Archive for the ‘What the fuck??’ Category

AXL ROSE, PLAGIARIZER?

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 12:22pm by Axl Rosenberg

axl_rose_tommy_stinsonAaaaannnnddd my heart is broken.

Blabbermouth reports that Independiente and the Domino Recording Company are suing Guns N’ Roses for ripping off two songs by Ulrich Schnauss for the song “Riad N’ the Bedouins,” which appears on the band’s forever-in-the-making flop of epic of proportions, Chinese Democracy. Now, a new law suits against Axl Rose and GN’R is filed approximately once an hour – Rose has even blamed said law suits in the past for being part of the reason for CD’s delay (as if) – so, normally, this would not be news.

Except that I’m 99.9% positive that Schnauss is correct, and he was ripped-off.

Click to read more…

ALICE IN CHAINS’ “YOUR DECISION” VS. NIRVANA’S “POLLY”

Monday, October 5th, 2009 at 4:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

Reader CB Mather e-mailed me over the weekend to assert that Alice in Chains’ new song, “Your Decision,” is “an obvious rip-off” of Nirvana’s “Polly.” Now, since I absolutely loved AIC’s new album, Black Gives Way to Blue, and really, really dig the song “Your Decision,” I immediately decided to investigate…

…and there are some undeniable similarities between the songs. The vocal lines are different and the choruses are not really similar at all, but the chord progression during the verse is… well… it’s not identical, but I can see a relationship there. I don’t know if I’d call it “an obvious rip-off,” but only the most die-hard AIC fan who can’t live with the thought of anyone saying anything even mildly insulting to the band would deny the similitude of the two songs.

Here they are side-by-side. I tend to think this is just one of those times when a song kinda-sorta sounds like another song, but the fact that they’re both Seattle bands from the same era makes the connection that much more relevant.

NIRVANA PERFORMING “POLLY” ON UNPLUGGED

ALICE IN CHAINS PERFORMING “YOUR DECISION” ON JIMMY KIMMEL

Click to read more…

A COMPLETELY JUVENILE BUT HILARIOUS “COVER”

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 11:00am by Vince Neilstein

Sent in by MS Maniac Marco Parra Castelán, this Black Sabbath “cover” comes to us by way of the Spanish 5-piece Fecal Coproboys.

Because farting has always been, still is, and will always be fucking hilarious.

-VN

MORE FUN WITH WEBERNETARDS

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg

Wow. Just… wow.

Idiots of the world: please keep posting videos of yourselves singing on YouTube. It makes my life.

-AR

Thanks to Es-meister for the tip!

WALMART GOES METAL FOR HALLOWEEN

Monday, September 28th, 2009 at 12:00pm by Vince Neilstein

metal mayhem kid's costumeMS Maniac Brutal Jay tipped us off to the existence of the hilarious Halloween “Metal Mayhem Child Costume” now available at Walmart. My immediate instinct was to be a hater and harp on the co-option of metal culture by a huge conglomerate who obviously cares solely about how much money this product bring in, but then I realized that, for a young kid who’s into metal, this costume is ten times cooler than your average superhero/devil/zombie/vampire whatever costume.

Although, I think if it were me, I’d definitely opt for the Mick Mars edition.

-VN

THIS IS A JOKE. I THINK THIS IS A JOKE. THIS HAD BETTER BE A JOKE.

Thursday, September 24th, 2009 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg

This is either a parody, or this band has now usurped these guys as the creators of the worst black metal video ever. I honestly can’t tell. But either way, it’s quite giggle-inducing. Giggle giggle giggle.

-AR

Thanks to Chas Meshell for the clip!

SPEAKING OF GOJIRA…

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 at 3:00pm by Axl Rosenberg

…our friend Elijah Torn just sent this to us.

All I can say is… “Wow.” Just… wow.

-AR

BLOODS, CRIPS… JUGGALOS?

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 4:10pm by Axl Rosenberg

JUGGALOS

We all know that 99.9% of all Juggalos are idiots (I know one cool one), but are they dangerous? When I think of bad-asses who wear spooky clown make-up, a lot of names come to mind – John Wayne Gacy, The Joker, Tim Curry in It – but Juggalos ain’t any of them.

Well, it looks like certain police officials here in the States disagree with me. Thus spake Noisecreep:

Click to read more…

ATTACK ATTACK! HOPE THEIR BOYFRIEND DON’T MIND IT

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Axl Rosenberg

First of all, major credit goes to reader Daniel Stalder for bringing this to our attention.

Attack Attack! have covered Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl.”

There is nothing especially remarkable about this; shitty screamo bands cover crappy pop songs all the time these days.

However, the lyrics to this particular song make the cover that much more horrifying/hilarious.

Check it out:

-AR

THE ONLY DIO SONG THAT MY MOM WOULD LIKE

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 12:15pm by Axl Rosenberg

The dudes at Metal Insider (via tipster/friend of MetalSucks Stabitha C) have come across what might the find of the year: this video of featuring the single “An Angel is Missing” by Ronnie and the Red Caps… “Ronnie” in this case being Ronnie James Dio (or just “Ronnie Dio,” as he’s called here), who not only sings, but plays the bass and trumpet as well. The single was recording in 1959, a good ten years before the formation of Elf (which also featured Ronnie and the Red Caps guitarist Nick Pantas!) and a decade and a half prior to the first Rainbow album.

I don’t think it’s any secret that Dio had a non-metal musical career earlier in his life, but I’ve never actually heard any of the music he made during that period before. Plus, check out that photo of the young Mr. Dio! WEIRD!!!

-AR

SO, UH, DID RANDY BLYTHE LIKE PATRICK SWAYZE OR HATE HIM?

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg

In case you didn’t hear, Patrick Swayze is dead. And while I’ve never seen Dirty Dancing (or Road House… that seems like it might be a major oversight on my part), I did enjoy the man’s work in Point Break (he really jumps from the plane, man!!!) and, more recently, Donnie Darko.

So. Elise at Reign in Blonde found this video of LOG doing a concert back in ‘08, around the time Swayze was initially diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what Randy says right around the 2:10 mark:

“This next song goes out to… our other special guest, who appeared backstage. Believe it or not, Mr. Patrick Swayze is in the house. Un-fucking-believable. Here we go Patrick, this is for you! NOW YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING TO DIE FOR!”

Well, I’m confused. Blythe’s tone sounds pretty sincere, but dedicating a song called “Now You’ve Got Something to Die For” to a dude who just found out he has cancer seems kind of, um, insensitive, for lack of a better word. Was Swayze really in attendance for this show? Is Blythe trying to do something cool, or is he being a dick? If Lamb of God cover “She’s Like the Wind” on their next album, I guess we’ll know the answer.

-AR

CRAZY TOWN BUTCHERING REFUSED’S “NEW NOISE”

Monday, September 14th, 2009 at 12:00pm by Vince Neilstein

“New Noise” seems to be a popular song to cover; Anthrax (with Dan Nelson) covered it a few months back, and apparently The Used rock it from time to time. Far worse, Crazy Town used to butcher it with regularity. When Refused wrote The Shape of Punk to Come, they most certainly did not mean horrible guitar tone, rubber-band bass, and jocks with their shirts off rapping about winged ex-caterpillars. If Refused had known that bands like Crazy Town would go on to cite them as influences, perhaps they would’ve never formed a band and spared us all.

Oh God, oh God.

-VN

[Thanks: Scott Danger]

I WANNA SEND MY GRAND MA TO DO INTERVIEWS, TOO

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 at 2:00pm by Axl Rosenberg

Whomever thought this up is a fucking genius.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

ENSIFERUM MAKE THE LAZIEST VIDEO EVER

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 at 2:00pm by Axl Rosenberg

I like Ensiferum. Seriously, I do. But what the fuck is going on in their new video, “From Afar?” No one wanted to play their instrument? Or at least hold their instrument? Or even, y’know, move?

Maybe they just asked a former member of Dimmu Borgir to please pack their gear for them, and then he forgot. I bet that’s it. That has to be it. Right?

-AR

I OFTEN SOLO WHILE TAKING A DUMP

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 2:00pm by Axl Rosenberg

I saw this on Reign in Blonde. I have no idea where those crazy bitches found it, I have no idea why this guy is playing the gee-tar on the shitter, I have no idea why he taped it and threw up on these here interwebs… I am generally just very, very confused about all of this. Kind of the same way I felt when I heard Risk for the first time.

-AR

NOW KURT COBAIN IS REALLY ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

Even if Kurt Cobain didn’t mind being used as an avatar in Guitar Hero 5, I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t want to be used to sing Bon Jovi or Bush – even if it’s only virtual. Isn’t Bon Jovi exactly the kind of band that went against everything Cobain stood for? And Bush… that’s exactly the kind of god-awful shit-fuck wanna-be grunge band that Cobain accidentally inspired, and I’m sure either hated (if he was aware of them before his death) or would have hated (if he wasn’t aware of them before his death).

I’m not even that big a Cobain fan – but you just know that he’d be pissed at Courtney for letting them do this. What a crock.

-AR

[via Topless Robot]

SEBASTIAN BACH LOOKS JUST LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 11:30am by Vince Neilstein

taylor swift sebastian bach lookalikeIn a post about country singer Carrie Underwood’s cover of Skid Row’s “I Remember You,” Noisecreep’s Karen Bliss inadvertently (or perhaps advertently) stumbled upon a dead-on lookalike when she juxtaposed Taylor Swift’s photo (Swift has also covered classic metal songs as of late) with that of Sebastian Bach. Check out the above picture, taken directly from Noisecreep. WTF?

Reminds me of the classic blog Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. Except Swift’s not old… and not a lesbian. Whatever.

-VN

NOTHING HOMOEROTIC ABOUT THIS

Monday, August 31st, 2009 at 12:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

MS Maniac Leo Kannaly sent us an e-mail over the weekend where he wondered if this was the worst pit ever:

Leo, to answer your question, I don’t think that this is the worst pit ever, because I think to call this a pit would be an insult to pits everywhere. That being said, I do think it’s incredibly silly… but at least it doesn’t involve any karate moves.

-AR

FOR $40 YOU CAN WEAR EMMURE BOXING GLOVES IN THE PIT

Thursday, August 27th, 2009 at 10:00am by Vince Neilstein

emmure-boxingFor realz??? Yes, apparently. Part of me knows how retarded this is, but the other part of me thinks Emmure are genuises for knowing their fans are stupid enough to buy into something like this. But stupid fans necessarily implicates their music as stupid, so… joke’s on them. Emmure: music for people stupid enough to buy branded boxing gloves.

-VN

[Thanks: Metal Injection]

I GUESS WE’RE NO LONGER “THE PEREZ HILTON OF METAL”…

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg

…since apparently Perez Hilton is the Perez Hilton of metal. Check out his new t-shirts, which I saw this morning on Reign in Blonde. They’re the latest signs of the mainstream’s attempt to co-opt metal culture:

perezdanzig

Click to read more…