Archive for the ‘The Webernets’ Category

VAGINOPLASTY – NO, NOT A PORNOGRIND BAND

Friday, November 20th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

marissamartinez

Decibel have followed-up on their fascinating 2008 article on the transformation of Cretin’s Dan Martinez into Marissa Martinez with an interview with Martinez chronicling her vaginoplasty. Which is exactly what you think it is. Here’s an excerpt:

Click to read more…

SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS…

Thursday, November 19th, 2009 at 12:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

…we totally didn’t get to help promote Reign in Blonde’s Hottest Chicks in Metal Bracket on Tuesday ’cause some dude named Devin Townsend took over our site for the day (the big jerk!). But  Vince, Gary Suarez, and myself (plus a bunch of other cool people) all participated, so you should definitely check it out.

question-mark-med-20305754

There’s a slight twist to this particular game, which most of you should be able to pick up on pretty quickly. Those of you who can’t pick up on it are probably Burzum fans.

-AR

OPERATION: SUMERIANCORE WIKI WAS A BUST

Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Vince Neilstein

sumerian recordsMy efforts to have Sumeriancore added to Wikipedia have been squashed. MS reader Ty Winchester took is upon himself to write up the entry, but it was removed within a week due to being a “neologism.” You can still see a cached version of that Sumeriancore Wikipedia entry. Next up I tried UrbanDictionary.com… and got shot down by the site’s editors in less than 24 hours.

What the fuck? I feel Sergeant D’s pain.

At least there’s a Last.FM tag for Sumeriancore now, and industry people used the term at a CMJ panel last month. Sumeriancore will live on in our hearts and in our minds… and on this website. Fuck the haters!

-VN

A REALLY COOL IDEA FOR A BAND WEBSITE

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 3:00pm by Vince Neilstein

rusty eyeCheck out the official website for the band Rusty Eye. The entire premise of the website is a set of three video screens — each focusing on one of the three band members — which play simultaneously and show the band performing… the entire record. They’re not just static camera angles either; each screen switches angles periodically to keep things interesting. If the band wanted to take it to the next level they would’ve allowed the viewer to control the switching of camera angles; but alas, that’d probably be really fucking expensive to produce and code.

I’m not too hot on the band’s vocal approach, but their music is pretty decent progressive thrash (if there’s such a thing). Moreso I just wanted to point out the website, which I think is a really cool idea. I wish more bands would spend the time to develop creative ideas like this to market their music on the web.

-VN

iMETAL

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

iMetal

You know how I know things aren’t all terrible in the metal world right now? The people who run iTunes think there’s enough money to be made that they’ve now created an entire metal section.

Click to read more…

KORN YOUTUBE VOCAL COVERS; ALMOST AS BAD THE ORIGINALS

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 4:00pm by Vince Neilstein

When the biggest breaking story of the day is the revival of Skold, you know it’s a slow news day. So why not turn to YouTube for some vocal cover lulz? Let’s dive head-first into the bedrooms of America’s teenagers via YouTube to see the funniest vocal covers of the mighty Korn (see also: The Limp Bizkit Collection).

First up we have this guy. He claims to have been drunk when he recorded it. And?

Click to read more…

PATCH ON, PATCH OFF

Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 10:30am by Vince Neilstein

backpatchesI was never super into patches; I had a Guns N’ Roses patch on my backpack in high school, but that was it. But the proprietor of Endless Blockade — also of metal blog No Gods, No Vegetables — must’ve been really into patches. Endless Blockade is devoted entirely to patches; backpatches, regular patches, patches on pants… metal patches, punk patches, nature patches, nazi patches… patches, patches, patches… thousands of them. Worth a few minutes of perusal, as much for the history lesson as the lulz.

-VN

[Thanks: Double D]

CLINT LOWERY, MAKER OF SILLY FACES

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 2:00pm by Vince Neilstein

I don’t know whether this is actually the case, but before I met Clint Lowery (we interviewed him right after he rejoined Sevendust in early 2008) he always struck me a super-serious dude. He always just looked so fucking serious up there on stage, counter to 7D bassist Vinnie Hornsby’s class-clown stage antics. But he was super chill and affable in person. And he always responds to my emails, no matter how annoying they may be (”Hey dude, wanna send me that unreleased Dark New Day album?” “Sorry man, I wish, but I can’t.”) Maybe it’s that whole newfound sobriety thing (congrats on two years, dude!).

Anyway I’ve really been enjoying these Sevendust video diaries from the studio. They’re updated several times daily and show a whole other side of the band, especially Mr. Lowery, who’s been handling the lion’s share of the camera work. Every time the camera clicks off he makes a silly face. It’s cute. Here we see him goofing off while Lajon tracks vocals. Wonder what song it is that they’re working on?

-VN

SCAR SYMMETRY SHOULD’VE JUST HIRED THIS GUY

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 11:00am by Vince Neilstein

File this under “YouTube Vocal Covers” actually gone right [thanks: MS reader Zoker]. Sure, the guy doesn’t hit every high note, but he does a damn fine job overall with both the growls and the clean singing parts. The guy’s clearly got ability and I’m presuming he’s available for the half the price of the current two SS vocalists. Ya win some, ya lose some.

-VN

MORE YOUTUBE VOCAL COVER SHENANIGANS

Friday, October 16th, 2009 at 1:30pm by Vince Neilstein

This guy’s actually not terrible. I mean, he’s not great, and his choice of songs to cover is extremely questionable, but the guy’s low growls are pretty good.

For all the shit we give people who post vocal covers on YouTube — and some them of them are downright awful jokes obviously posted in self-parody while some of them just plain blow — the majority of them are just kids honest-to-goodness trying to express themselves. And the coolest part is that [some] people actually offer legit criticism in the YouTube comments. Like in this video and another one by the same dude, people tend to agree that his low growls are good but his high growls need work. It’s neat to see some positive reinforcement on the Internet from time to time. I’ll bet this kid goes and practices his high growls and improves them greatly in the coming months… and who knows, some day he might front a great metal band. Even if he never goes any farther than covering August Burns Red and The Devil Wears Prada, it stands to reason that some percentage of kids doing these YouTube covers will go on to be members of popular metal bands. It’s scary, but true.

-VN

[Thanks: Patrick Greene]

HOW TO STAY GOTH PAST 50

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 at 9:30am by Vince Neilstein

how to stay goth past 50Sent in by MetalGF by way of the always poignant Onion.

The bottom should read “INSIDE Your Band: We Finally Checked It Out. It’s Not Very Good.”

-VN

JACK BLACK GETS BRUTAL (LEGEND)

Monday, October 12th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Vince Neilstein

Lots of you have been emailing us about the new Jack Black-led video game Brutal Legend. Unless you’ve been living in a cave like the MetalSucks Mansion the past couple of weeks, the game’s release has been pretty difficult to ignore because there are ads frickin EVERYWHERE for that shit (except MetalSucks, AHEM EA!). Personally I have zero interest in this game because the last gaming system I bought was the SNES, but presumably many of you rock your XBOX 360s and Playstation 3s as hard as you rock your Internet porn every night. So, here’s Jack Black in a “viral” video spot plugging the game, including some footage from the game itself. I guess the game comes out like pretty soon or something.

-VN

OPERATION: SUMERIANCORE WIKI

Friday, October 9th, 2009 at 11:00am by Vince Neilstein

sumerian recordsJust because Metal Inquisition’s Sergeant D failed at having his own self-coined micro-genre of metal added to Wikipedia doesn’t mean we’re not gonna give it a shot; where Wigger Slam was struck down by the Wikipedia fascists, Sumeriancore shall succeed because it’s decidedly more PC.

Folks, Sumeriancore isn’t just some mistake the MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys stumbled upon whilst banging away at their typewriters; it’s a real movement, and it’s making itself felt in the scene in a serious way. Phil Freeman of the quite-reputable Allmusic.com (ex-Metal Edge) referenced the term in his review of Born of Osiris’ A Higher Place, a review which is now being syndicated by hundreds of sites including iTunes, Best Buy and Barnes & Noble. Kids are debating the meaning of the term on MusicianForums.com, while over at the SMNnews.com forums a member of MetalSucks-faves The Binary Code poses this question to the masses: “Is my band ‘Sumeriancore’?” Even on Sumerian Records’ own Last.fm page, kids are e-yelling “SUMERIANCORE!” in the comments.

So let’s get this shit going. Despite what MS Maniac Caspar Colderson commented on yesterday’s Tesseract post, “Sumeriancore” isn’t yet in Wikipedia. Can someone who’s bored at work take a stab at entering it in? ‘Cause we can’t do it ourselves, lest we make the Wikipedia Gods angry. I like Freeman’s definition: “a blend of tech-death and hardcore played by preternaturally talented youngsters,” as well as “Any band that sounds like they are/could be signed to Sumerian Records (the Faceless, After the Burial, Veil of Maya)” from the aforementioned Binary Code post.

We’ll send anyone who helps out a copy of A Higher Place signed by Glen Danzig.

-VN

IF ONLY DANI FILTH COULD SEE THIS

Friday, October 2nd, 2009 at 1:00pm by Vince Neilstein

More than any other band, Cradle of Filth seem to attract the attention of YouTube vocal covers done by bedroom-dwelling, suburban goth teens (see also: this cover of “Nymphetamine” starring hot twins). Since we’re obsessed with YouTube vocal covers and Cradle of Filth are inherently kinda funny, this provides us and the MS Mansion Monkeys with great amusement.

This cover of “Her Ghost in the Fog” is pretty brilliant if you ask us. The best part: “I know I look like shit right now but in an HOUR OR TWO I’ll look perfect and I will use the power of dark side that has been given to me to scream my ass off for you guys so rock on.” Notes MS Maniac BondedByBlood, who sent this clip in: “I saw him at a show last night and he wore the same hilarious makeup.” Sometimes I wished we lived in the suburbs so we’d see hilarious shit like this. NYC kids are too cool or something. This kid’s high-pitched screams are absolutely ace.

-VN

BondedByBlood

TWEET WITH SHADOWS FALL’S BRIAN FAIR, WIN SOME FREE SHIT

Thursday, October 1st, 2009 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg

brianfairtwitter

Look how angry Brian Fair is in that photo. Grrrrr. That’s his metal face. Not to be fucked with.

In reality, though, Brian is actually a pretty chill dude. Seriously. Would an angry monster give away free shit over Twitter? Of course not. But Brian is. Says the Shadows Fall front man himself:

Click to read more…

I’VE SHTUPPED GIRLS LESS PRETTY THAN THIS DUDE

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg

But they were all better screamers.

-AR

Thanks to Josh Kidd for the tip.

YOUTUBE VOCAL COVERS: THE LIMP BIZKIT COLLECTION

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 4:30pm by Vince Neilstein

I love YouTube vocal covers. LOVE THEM! There’s something about teenagers bearing their souls (awfully) for all the world to see that just hits me in that special place.

So today we take a look at the very best YouTube has to offer of Limp Bizkit vocal covers. Let’s go!

The best part of this one is definitely this dude’s atrocious facial hair styling, but almost as astounding is how accurately he imitates Fred Durst’s whiny interpretation of this George Michael classic:

After the jump… more Limp Bizkit vocal covers. Click! You know you wanna. The best is yet to come.

Click to read more…

WHEN METAL AND WEED UNITE

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Vince Neilstein

metal and weedThe fine metal journalism institution Metal Inquisition has done it again with an in-depth look at the union of our two favorite pastimes: metal and weed. We like to think that these two pleasures go together like two nuts in a sack, but Metal Inquisition proves otherwise; Six Feet Under, Black Label Society, Dope and others illustrate that when bands mix weed into their metal, the results aren’t always as desired. Read the two posts here and here.

We’ll still be the two dudes getting high at the back of the metal show.

-VN

GOOGLE IS SURPRISINGLY WELL-EDUCATED ABOUT METAL

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

The always-brilliant Rob Pasbani of Metal Injection was going through his usual daily routine – wake up late, wander over to computer, get high, play on computer, remain in boxers, fail to bathe… y’know, the life of your average blogger – when he made an amazing discovery: Google’s suggestions for popular searches related to metal are actually pretty dead-on. To wit, this non-altered, completely, 100% real screenshot:

google6-lars

AMAZING, right? Now if only iTunes and Netflix could actually make some decent recommendations based on my previous purchases and rentals.

Head over to Metal Injection for more incredible screenshots of metal-related Google search suggestions.

-AR

MOTHERS AGAINST BROKENCYDE

Thursday, September 10th, 2009 at 11:30am by Vince Neilstein

mothers against brokencydeIs this website real? If so, it rules. If not, it still rules.

Join the fight. Even if you’re not a mother.

-VN