn’t turn out to be a forty-year old American man from Georgia, but that’s another issue altogether.

-AR

I don’t think he leaves comments around here all that often anymore, probably because you guys are so charming, but the MetalSucks Maniac known simply as “Sammy” might actually be our longest-running reader who isn’t related to us. Dude was leaving comments here back when when we like all of ten people we didn’t know were actually visiting the site.

So when Sammy sends me an e-mail asking me to check out a band, I check out that band. Motherfucker has earned the right to the go to the front of the line.

Alas, Sammy’s most recent recommendation, His Name Was Iron, is, in my opinion at least, kinda stinky.

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Thanks to reader Ryan Durinick for sending in two songs by Powerwolf, a band that’s “extremely popular in Europe and are touring a shitload of cities with names that have triple vowels and O’s with crosses through them.” Based on that description and the band name alone I’d wager that Powerwolf play epic metal, and I’d be right; I’ll also add that they’ve got a serious boner for Iron Maiden but their music sports modern production. I’m definitely digging these tunes. Thanks, Ryan!

Now, about that video of a naked fat chick on PCP terrorizing someone’s street (as well as another Powerwolf song):

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Reader David Fetterley suggested we check out Sweden’s Plector, and while I find the music to be serviceable-if-not-great, I did enjoy their video for the track “Alcoholic Refuge.” It’s yet another example of what can be achieved when someone just puts some thought and effort into the creation of the clip, as opposed to just releasing another boring performance video, or completely failing to find an interesting way to shoot or edit the footage. Check it out:

Plector’s self-released Dark & Spiteful is available now on Amazon.

-AR

Swedish reader Tom Lindén (who has made some cool artwork, which you can check out here) e-mailed us to recommend that we check out Yersinia, who he described as “a quite unknown Swedish band” that are “beyond awesome and definitely my favorite upcoming Swedish band.”

Now, it’s no secret that I’ve felt pretty let down by Sweden as of late. I mean, some of the already-established bands are still doing cool stuff, but I haven’t heard a new Swedish band I’ve enjoyed in what seems like forever. Why, just this morning, I was reading about this melodeath band from Gothenburg (They have melodeath bands in Gothenburg?!?!) called Deals Death on No Clean Singing, and since I like NCS, I was  really optimistic that they had found something to restore my faith in that once-great metallic nation. But, no, Deals Death is just another re-Swede band — basically Omnium Gatherum with a singer who looks like he belongs in Manowar. Just what the world needed.

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Longtime MS reader Steve Berquist chimed in recently with an email about Japanese band Maximum The Hormone, whose name alone is enough to elicit a “what the fuck?” from every corner of any room. But Steve was right on the money with this one. Here’s his description of the band:

Maximum the Hormone are a Japanese hard rock/metal band that have been around since the late 90’s. Their music is mainly nu-metal with J-pop choruses, and some skate punk and Andrew W.K. party-rock thrown in. All those elements seem like they should be fucking terrible, particularly when mixed together. However, I can’t stop listening to the stuff. It really, genuinely rocks hard. The riffs are great, all three vocalists are sweet, and the compositions are impeccable.

I was quite skeptical at first, but the video for “Bikini Sports Ponchin” (???), above, totally sold me. The visuals are, uh, interesting, and now the damn song is stuck in my head. It sure isn’t ground-breaking or tr00 or br00tal or whathaveyou, but it is well-played and especially damn catchy, and that I can respect.

More crazy Maximum the Hormone music recommended by Steve after the jump:

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So demandeth MS band-suggester Dan Wolfson, who first alerted us to Wormed back in August of last year. Back then I was inclined to agree with Dan that Wormed are “the most brutal and fucked up band ever,” and listening to Wormed now for the first time since then, I’m once again on board the Wormed train. Dan sent in the above track, “Tunnel of Ions.” Brutal and fucked up indeed.

-VN

Probably not the same guy.

Reader Brian Twombly e-mailed us about “three bands you seriously need to hear,” and said it “pains me” that we’ve never talked about said bands before.

Okay, Brian. Your wish is our command. Bring it, sucka.

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Thrilled to see Last Chance to Reason getting some recognition, reader Kyle Bragg has now sent us some other metal bands from Maine, in hopes that the state “will start to be recognized for things other than lobsters, blueberries, and being confused as part of Canada.” I dunno, Kyle — your lobsters are fucking delicious! I could eat five right now, no problem.

But okay, okay, we’ll give this a shot. Let’s see if any of the bands Kyle suggested can, indeed, make me forget about lobster.

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Reader Sam Britch wrote us a very nice e-mail asking us to give some exposure to some Alaskan bands. I only know two Alaskan metal bands off the top of my very pot-filled head, Turbid North and 36 Crazyfists, but those bands are both okay by me, so… yeah, let’s do this thing.

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