MetalSucks

Not quite as interesting as the brouhaha that unfolded betwixt Dillinger Escape Plan guitarist Ben Weinman and Disturbed guitarist Dan Donegan last year, but chuckle-inducing nonetheless: Digital Music News reports that a funny tiff involving pizza-stealing and beer-splashing unfolded between P2P application company Limewire and Dovecote Records (whose metal offshot Deathcote records has such MetalSucks-approved acts as Brother Von Doom and Don the Reader) at a party hosted by the former last week.

To make a very long blog short, Dovecote members accidentally grabbed some pizza at a New York bar, thinking the food was free. A LimeWire employee reported yelled at these individuals, excoriating them for stealing. After learning that the party was hosted by LimeWire, the Dovecote crew was shocked at the hypocrisy. One Dovecote member grabbed an entire box and dashed for the door, only to get doused by beer on the way out.

Read more about the hilarious conversational exchange on Dovecote’s blog. Massive LOLz. Kudos to the Dovecote crew for being awesome!

-VN

First SMNnews.com reported that Jose Mangin revealed in a Metal Injection podcast that Headbanger’s Ball will return to MTV in 2010 with him as the host. Then the sleuths at Metal Insider contacted Jose himself to ask him about the situation. Mangin denies any official full-time launch of the show or his place in it, but he does promise that some plans are in the works for Headbanger’s Ball in 2010. Sounds to me like Mangin is at the very least in the running for the host job but perhaps spilled the beans a bit too soon.

But here’s the thing: can Headbangers Ball even be relevant anymore? In 2009, a TV show about metal hardly seems like it will, or even can, matter at all.

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A lot of you have e-mailed us over the past few weeks to express excitement for the October release of the metal-themed video game Brutal Legend (trailer above), which stars the voice of Jack Black as as “a heavy metal roadie who is transported to a mythical ancient world where he is called upon to fight evil.” Or something.

As far as I can tell, the excitement for the game comes from a) Black’s participation and b) the fact that there’s going to be a metal game that isn’t a rhythm game (e.g., Guitar Hero).

Unfortunately, Variety reports that a lawsuit might hold up the release of the game:

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Which is why I would never engage in a debate with Gene Simmons about anything. It’s the same reason I rarely respond to comments left on this site. If I post about a band I think is great and someone’s response is “Ur a faggit,” what the fuck am I supposed to say that? My IQ could drop just trying to communicate with that person, so I don’t.

But music biz guru Bob Lefsetz must love  a Sisyphean task when he encounters one, because he’s been feuding with Simmons for the past week. The whole tiff started when Lefsetz criticized Simmons in his  newsletter (of which both Vince and myself are avid readers) for a speech Simmons gave during Canadian Music Week about various ways in which the music industry might stay afloat; Simmons responded with his own e-mail, in which he made fun of Lefsetz’s name. Seriously. This is the level of of maturity and intelligence with which Lefsetz is trying to engage.

The feud culminated in a public debate last week, which you can watch below – or don’t. Simmons’ opening argument rests not on any proof of acquired business acumen (and beside the admittedly phenomenal success of Kiss, it’s worth noting that 9 out of 10 Gene Simmons ventures fail – see exhibit A, Detroit Rock City), but, rather, on a bald joke. Which tells you pretty much everything you need to know.

After the jump, you can watch a clip of Lisa Lampanelli roasting Simmons on A&E last year. Which is considerably more entertaining than the video above.

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MS Maniac Kye has alerted us to the fact that Gorgoroth’s official website has posted an update regarding the long-brewing Gorgoroth naming rights battle, in which Gaahl and King ov Hell attempted to trademark the Gorgoroth name shortly before quitting the band. And…. the verdict has come down in favor of Infernus:

Oslo City District Court has today delivered a verdict on the main question in the Gorgoroth trademark case, which took place at the end of January 2009. The court has decided that King ov Hell’s trademark registration # 243365 of the band name Gorgoroth is NOT valid and shall therefore be deleted. The court states that King ov Hell and Gaahl excluded themselves from the band Gorgoroth when they tried to fire Infernus in October 2007. The court further states that Infernus cannot be excluded from Gorgoroth, unless he himself decides to quit. Infernus is very pleased, but not surprised, by this verdict. The remaining issues concerning financial matters and such are yet to be decided upon.

I’m not a big enough Gorgoroth fan to care much one way or the other, but presumably some of you will be extremely excited/outraged about this development. Battle it out in the comments section.

-VN

The Obelisk, a new metal blog run by JJ Koczan of the now defunct Metal Maniacs Magazine, recently published a fascinating interview with Roadrunner Records A&R-king Monte Conner on the subject of stoner rock. It’s a fascinating glimpse into the mind of one of the most famous and influential A&Rs in the history of metal, if not just for the interesting stoner rock subject matter  then for the industry / label politics / A&R talk. Monte speaks all about his stoner rock heroes from Kyuss to Fu Manchu to Queens of the Stone Age, spends a good deal of time talking about why Roadrunner never ventured far into the stoner rock foray (Karma to Burn excepted — and he goes in depth about them, too), the current state of stoner rock, and why it’s never become a commercially viable genre. Take a quick look at some of the interview highlights after the jump.

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Dååth guitarist/sexy Jew bastard Eyal Levi will apparently now be doing a regular or semi-regular guest blog for Headbanger’s Blog, entitled “Jumping Darkness Parade.” For his inaugural column, Eyal has chosen to take a stance that is unexpected coming from a metal head in today’s anti-record label climate: he’s proclaiming his love for the music business.

Here’s an excerpt:

“When you’re in small band like I am there’s a whole section of the industry who is drawn to you because they feel like they can take advantage of how green you are. Hence, bottom feeders. Small bands are like the s–t at the bottom of a fishtank. So being that I’m in a small band, and have had so many run ins with scumbags then why do I still love the music business? Simple. Because I love music. I love bringing my music to people. Without the music business I wouldn’t be able to do that on the level I’m doing it now.”

Check out the rest of Eyal’s blog here.

Dååth’s new album, The Concealers, will be out April 21. We will continue to remind you that is fucking quality as the release date draws closer.

-AR

Josh Freese e-mailed music biz guru Bob Lefsetz to give a somewhat more in-depth explanation of the awesome, hilarious package deals he’s offering for his new solo album, Since 1972. Once again, I’m just gonna go ahead and print this in its entirety, since Josh does just fine without me adding my two cents…

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Uberdrummer Josh Freese is getting ready to release a new solo album, Since 1972 (Freese’s YOB, natch), and is apparently determined to one-up his former boss Trent Reznor for the “Rockstar Adapting to a Changing Market in the Coolest Fucking Way Imaginable” award. Now, it’s entirely possible that Freese is just joshin’ around (sorry, couldn’t resist) – but even if he is, he’s funny as fuck. Here are the various price levels for purchasing Since 1972, and what Freese is (allegedly) offering for said price levels… I don’t even have to make any jokes here because Freese has done all the work for me:

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When the excellent line-up for this year’s Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival was announced last month, we wondered: who would be left for Ozzfest? It’s not like there’s ever gonna be a shortage of excellent bands to play the tour, but in terms of “namier” acts that were actually going to be touring, it seemed as though most of them had made other plans.

Well, now we have an answer: there isn’t gonna be an Ozzfest in ‘09.

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So yeah, we all sat around last nite in the family room of the MS Mansion and chuckled incessantly as our infamous MS Monkeys instinctively knew to fling their feces at the wall onto which we were projecting the Grammy Awards broadcast (in between games of Guitar Hero)…lucky for us, 1) it’s only a wall and 2) we have the aforementioned monkeys to clean up their own poop.

In any case, a few things happened on the show which seemed vaguely noteworthy:

– Bruce Springsteen won Best Rock Song for “Girls in Their Summer Clothes”. We didn’t realize the Boss was still makin de hitz, but obviously fully endorse girls and their summer clothes (or lack thereof).

– Coldplay won for Best Rock Album. Ugh.

– Radiohead won Best Alternative Music Album for their excellent In Rainbows. We cheered, but then became confused because we thought “alternative music” and that term itself died in the late 90s. In between beer bongs, Sammy O’Hagar predicted that in the next couple years, the Grammies would change that particular award title to Best Indie Music Album. We agreed, and also found it funny that Pitchfork didn’t mention anything about “metal” or “hard rock” in their Grammy round-up. Pussies.

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An anonymous source has confirmed to MetalSucks that legendary magazines Metal Maniacs and Metal Edge — both published by Zenbu Media — have closed their doors for good. At this time we can’t report whether either magazine will print any final issues or whether Zenbu itself is in trouble, but we can confirm that the end is nigh for these once mighty metal publications.

Any time hard luck falls upon anyone in the metal community it’s a tough pill to swallow, but Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs are fucking institutions and this news will undoubtedly send shockwaves throughout the metal world. Though these once mighty publications may not have carried the same weight in recent years that they once did, their demise delivers a shocking blow in one fell swoop to two industries already in peril, publishing and music. To say the absolute least, this is the end of an era.

Of the many implications running through my brain — not the least of which are the awesome people at both publications who are suddenly jobless — I keep coming back to two:

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Have Killswitch Engage reached cultural ubiquity? It’s hard to believe, but — together with original American New Wavers Lamb of God — the Masshole metalcore pioneers have reached the top of the modern metal popularity heirarchy and just might be about to pop mainstream culture’s bubble. The moment of Zen for me came not when Axl and I watched the Hulk-like security guards of New Jersey’s Starland Ballroom sing along to every song at their show there last year, but 10 minutes ago when I realized Killswitch Engage riffs are now being used as samples in hip-hop songs.

Is the party over for Killswitch or has it just begun?

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From nin.com [via MetalSucks Maniac Sukey Scorer], we have an update to Trent Reznor’s mysterious weekend countdown message:

The internet is full of surprises these days.
I was contacted by a mysterious, shadowy group of subversives who SOMEHOW managed to film a substantial amount (over 400 GB!) of raw, unedited HD footage from three separate complete shows of our Lights in the Sky tour. Security must have been lacking at these shows because the quality of the footage is excellent.

If any of you could find a LINK to that footage I’ll bet some enterprising fans could assemble something pretty cool.

Oh yeah, you didn’t hear this from me.

Just the latest in a long, long string of ultimate “bro” moves by Trent Reznor over the past year.

But wait; it doesn’t stop there.

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It seems like every day we get a press release here at the MS Mansion announcing that some respectable metal band has signed to Koch Records. High On Fire, Satyricon and Throwdown are the latest crop, having all signed to Koch within the past few weeks. Add that to the already formidable metal roster of In Flames, Otep, Hatebreed and Straight Line Stitch… despite a couple of admittedly terrible bands in that bunch, from a business perspective that’s some serious fucking firepower there, all added within the last year, give or take.

So what the hell is going on over there?

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We don’t always agree here at the MS Mansion. Despite what Axl said on Wednesday in his editorial, I would like to go on record as saying that Chinese Democracy — at least in the commercial sense — is an epic fail. By now you’ve all seen the numbers; despite a 9-day sales week (including Black Friday), a big promotional push from one of the nation’s top electronics retailers and the hype generated from a 17-year wait, Guns Axl N’ Roses’ long-awaited Chinese Democracy shifted a mere 261,191 units in its first week of release, enough to land the album at #3 on the Soundscan charts. That’s approximately one-third the number of albums sold first week by the other legacy rock/metal acts who released albums this year, AC/DC and Metallica, who both debuted at #1.

Ouch.

So what exactly went wrong?

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The album we’ve waited 17 years for has finally arrived (stay put for our own Axl’s review later today). But where the fuck is Axl Rose? Typically when bands have an album coming out they like to do this little thing called “press” to help generate buzz and sell records. But Axl is nowhere to be seen, having not made a single public appearance or even so much as a statement since the album’s release date was announced. No press conferences, no music video, no interviews, no talk shows… NOTHING.

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It’s 11:03 on Sunday night. Earlier today I bought my real, live copy of Chinese Democracy at Best Buy. I want my Dr. Pepper. But it is not to be. EPIC FAIL. Of gargantuan proportions!

The whole idea of a TV station called Music Television that doesn’t play music is completely ridiculous; nevertheless, this has been the reality of MTV pretty much since the late ‘90s. Forgive me if I’m slightly behind the times as I don’t have a TV, but apparently there’s a new channel called MTV Music (yes, folks, welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department: That’s “Music Television Music.”) that specializes in playing music videos. Is this not completely fucking ridiculous? [I realized post-publishing that this is solely a website, not a TV channel. Read on, as most of my points still stand. -Ed.]

Dear MTV: NEWSBREAK! It’s called YouTube, assholes! And it’s got just about every video ever, plus tons of live, unreleased and otherwise unofficial stuff you’d never air. The idea of a TV station being relevant to music in 2008 is about as good as the idea of traveling to California… by horse and buggy. You’re hopelessly out of date. Especially for metal. Deal with it.

Anyway… said new(ish) channel has launched an ad campaign that attempts to invoke ’80s and ‘90s nostalgia — in anyone that was alive and watched the original MTV when they still played videos — by bringing back the classic modified-MTV-logo theme retrofitted with band imagery sure to invoke just that nostalgia. This includes some of our favorite heavies, notably Metallica (above), as well as Guns N’ Roses, Nine Inch Nails and Stone Temple Pilots, pictured after the jump.

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In addition to the stuff we get in the mail and in our inboxes from record labels and publicists, we’re constantly inundated with request from unsigned band to check out their band and review their material on the site. Nothing wrong with this — personally I love sorting through them to find that one diamond in the rough. But I have to say, these bands’ pitches range from perfectly respectful to downright idiotic.

Several weeks ago “Mike” emailed us asking advice for how his friend’s metal band, talented but discouraged due to lack of recognition, could get themselves on the track to success. It’s a question we get frequently. Inspired by perhaps a bit too much coffee, I responded with a lengthy missive about what unsigned bands should and shouldn’t do, covering everything from recording to shows to press to everything in between. Below I’ve reprinted the email I sent Mike with a few minor edits. My hope is that bands can use this as some sort of a guide to get themselves on the right track. With lots of hard work, you will be noticed! And if not, well, time to perhaps consider that career in burger-flipping.

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