MetalSucks

Sometimes we get so caught caught up in minutae inside our little metal Internet bubble that we lose perspective on the bigger picture. Take this lampoon video from Current.com that highlights deathcore YouTube vocal covers (including our favorite, Señor Bivins) and mocks the differences between deathcore, death metal and metalcore. I’m pretty sure the guy in the video “gets” it and is playing dumb to make a point… but let’s be honest with ourselves; while the minutae between these micro-genres may seem important to us now, 200 years from now people aren’t going to give a flying fuck. By then it’ll all just be called “early 21st century metal” or some equally all-inclusive blanket term that disregards all the differences we argue about on a daily basis. It’s all just dudes screaming over loud guitars and fast drums in the end.

Anyway, this video is pretty funny. If there’s one thing we and the presumably indie rock-centric audience this video is geared towards can agree on, it’s that deathcore scene kids are fucking stupid.

-VN

[Thanks: Pablo]

I think these kids are kidding. I pray to God that they’re kidding. Seeing as the first move is serious and the rest are all jokes… they’re obviously kidding, right? Right?

Pray for the children of today.

-VN

[Thanks: poopsmcgee]

A reader named James (who runs this website) sent us the below video of two dudes doing an acoustic version of Megadeth’s “Lucretia.” And despite the fact that these guys looks like pretty typical frat house d-bags, it’s actually really good. The accompanying description on YouTube reads simply, “Bored and drunken, we decided to record some Megadeth.” Which is probably way cooler than whatever most people do when they’re bored and drunk.

-AR

Forget record labels, expensive music videos, fancy photo shoots or physical distribution… just come up with an interesting idea to make people pay attention to you and they might just like what they hear. Don’t bother trying to hit the mass populace over the head via carpet-bombing marketing tactics; gain credibility as a trusted source for reliable material and you’ll make a fan for life.

I sound like Bob fucking Lefsetz. But that’s exactly what Trondheim, Norway based Miksha have done with their viral video tribute to late TV sales guru Billy Mays. Everything is well done; the acting, the subtitles, playing the music for just long enough… it’s a quality production through and through. Because I was watching the video while the music was playing, I listened to a band I may not have paid attention to before… and it worked! Miksha’s music is quality, just like this video. Next time I see their name mentioned on a blog or in a press release, I’ll definitely read more.

Watch the video below.

-VN

[Thanks: longtime MS reader / Miksha bassist and vocalist "fritz"]

Reader Brandon Fountain sent us a link to the below video of members of At the Gates and Municipal Waste getting drunk and/or high together on ATG’s awesome reunion tour last year. It’s not really all that exciting, but a) it’s a slow news day, b) it gives you the chance to live vicariously through these very talented musicians, and c) it’s a great excuse to remind you that we’re sponsoring The Waste’s “Waste the World” tour with Goatwhore, Brutal Truth, Phobia and Cauldron. Get dates after the jump!

Click to read more…

We haven’t posted one of these crazy mash-ups in awhile, but reader Cody Barrick sent us this DJ Schmolli mash-up of Motorhead and Slayer, and since it a) doesn’t involve a terrible or semi-terrible pop or rap song and b) works surprisingly well, it struck me as worth sharing…

-AR

Back in August, Gary “Lucky Motherfucker” Suarez got to see Nine Inch Nails perform their seminal release, The Downward Spiral, in its entirety as part of their “Wave Goodbye” tour. For those of us who weren’t lucky enough to be there, I attempted to compile video bootlegs of the entire performance. Turns out, I shouldn’t have wasted my time. Our friends at Metal Injection report:

One NIN fanatic searched far and wide and found 11 different people at the show who bootleged it (in HD nonetheless!), they edited it and now, presumably with Trent’s blessing, the entire show is online and downloadable for FREE. You can stream it above, download a torrent, iPod version or just a DVD burn. Click here to download it.

Even if Trent hasn’t approved of this yet, I have a hard time imagining that Mr. “Fuck the Record Labels, Steal My Album” would have a problem with it. But whatever the case, I’d like to applaud this awesome fan for all his hard work, which will now allow the rest of us to live vicariously though some means other than a critics’ description.

Here’s a video from the performance, now edited together:

-AR

This video from Funny or Die has been making the rounds today – I don’t wanna give too much away, but it’s pretty funny shit. Bonus: in addition to Lipps and Robb from Anvil, it features Human Giant’s Rob Huebel. Score!

-AR

Although the girl isn’t so little she is definitely black metal and full of shenanigans. This should be the new status quo for grim and frostbitten.

-VN

[Thanks: Max L.]

So this is actually pretty interesting. This kid’s dad documented him learning to play the drums starting at age two, then made this little five minute video following his progress up to age eleven. By age five he’s already getting pretty good.

Kinda makes me wish someone had shoved a guitar in my hands at a much younger age. Did any of you, oh our dear readers, start playing an instrument at a really young age? Do tell.

So… who do we think would win a drum-off: this kid or Jonah Rocks?

-AR

Thanks to Ryan Black for the tip.

We’re big fans of late ’80s / early ’90s WWF wrestling at the Mansion. When we were kids, Axl and I used to have annual Wrestlemania parties where we got our friends together and got really high on Coke and Doritos and beat the shit out of each other with pillows. Fun times!

So naturally I’m elated to hear that there’s an iPhone app that’s an Iron Sheik soundboard featuring many of his great one-liners. SMNnews.com posted this clip of someone prank-calling Roadrunner Records with said soundboard. The poor girl on the other end of the line (who I’m pretty sure has buzzed us into Roadrunner’s offices on more than one occasion) is actually a pretty good sport about it.

-VN

This is one of those rare examples when a copy of a copy actually turns out alright. It’s a remix of a remix; the band Origin Theory remixing DJ Steve Porter’s “Slap Chop Rap,” which is itself a take on the infomercial for the “as seen on TV” product Slap Chop (”Chop Nuts in One Slap!” Phallic obsession, anyone?).  This is kind of brilliant and really well done; I suddenly have Origin Theory’s music stuck in my head, and I inexplicably feel like I need to buy a Slap Chop so it can sit on my shelf and gather dust right next to the Banjo Frog, Ginsu knives and Rotisserie Chicken Oven that I really thought I needed at the time. Thanks to MS Maniac Ori Ratner for inflicting pain upon my ears and wallet.

-VN

He looks a tad bit bored at first… but around the :30 mark his face lights up and he gets really into it, and by the end he’s having a smashing good time. It’s funny to see a drum legend playing a dumbed-down version of music that already has a really simple drum beat, and it’s hilarious when he fucks up at the end. I’d love to see him tear up some shit on the Expert level.

-VN

[Thanks: Brandon Marvin]

Pure comedic gold. The pacing is a bit off and the video way long (it could’ve been just as funny at half the length), but the guy’s heart is completely, 100% in the right place. Also, the faux-NY accent is a bit bizarre… but whatevs. Anything that makes fun of Fred Durst is aight in our book.

-VN

[Thanks: Jeffrey Grasske]

[Thanks: Ranpal Chana]

I’d just like to take a moment to say THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH to the friend who sent us the link to the below video. He works in the biz and I think he wants to remains anonymous in case the opportunity ever arises to sign this kid, but he seriously made my day. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!

-AR

I’m not actually anti-Guitar Hero/rhythm games the way some people are, and this is only sorta kinda related to metal, but this satirical look into the making of Guitar Hero: The Beatles (not a real game, obviously) is too funny not to share.

-AR

[via CHUD]

Dear Whomever You Are,

Marry me.

Love,

Double-Jew Axl Rosenberg

-AR

[Thanks to bereteando's tweet for the tip]

-AR

Thanks to Joe Simpson for the vid link.

Of course you do! Sent in by an MS Maniacs who would probably like to remain anonymous:

This kid (who for some reason calls himself Smeagol) is pretty much well known as being the village idiot in the (not so booming) Northern Indiana metal scene. I was horrendously delighted to discover that he recently posted a terrible vocal cover of himself croaking and moaning along to Bleached Bones by Marduk.

Croaking and moaning indeed. Enjoy!

If Smeagol doesn’t turn you off of the whole idea, make sure you go and see Marduk with Nachtmystium, Mantic Ritual, Merrimack and Black Anvil on the U.S. Plague Tour this fall. Full list of dates after the jump.

-VN

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