MetalSucks

Last week one of you accused us of being a “bunch of negative miserable fucks.” I can only assume that this person had never been to this site before, and was somehow unaware that it’s called “MetalSucks.”

Still, this was probably the best worst week ever, because:

• Devin Townsend took over our site for a day!
• We finally got around to making MetalSucks t-shirts and hoodies!
• Vince interviewed Between the Buried and Me’s Dan Briggs for the third time in as many years!
• There’s gonna be a new Pig Destroyer album in 2010!
• There’s a new Sigh song!
• Varg Vikernes came out of the closet!

So, see? LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

In conclusion:

Have a good weekend.

-AR

Today was Friday the 13th, but absolutely nothing bad happened to me. I mean, the night is young so shit could still go horribly awry I suppose, but all in all, I had a pretty good day – nay, I had a pretty good week. If only the same could be said for the world of metal. Here’s some disasters the plagued various musicians this week:

• Slash completed his decade-long indoctrination into the Metallica “Fuck Our Fans” Club.
• We’re not sure if Steven Tyler is still in Aerosmith or not, but we are sure that we don’t give a fuck either way.
• There was a lot of controversy over a really, really ugly painting.
• No can explain to me why I should care about Alter Bridge.
• Fear Faction ate s’more babies, released a new song.
• R.I.P. Jerry Fuchs.

And, oh yeah, some good news: MetalSucks is going to do a digital release of The Binary Code’s Suspension of Disbelief on December 15 for just five bucks! Get stoked.

Alright. I’m off to go hear Vince spin. Have a nice weekend everyone. Next week we have another extra, super-duper special surprise for you…

-AR

Holy shit. I wasn’t even out that late last night, but for some reason I am just so tired today that it feels like nothing is really happening. Am I really typing this? Did I really write something positive about Zakk Wylde? Can I please just go to sleep now? I’m just gonna go to sleep now.

Before I do, here’s some things that happened this week:

• We’re giving away a free download of Katatonia’s new song, “Forsaker.”
• We spoke to Hypocrisy’s Peter Tagtgren and Brian Cook from Russian Circles and These Arms Are Snakes.
• We checked out new releases from Slayer and Jesu.
• Otep Shamaya gives women in metal a good name – too bad she won’t be a woman much longer.
• Leaves’ Eyes singer Liv Kristine gives women in metal a bad name – or, at least, a silly one.

Alright, seriously, night-night time for Axl. I think Gary Suarez is going to the NYC Vader gig tomorrow; if anyone sees him there, give him a dead arm for me.

-AR

Tomorrow is Halloween. This is great news, because it means that come Sunday (or Monday) people will finally fucking stop talking about Halloween. So sick of it already. When did I become so curmudgeonly? I’m gonna make a hell of an old man. Here’s what went down this week:

• Danzig drummer Chuck Biscuits died. Oh wait, no he didn’t.
• We debuted a new Mudvayne track and we posted live photos from Satyricon and Goatwhore/Eyehategod shows.
• We analyzed the business models of Earache and Roadrunner Records.
• The Boner Tour 2010 has been announced.
• Bison B.C.’s Dan And wrote two tour blogs for us while Horse the Band’s Lord Gold told us about women in diners.
• We spoke with Jucifer’s Amber Valentine and James Plodkin from Jodis.
• We’re giving away a buncha BTBAM shit and celebrating the release of their new album.
• We got all creative writing on your ass.

Our very own Corey Mitchell is gonna be on TV this weekend; he’ll be appearing on E!’s “20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders” on Saturday night at 6:00pm EST/5:00PM CST. In addition to his duties as the resident Mansion old fart, Corey writes books about true crime and is a respected authority on the matter so it should be an interesting (and br00tal) watch. Have a good weekend everyone.

There’s a lyric in the song “Hour of Rats” from Fed Through the Teeth Machine, the album by The Red Chord, and this particular lyric has really taken hold in my brain as of late: “WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER TOO LONG TO BE FRIENDS.” What a simple, beautiful statement that I can 110% relate to these days. Hm.

Speaking of The Red Chord…

• We’re streaming The Red Chord’s new album, Fed Through the Teeth Machine, through Monday! It’s awesome, so definitely give it a listen, then go buy it when Metal Blade releases it on Tuesday, October 27! We also spoke to The Red Chord’s Mike “Gunface” McKenzie.
• We got a European tour wrap-up from Chimaira’s Mark Hunter, had a nice chat with Kowloon Walled City’s Jason Pace, and even played nice with Oceano’s Andrew Mikhail.
• Lord Gold from Horse the Band graced us with another awesome tour blog, Eyal discussed physical CDs, and Dallas explored the evolution and importance of deathcore.
• We checked out new releases from Converge, Ancestors, and Smite the Righteous.
• Janet Reno quit Attack Attack!
• We’re fairly certain that Dave Mustaine is still a Megadick. Actually, we’re positive.

Have a good weekend everyone…

-AR

Pretty big week here at the MetalSucks Mansion. We laughed, we cried, we fired someone, we rocked out with our cocks out. Here’s a rundown of the highlights:

• We debuted a new song by The Devin Townsend Project, a new video by Skeletonwitch, a new song by Javelina, and the cover art for Sigh’s new album.
• Horse the Band’s Lord Gold blogged about Nawlins and cocaine, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle gave us an exclusive statement about that whole cup throwing incident, Dallas Coyle is giving away music for free, and Daath’s Eyal Levi talked about a run-in with the Polacks and drum triggers.
• We spoke to Dethklok’s Brendon Small, Converge’s Jacob Bannon, Gojira’s Joe Duplantier, and Liturgy’s Hunter Hunt-Hendrix.
• We checked out new releases from Baroness, The Red Chord, Skeletonwitch, Immortal, Vains of Jenna, Vampire Mooose, and Javelina. Also, some asshole really likes Oceano.
• We’re sponsoring the incredibly awesome Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 with Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis, and Mutiny Within!

Alright. I’m going to see Where the Wild Things Are now. I’m fairly certain that it is going to make me weep like Gary Suarez. See ya Monday.

-AR

It was a fuckin’ busy week, no? Either shit was crazy this week or I’ve really got to get outside of the MS Mansion more often. Here’s what went down:

• We announced a Winter U.S. tour featuring four bands TBA, and we revealed them day by day via anonymous interviews. So far we’ve revealed Mutiny Within, Arsis and Exodus (click the band name for the interview). Who will the headliner be? Read the interview here and try to guess.
• Eyal got burnt out on the music he loves and explained the financial realities of being a metal musician.
• We spoke with 3 Inches of Blood’s Shane Clark and White Wizzard’s Erik Kluiber.
• Horse the Band’s Lord Gold blogged about being bored on tour.
• We argued about drum triggering in metal.
• We streamed the asshole-ripping new record by The Destro and a webisode from Steel Panther.
• We said goodbye to Evile bassist Mike Alexander. R.I.P.

Ax and I are going to see 3 Inches of Blood in Brooklyn tonight, so hopefully that’ll provide just the head-clearing I need. See you guys Monday.

-VN

Monday (actually sun down Sunday, but whatever) is Yom Kippur, which is the Jewish day of repentance. As you can imagine, I have a lot to repent for, so I won’t be doing any writing. Vince may or may not be here to give all the goy their bored-at-work dose of entertainment.

In the meantime, here are some fun things that happened this week:

• Dallas Coyle talked about “borrowing ideas” and talking shit, while Eyal Levi contemplated greener grass (not that kind of grass).
• We spoke to Every Time I Die’s Andy Williams and some of the dudes from Periphery.
• We suffered through the worst Metallica cover ever recorded.
• We wondered if Juggalos should be considered a gang.
• And it’s Gojira and Burst live FTW.

See ya Tuesday.

-AR

Eatsa! Last night Axl and I let our Worst Week Ever duties fall to the wayside in favor of drinking ourselves silly and gorging ourselves at the annual San Gennaro festival in Little Italy. The menu for me: Mozzarepa, a giant rice ball (with meat and peas), part of a Brociola, a hot Italian sausage and half a dozen raw clams. Most metal moment: the old Neapolitan guido who sold me the sausage making fun of me for eating a Sicilian rice ball, and then calling all Sicilian men gay. Only in New York.

Oh, what’s that, this is a metal website? Events of the past week:

• We spoke with Living Colour’s Vernon Reid, Protest the Hero’s Tim Millar, and Thrice drummer Riley Breckenridge.
• The Great Katt was the completely fucknuts Courtney Love of her generation.
• We pontificated on the “differences” between Wigger Slam and Deathcore.
• Between the Buried and Me released a new track for free streaming, and another one leaked.
• The Super Mario Bros. got metal.
• Poison the Well had all of their earthly possessions stolen.
• Rammstein got completely pornographic with their new video, cum shot and all.
• The Big Four Tour might actually happen.
• We streamed exclusive new tracks by The Destro and Revocation.
• Emmure and The Acacia Strain got to blows.

Have a good one… see ya Monday.

-VN

It’s Labor Day weekend here in the U.S., which means we’re shuttering the Mansion early this week, and won’t be back ’til Tuesday. We’re sure you’ll find some way to live without us.

Here’s some shit that happened this week:

• We debuted a new track from Salome.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima sent in his final guest-blog from the studio, and revealed the track listing for the band’s upcoming album, Scenes from Hell.
• We chatted with Trivium’s Matt Heafy, The Black Dahlia Murder’s Trevor Strnad, Job for a Cowboy’s Brent Riggs, and All That Remains’ Phil LaBonte.
• We celebrated the triumphant return of Beavis & Butt-Head, and decided that in their particular relationship, Vince is the Beavis to Axl’s Butt-Head.
• Tom Araya thinks Dave Mustaine is a dick, Kerry King thinks Dave Mustaine is a dick, Scott Ian thinks Kerry King is a dick, and everyone in Dimmu Borgir thinks that everyone else in Dimmu Borgir is a dick.

Alright. I’m going to enjoy a little sunshine while I still can. See ya Tuesday!

-AR

After Eyal’s blog getting everyone to introduce themselves, I e-mailed him to thank him. I told him that the old cliché is true – genius is the simple idea that no one has ever thought of. And he’d brought the community together. I literally used the words “This could be the dawn of a new era on MetalSucks.”

And then I wished Dimebag a happy posthumous birthday and total fucking war broke out.

With all due respect to people who don’t like Dime or Pantera – to say that he wasn’t popular and influential prior to his death is just plain wrong. It’s like saying that grass is pink and clouds are purple and Obama’s health care reform involves death panels for senior citizens. It just has no basis in reality whatsoever.

Here are some other head-scratchers that emerged this week:

• Justin A.W. wants to know why Gary Suarez writes for us. I want to know why Justin A.W. keeps visiting this site and leaving comments if he hates us so much. I also want to know where anyone with “Trustkill” in their e-mail address gets off questioning our credibility.
• NoCowNoFood says “Dude if yall dont have Dtv or Dish Network/ u guys are fucking broke.” There’s a huge leap of logic there, man. But you tried to link to Solid State Records and failed, so I do think we can safely assume that you’re an idiot.
• Dave B accused us running a scam on you guys to get demographic info. Actually, Dave, we just wanted your information. So that we can we better understand how to avoid you.
• Zilty says that his “one prerequisite is that the music has to be good.” But I’ve listened to every band Zilty has recommended, and they all sound more or less like a thousand other bands in their respective genres, except less famous. So I think it’s more accurate to say that Zilty’s one prerequisite is that they have to be semi-obscure (and I stress “semi”). In any case, I guess we’ll “learn” more when he’s running the site next Friday.
• Shinaain thinks that Rick Springfield is the shit. Actually, I think she’s right and I have nothing bad to say about her. And now I know that she’s a she, because we scammed you all into giving us your demographic info. Next up: putting you all on an annoying mailing list and selling your e-mails to porn sites.

I’m gonna go listen to some Pantera now. Because they weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed, but they did make awesome music that influenced an entire generation of metal bands.

-AR

I listened to the new Skeletonwitch album, Breathing the Fire, last night, and guess what? It pwns. THAT’S RIGHT, BALLS666. I’M GOING TO SAY “PWN” AS MUCH AS I FUCKING LIKE. YOU THINK THAT’S WORTH KILLING ME OVER?!? COME AND GET ME, COCKSUCKER.

Here’s some other shit that went down this week:

• As the headline says, Daath’s Eyal Levi is MVP for the week.
• We enjoyed an exclusive mp3 from Weekend Nachos.
• We spoke to a surprisingly upbeat Nergal from Behemoth.
• Holy shit, Sammy O’Hagar almost liked the new Winds of Plague album. Almost.
• R.I.P. Les Paul.

I’m going to see District 9 now. Have a good weekend, everyone.

-AR

It’s 4 pm, and right about now we’re either interviewing someone or other or watching Job for a Cowboy. Either way, I hope we’re having a fun time.

Here’s what happened in MetalSucks Land this week:

• We’re streaming Iron Age’s The Sleeping Eye in its entirety!
• Current Coheed & Cambria/former Dillinger Escape Plan drummer Chris Pennie discussed metal with us.
• Daath’s Eyal Levi is home for tour and very busy blogging for us.
• Our girl Grim Kim visited Birmingham, England, the birthplace of metal.
• We checked out the latest releases from Assjack and Dysrhythmia.
• It looks Ozzy has hired Firewind’s Gus G. to replace Zakk Wylde. And that got us thinking about the legacies of former Ozzy axe slingers Jake E. Lee and Joe Holmes.

Have a good weekend, everybody. I know I will.

-AR

Now the nausea’s
In my guts
And I’m wrestling with doubt
The kind you get when your heroes
Sell you out
And as I watch the drawbridge come down
There’s mass extinction
On my mind
Human cruelty stains my thoughts jet black
I’ve got this feeling
Like things have gone too far and now we can’t get back

Here’s more fun shit that happened in the world of metal this week:

• We debuted new videos from Cradle of Filth and Arsonists Get All the Girls.
• We got exclusive tour blogs from Bison B.C.’s Dan And and Woe of Tyrants’ Chris Catanzaro.
• We spoke to members of Winds of Plague, Decrepit Birth and Born of Osiris.
• I counted down 50 things I love about Pig Destroyer, and then added a 51st.
• Ulrich Vs. Mustaine Vs. Ian and Zakk Vs. Ozzy made us laugh with glee.
• Kerry King Vs. Killswitch Engage was pretty funny, too.
• Dallas Coyle answered more of your questions.

Vince gets back from vacation tonight right around the time Repulsion take the stage, and then tomorrow, hopefully, Craig’s List will lead us to some Tool tickets. See ya Monday!

-AR

I’ve gotten a few e-mails today from people asking me where Vince is. Well, the truth is, Vince can’t write because he’s ill. And he’s quitting the site. No, really, he quit. We didn’t fire him. Swear it. We stand by that statement.

Here’s some other shit that happened in the world of metal this week:

• We’ve heard the new Alice in Chains album, and it is good.
• Gwar’s Oderus Urungus answered some of your questions, and will answer more in the future.
• John Bush is coming back to Anthrax because Dan Nelson quit. Oh, wait, no he didn’t. Yes he did. He probably didn’t, though.
• We spoke with Poison the Well’s Ryan Primack and Sunn O)))’s Greg Anderson.
• We checked out the latest releases from He Is Legend, Magrudergrind, Novembers Doom, and Clutch.
• Unfortunately, the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos really is a real thing.
• Baby-eater Dino Cazares must be stopped!!!

Alright. Time to go buy a vaporizer of my very own. See ya Monday.

-AR

Alright, people. I feel like fucking death. I just wanna go lie down and hopefully never wake up. Let’s get this over with:

• We finally finished the goddamn motherfucking list with “Albums We Wish Had Made It” entries from my man Vince (Soilwork’s Natural Born Chaos) and my girl Amy Sciarretto (DEP’s not-really-eligible Calculating Infinity).
• We got another exclusive world tour video tour diary from Misery Index. We also spoke with Johnny Kelly of Type O Negative and Seventh Void and got our bro-bros at Thrash Hits to do a video interview with Trigger the Bloodshed for us. Thanks, dudes.
• We lost IQ points just watching this video interview with the singer of Attack! Attack!
• We have it on good authority that there’s gonna be an Acid Bath reunion.
• Dallas Coyle is now answering your questions.
• So is Gwar’s Oderus Urungus.

We’ll be at Summer Slaughter on Sunday. If any of you spot us and want to buy us a drink, please, for the love of all things holy, don’t.

-AR

HOLY SHIT, you guys are never gonna believe what just happened. I ran out to buy a pack of cigarettes, and as I was walking down the street, I saw a huge EXPLOSION! I looked up and there was this little girl sticking her head out the window, screaming for help. So I climbed up the wall of the building, rescued the little girl AND her kitty, and then just went about my day like nothing happened! The little girl offered me free cupcakes for life, ha ha! I am awesome. Don’t look to read about this anywhere but here, though, as, uh, sometimes superheroic deeds such as this go unreported.

Here’s some other shit that happened this week:

• We’ve got exclusive full-album streams; the latest from Judas Priest and Arsonists Get All the Girls! Check ‘em out before they’re released on Tuesday.
• We finally completed the list, and then some.
• As it turns out, Devin Townsend often enters in our “funny photo caption” contests. We spoke to some members of Kylesa, too!
• We checked out the latest releases from Warbringer, Slough Feg, Obituary and Goatwhore.
• The folks at Limewire want to share your music, but not their pizza.

Don’t forget that I’ll be on the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 10 PM EST. Listen in, call in, whatever. Just show me some love, you dicks.

-AR

For those of you not from the U.S. and somehow completely unaware of this, the Fourth of July is a pretty big deal here in America. On that day, we celebrate winning our freedom by kicking the British’s ass. Of course, they later gave us Hugh Grant, so I guess they had their revenge in the end.

So there won’t be any posts tomorrow; on Monday, we’ll unveil the last albums on the list. In the meantime, here’s some things that happened this week in the world of MetalSucks:

• We continued to countdown the 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far. You continued to engage in, um, intelligent debate. Yeah, let’s call it intelligent debate.
• We spoke with Goatwhore’s Ben Falgoust and Black Math Horseman’s Sera Timms.
• We checked out new releases from Killswitch Engage and Havok.
• Daath’s Eyal Levi took a break from worrying about dying in fiery plane or car crash to worry about getting shot.
• We debated the merits of the new Alice in Chains song.
• We laughed at high school year book photos of past and present members of Metallica.

I plan to not be sober for the next 72 hours. See ya Monday!

-AR

It’s raining in New York today. AGAIN. At least it’s warm; it’s been fucking rainy and cold for all of June (seriously… hoodie weather in June??). I feel like I’ve been cheated out of an entire month of summer. Fuck the world.

Here’s what happened this week:

• More arguing ensued over our 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far list. You bitched and moaned to the tune of 444 comments (and counting) about the #11 pick of Deftones’ White Pony — just as you did last week with the debatably metal Tool (#12) and System of a Down (#14) picks — and then when we finally announced more trve/cvlt/br00tal albums you approved of (#10 Opeth, #9 Gojira, and #8 In Flames), comments were few and far between by comparison. You people are fucking morons. Especially Ziltoid.
• Rumors flew about the resuscitation of Headbanger’s Ball in 2010 with Jose Mangin as the host.
• More shit-talking between the two sparring Fear Factory camps provided us with endless amusement. We wondered aloud whether or not FF should be considered nu-metal.
• Shinedown’s Brent Smith claimed to have insider knowledge of a Soundgarden reunion, to which Axl — and possibly but not definitely Soundgarden’s own Ben Shepherd — took offense.
• We spoke with Scott Kelly of Neurosis and Vinnie Fucking Paul.

We out. Stay tuned in a couple of hours for our #7 Best Metal Album of the 21st Century… So Far. I’ll be at tomorrow night’s Black Anvil show at the new Duff’s location in Brooklyn if anyone wants to come out and hang. See you next week for more shenanigans!

So I just watched Faith No More’s Download Fest perf. I only saw one pair of boobies, and they were terrible boobies. On the other hand, FNM killed it and played “Take This Bottle” and Patton did part of “We Care A Lot” while doing sit-ups with the mic in his mouth, so ya take the good with the bad.

Speaking of the good with the bad: we started to unveil the results of our 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far poll/list this week, and as usual, y’all had something to say about it:

• SP420 thinks it’s “unbelievable that so many people hold” the #17 album, Hatebreed’s Perseverance, “in such high regard.” Sp420, Jamey Jasta will be at your house in one hour to discuss.
• ionlanach thinks that the #18 album, Lamb of God’s New American Gospel, is “Mediocre, just like everything Lamb of God have ever done.” Even Randy Blythe’s BBQ sauce is offended
• I hate you thinks that if the #19 album, Mastodon’s Remission, “was your first metal album, you are gay” and that “metal is obviously not your fortay.” In other news, I hate you doesn’t know how to spell “forté” correctly.
• Fufkin calls the #20 album, Shadows Fall’s The War Within, “metalbore.” While I don’t agree with him (her?), that’s just clever enough for me not to make fun of Fufkin.
• Robert thinks that the #21 album, Slipknow’s Vol 3: The Subliminal Verses, is “sort of a pile of shit.” Which leads me to wonder: at what point does something go from being “sort of” a pile of shit to, y’know, an actual pile of shit?

Next week we’re countin’ down albums #16 through #12. The picks are clearly either gonna make you guys really fuckin’ happy or really fuckin’ mad. I’ll give you a hint, though: they’re all metal albums.

-AR