“I’m listening to _________. What should I drink?”

A simple concept with hilarious results, Drinkify is the solution to all of your music-listening beverage needs. It’s amazingly accurate, too. For example:

• The Revocation: “4 oz. Rum, Fucking Rum, 4 oz. Red Bull, 8 oz. Red Bull. Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously.”
• The Slayer: “8 oz. Blood, 8 oz. Wheatgrass juice. Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve. Stir vigorously.”
• The Metallica: “4 oz. Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. Serve neat. Garnish with maraschino cherry.”
• The Morbid Angel: “8 oz. Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey, 8 oz. Coco López, 1 oz. Tequila Oro. Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve. Stir quickly. Garnish with straw.”

Try it out for yourself at your next party. Blood sold separately.

-VN

Thanks: metalgf

Dear Nardwuar: please come work for MetalSucks. That is all.

-VN

As you hopefully know by now, we teamed up with our very good friend, Mr. Rodney Githens of Vertebrae 33 and Metal Band Art, to host a booth at New York Comic Con last weekend. And we had a blast! We can’t wait to do it again next year.

And now we have a video run-down of the event from our other very good friends over at Metal Injection, which you can and should check out below. They interviewed the great Richard Christy, metal artist extraordinaire Chuck BB, and, oh yeah, they got me offering to give James Hetfield a rusty trombone. Check it out:

-AR

Man oh man, am I ever jealous of the dudes at Metal Injection. While Vince and I (and, of course, our friend Rodney Githens from Vertebrae 33 and Metal Band Art) were manning our booth at this past weekend’s New York Comic Con, Injection co-heads Rob and Frank were at a roundtable with Mike Judge, a.k.a. the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, Office Space, and a ton of other stuff that’s made you snarf over the past twenty years. And, of course, they asked all the best questions — which is to say, they got Judge to spill on whether or not there would be metal videos in the series’ upcoming re-launch, and to discuss his own metal fandom. Suh-weeeeeeeet. Click on the below screen cap of Judge talking about metal subgenres to watch the whole interview, which, needless to say, is pretty damned great.

Beavis and Butt-Head finally returns to MTV on October 27. Check out a trailer for the new season here.

-AR

… so we put a Bandcamp on your Facebook, so you can Bandcamp while you Facebook!

About fucking time. Perhaps inspired by the recent Spotify/Facebook integration and the half-a-dozen or so Facebook apps for bands, Bandcamp has finally released a Facebook Bandcamp app that allows bands to add a Bandcamp tab with embeds from their Bandcamp page directly into their Facebook profile.

Bandcamp is the best platform currently available to bands for streaming and selling digital music and Facebook is the best social networking tool, so a union of the two makes perfect sense. More and more bands that send us material for review are including Bandcamp links, and I hope even more start to hop on the Bandcamp bandwagon now that Facebook integration is possible. Bandcamp is where it’s at. My mind is blown every time a band sends us a MySpace link.

-VN

Thanks: Matt Cooper

Those instruments don’t set themselves up, ladies and gentlemen; where there’s a big metal show there’s also a crew of roadies doing all the tough work behind the scenes. Vice Magazine has put together a documentary mini-series called On the Road, which they’re releasing in bite-sized chunks of 10-minute episodes, to pay tribute to these heroes and celebrate “the travelling rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle.” The first six episodes are hosted by Jesse Hughes of The Eagles of Death Metal, and the series promises that “it bares all the scars and secrets of the road and a few surprises along the way.”

Of the three episodes released so far, Episode 2 should be of most interest to MS readers. Episode 2 features interviews with several metal notables on the Revolver Golden Gods Awards black carpet and some pretty outrageous stories from longtime Megadeth and Motorhead roadie Jef Hickey. Did you know that R&B great Luther Vondross used to have his toilet seat FedEx’ed to each location before his arrival? True story, and Jef was the one who had to install it nightly. Watch Episode 2 above and follow the full series here.

-VN

[UPDATE, 1:29pm EDT: Metal Insider has posted an MP3! Click here to listen and scroll to the bottom.]

[UPDATE, 1:06pm EDT: Welp, looks like the video's been pulled. Sorry folks.]

If you’re like most sane metalheads you did not like the Metallica / Loud Reed track “The View,” the first song to be released from their forthcoming LuLu collaboration. While I wouldn’t say that Lou Reed’s vocals were the only thing folks didn’t like about “The View” I’d say that they certainly didn’t help the cause. Don’t get me wrong, I love some Velvet Underground stuff but this just… doesn’t work. So what would “The View” sound like without Lou Reed? Internet to the rescue, via Metal Insider:

I can’t see anyone jumping into the ring to say this song totally fucking rules man one way or the other, but taking Reed’s vocals out of the equation certainly takes the edge off. At worst it sounds like a b-side from Death Magnetic and at best it’s a nice little 2-minute dittty about James Hetfield’s desire to be a table.

-VN

Yeah my headline is a little misleading. But it got your attention I bet!

ANYWAY, last week, Lamb of God vocalist Randy Blythe came to the conclusion that his Twitter account just wasn’t enough to express himself fully (which is understandable — dude tweets a LOT, and he’s really funny with that shit, too). And so he started his own Tumblr blog, called Randonesia. And while the first few posts he did were, in his own words, “just me figuring this thing out,” his most recent entry, published earlier this week, is an in-depth discussion of one of those topics which is incredibly important, but somehow seems to be rarely discussed in public: album sequencing.

Click to read more…

Some day I will visit Japan and I will experience the unlimited fresh sushi, crazy candy, bullet trains and bizarro baseball games that fine country has to offer. Maybe I’ll be able to experience some live music there, too. WTF, Japan, seriously!?

-VN

Thanks: Daniel Davis Snyder

I am a totally cool, mature person with cool, mature tastes. Which is why this video of a cute metal dude named Eric Calderone playing the Harry Potter theme did absolutely nothing for me. Nothing. Nope.

Amongst his repertoire of theme songs are the Pirates of the Caribbean, Stars Wars, and Castlevania. He also does a mean Rick-Roll. I know there are about a million and ten metal versions of various things online (and a certain band called Powerglove), but this guy managed to charm me so he gets a post.

Hah! He also does Guile’s theme from Street Fighter. Sir, if you do Dhalsim’s, too, we can be best friends forever.

-LF

I’ve read enough “Cry Now, Cry Later” columns in Decibel to know that if J. Bennett and I ever met we’d be instant besties, or more likely I’d wanna be instant besties and he’d be all “psshhh… get off my nuts, lowly blogger.” Dude’s writing makes me jealous on a regular basis, and he’s got great taste in metal too. His latest pièce de résistance is an entry in The Deciblog‘s “Justify Your Shitty Taste” series, in which DB writers are challenged to defend formerly indefensible and widely loathed albums: today’s mission, Cave In’s only major label child, Antenna.

Click to read more…

For the latest edition of their ongoing series “The Fix,” our number one homies over at Metal Injection got Michael Amott and Sharlee D’Angelo to pick out some of their favorite videos, including clips from Fates Warning, King Diamond, Savatage, Queensrÿche, and Crimson Glory. Check that shit out below, ’cause it’s, like, way entertaining.

Don’t forget that Arch Enemy is currently headlining the North American Khaos tour, which we’re proudly co-presenting with  Full Metal Jackie. Support comes from DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic. You can get dates here.

And, of course, you can and should check out more episodes of “The Fix” over at Metal Injection.

-AR

Guns N’ Roses not-quite-complete video trilogy from the early 90s — “Don’t Cry,” “November Rain,” and “Estranged” — remains infamous twenty years after its release, I imagine because –

• The videos were INSANELY popular at the time. I think at least one of them played every hour on the hour on MTV.
• They are, of course, completely ridiculous.

So this comic strip version of the “November Rain” video, which was posted recently on Funny or Die, is really taking a cheap shot at an easy target. It’s not news, for example, that the dude overreacting to rain and jumping through the cake makes no sense.

Still, as far as easy targets go, this is a pretty funny one.

Go here to check it out, then pray for comic versions of “Don’t Cry” and “Estranged” in our comments section below.

-AR

[via Badass Digest]

If the three bands name-checked in our headline aren’t enough to pique your interest, that’s not all: The Phoenix Born of Fire, Volume 1 compilation — put together by weekly New England arts mag The Boston Phoenix — also features free downloadable tracks from Ramming Speed (appearing at The Metal Suckfest!), Motherboar, Razormaze, Acaro, and a number of other Boston-area metal bands. Stream or download the whole thing for free on Bandcamp. Who knows, you may even discover a new band.

-VN

Thanks: Zack Wells

Nickelback isn’t racist!

-AR

[via The Chive]

I don’t know why he this dude, who calls himself “Eddini” (like “Houdini,” only amalgamated with what I suspect is his real name, Eddie), doesn’t put on “The House That Jack Built” — that always puts me right to bed. But I guess folks appreciate his efforts anyway, ’cause this his tenth video.

ANYWAY, you obviously don’t have to watch all fifteen fucking minutes of this, but you should probably watch at least through the :22 mark, when he takes a swing of Sprite (’cause nothing makes you go to sleep faster than sugar) and then, for no apparent reason, talks about his ‘Tallica tee.

And the real punchline? He’s a Jesus freak! A comment he left below the video reads, “Thanks for all your warm and kind responces it’s what keeps me going YOU, and the Lord.” As long as you have God and YouTube subscribers, you can get through anything!!!

-AR

Thanks to the reader who sent this to me whose original e-mail I can no longer find in order to credit him or her by name.

The latest edition of Metal Injection’s “Ask the Artist” series — in which various artists are asked one uniform question (See what they did there?) —  poses the query “What are the best and worst stage moves in metal?” to various bands that were on this summer’s two biggest metal tours — Mayhem Fest and Summer Slaughter.

And it’s a great question to ask, because it’s certainly one that seems to come up in metallic circles quite a bit. Just recently, a publicist told me she understood that I didn’t like one of her bands because they played too much “breakdowncore,” and I told her the breakdowncore was silly, sure, but not as silly as they choreographed stage moves they used for each and every song. So it’s interesting to hear the thoughts of the musicians who actually have to be extra-conscientious of stage moves themselves.

Not shocking — a lot of the bands, including Trivium and Fleshgod Apocalypse, poke fun at crabcore and general scene-friendly stage moves. More shocking: so do Oceano.

Check out more of Metal Injection’s “Ask the Artist” videos here.

-AR

This is how I know I’ve officially become completely desensitized to metal: when I hear something like The Black Dahlia Murder and think to myself, “Gee, that’s actually pretty melodic… maybe these old folks will actually dig it!” Not so. I forget that the only non-metalheads hear is screaming, an instant turn-off. But at least one 80-year old woman thinks The Black Dahlia Murder are the bees knees… almost.

The money quote: “Oh my goodness, well it’s not like Murdoch [Marduk]! It’s similar to them, but not as great as Murdoch. So they have to practice a little bit more. Murdoch’s great, Murdoch’s the best, absolutely.”

Watch the intro then skip to 4:40 for the BDM segment.

-VN

Thanks: Jesse Z.

Tired of waiting for the new Necrophagist album? Well, so is MetalSucks reader Keith Carlson. Mr. Carlson does weekly comics for Orlandooom.com, and his latest pokes fun at the Chinese Democracy of tech death. Check it out below; it’s some really, really funny shit. You can click on the comic to enlarge it.

Check out more of Keith’s comics here.

-AR