MetalSucks

Vince, Kip, and Anton OyVey are all down at SXSW, but don’t worry about lil’ old me; Higgins and I got shit covered. Here’s what happened in the world of metal this week:

• We all finally got to hear the new Mastodon album! Needless to say, intense debate ensued.
• We spoke to Wolves in the Throne Room drummer Aaron Weaver and Lazarus A.D. bassist/vocalist Jeff Paulick.
• No penis? No Dir En Grey!
• Is this new Teagan and Sara shirt metal as fuck, or total hipster bull pucky?
• The Megatallica rivalry continued as we watched Dave Mustaine kill on Jeopardy and Lars Ulrich eat it on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
• Fieldy = Jesus
  
• Read Vince’s initial SXSW reports here and here!

Alright-y, then. Higgins and I are off to make like chimneys and blow smoke. See ya Monday!

-AR

You bitched and moaned about daylight savings time, even though you were asleep when the clocks changed and you get an extra hour of daylight every day until November. You are all retards.

Here’s what else happened this week:

• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima gave us another studio report (no naked Dr. Mikannibal pics, sorry), Early Man’s Mike Conte got his cheesesteak on, and Neuraxis’ Alexandre Leblanc gave us his final tour blog.
• We spoke with Darkane’s Christofer Malmstrom, Meshuggah’s Marten Hagstrom, Soilwork’s Peter Wichers and Ross the Boss (ex-Manowar)
• Our man-crush on Trent Reznor grew ever greater.
• You argued over who was the most important member of Metallica, past and present.
• We looked at new releases by Razor of Occam and Karl Sanders.
• It was a big week in the Norwegian courts… the Gorgoroth case was settled, and Varg was granted parole.
• Crazytown and Skunk Anansie are getting back together.

Next week Kip and I take off for Austin, TX on Wednesday. We’ll be live-blogging whenever possible. To everyone else, have fun not being there, suckazzz!!

-VN

It snowed 8 inches in NYC on Monday, but we got back from the Scion Rock Fest in Atlanta just in time to deliver you our usual drudge report. Can you imagine if we’d been stranded? No MetalSucks for two days. What would you have done? Contemplate these noteworthy events of the week as you get ready to enjoy your weekend (65 degrees Sunday in NYC!):

• Mastodon release early contender for best metal video of ‘09.
• Watchmen got metal… or not.
• We spoke with NEMHF founder Scott Lee.
• Lamb of God and God Forbid make strong Soundscan debuts.
• We looked at new releases from Hatesphere, Wolves in the Throne Room, Abacabb, Centaurus-A and General Surgery.
• Chimaira released a new single and a super-duper-deluxe pre-order.
• We waxed ecstatic about the weed in Atlanta… oh yeah, and some bands played at the Scion Rock Fest too.
• Doc Coyle struck back at the Internet.
• MetalSucks got nominated for a Metal Hammer “Web of Death” Award!

So Axl and I are shuttering up the gates to the MS Mansion when we get wind that there’s a new Lamb of God video for “Set to Fail” available. Fucking BAD ASS!!!

Before this event of over-arching importance occurred, here’s what we would’ve said was important this week:

• We spoke with Salome’s Aaron Deal and Chimaira’s Mark Hunter.
• No Ozzfest this year. We don’t buy the excuse that it’s because Ozzman’s working on a new album, but at least the Osbournes will be making asses of themselves on national TV again… oh wait.
• We watched Mastodon in the recording studio while we falsely assumed a new track of theirs appeared in a videogame trailer. No matter; Crack the Skye is coming March 24th and there’s a super-special limited edition package available for pre-order.
• Limp Bizkit announced their inevitable reunion. With Wes Borland. No surprise.
• We joined Twitter. Webernets, watch out!
• We looked at new releases by Scale the Summit, Obscura and the new DVD by Dir En Grey. The world previewed the new God Forbid record… and overwhelmingly liked it, by golly! In the Coyle Commune annex of the MS Mansion, Dallas slyly grinned while tapping his fingers slowly together and saying, “Exxxxxxcellent.”
• We pontificated the seemingly complete irrelevance of the Grammies and then immediately forgot about them.

Enjoy cuddling up with your shnookums (metal!) on Valentine’s Day tomorrow and celebrating a day called “Presidents Day” — even though no U.S. presidents were actually born on said day — by not going to work on Monday. Seeya Tuesday.

-VN

I’m ’bout to go party at a triple-birthday event then get rowdy at an outdoor winter BBQ tomorrow afternoon (Bacon Explosion, anyone?). But not before I can tell you what went down on MetalSucks this week:

• Dallas broke the silence on Earthsblood and told the “Blabberbitches” to fuck off.
• Zakk Wylde recorded on a Dope song, throwing his last shred of cred out the window. Yeah, Dope.
• Metal Hammer released a shady list of the best death metal songs ever. But at least Metal Hammer is still around: Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs bit the dust for good.
• David Draiman hit the singles market. J-Date.com, here comes the sickness!
• We spoke with Sunn O))) mainman / Southern Lord Records founder Greg Anderson and Sylosis’ Josh Middleton.
• We told you what we think about the new release by Dimension Zero while we asked you what you think about Lamb of God’s latest.
• Sigh’s foxy Dr. Mikannibal got naked and drank cow’s blood.
• We took shots at Camp Kill Yourself and Insane Clown Posse, and their fans took shots at us.

Peace in the mideast.

-VN

Vince and I booked our flight to Atlanta for Scion Rock Fest this week. That’s right: we’re gonna fuck up the ATL, bee-otch! We promise to leave the city in a state comparable to how we found it… although I can’t say the same thing for the members of Pig Destroyer.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit that went down this week:

• We got awesome guest blogs from Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima, Neuraxis’ Rob Milley, and, natch, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable.
• We reviewed new releases by Cannibal Corpse, Napalm Death, Edguy, Giant Squid, Deadlock, Rose Funeral, and Kylesa.
• New music from God Forbid and Buried Inside made us happy.
• The Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival is shaping up to be an ass-kicker.
• The makers of Guitar Hero: Metallica swapped out one Slayer song with insanely violent lyrics for another; suburban mommies everywhere somehow now feel a lil’ bit better.

Alright. It’s Friday night, which means it’s time for me to troll the net pretending not to be Tripp Eisen so I can screw me a young ‘un. Horns.

-AR

Finally… we have a capable, intelligent, forward-thinking new U.S. president. No, it’s not Dave Mustaine. Here’s what else happened this week:

• We wondered aloud and speculated about Slayer’s co-headline tour, New England Metal & Hardcore Fest, Scion Rock Fest (aka Atlanta Metalfest), and The Faceless’ headline tour. This spring just got awesome.
• We ran to the hills to avoid a shitty classic metal cover. Meanwhile, we found Iron Maiden in Iran and on the big screen.
• We got sexi(vious) with members of Cynic and Textures.
• We looked at new releases from Satyricon, Cattle Decapitation, 16 and Rumpelstiltskin Grinder.
• Maynard got all Jiu-Jitsu on our asses and Carcass played a wedding.

Axl, myself and our girlfriends (we have girlfriends… whowouldathunkit???) are going to see The Dark Knight on the IMAX tonight. Hopefully weed will be involved. Later, suckaz!!

Next week the U.S. gets a new President, thank fucking God, and Relapse Records is celebrating by issuing a 7″ box set of their This Comp Kills Fascists compilation. How fucking awesome is that? Until then, here’s what we’ll mull over during the long weekend (MLK day in the U.S.):

• Would you like to suck my cock, Berzerker? Or would you just like to look at some bloody titties, Berzerker?
• Lamb of God announce most awesomest tour ever with As I Lay Dying (meh), Children of Bodom, God Forbid and Municipal Waste, while Killswitch Engage, Chimaira and Lacuna Coil will be worth the ticket price as long as we leave before Disturbed goes on.
• Best soundboard ever. (Hint: fun with David Lee Roth sound bites)
• Bring Me The Hair Irons Horizon continued being boring.
• We spoke with Gojira’s Joe Duplantier and Animosity’s Leo Miller.
• Behemoth’s Nergal showed his face, while this dude just buried his in a bunch of watermelons.

It may be a new year on the calendar, but we’re still talking about the same stupid shit here at MetalSucks. Here’s where we focused our energies this week:

• Most awesomest metal festival EVARRR! Not to be confused with the most awesomest tours of early 2009.
  
• New music from Cannibal Corpse!!!
• Mastodon counted down to a new website while Trent Reznor counted down to giving away approximately 400 Gigs of HD concert footage for fans to tinker with.
• We questioned Drew Barrymore’s interest in metal and demanded she take off her shirt.
• We spoke with members of All Shall Perish and Job For a Cowboy.
• Mike Schleibaum declared The Crown’s Deathrace King underrated while Dallas claimed music critics are overrated.
• Can’t anyone make a decent heavy metal TV show?
• One Roadrunner Records staffer named MetalSucks.net the #10 best album of 2008.

Later, gators…

Monday was 2008 Sucks day here at MetalSucks, but we rocked out the rest of the week with some ridiculous shit as per usual:

• We announced our best-of lists for 2008. Check ‘em out.
• Contest: You tell us why you hate the holidays, we send you 100 CDs. Sweet deal.
• PA woman tortures kitties with piercings.
• We spoke with Misery Index’s Jason Netherton and Three Inches of Blood’s Cam Pipes.
• Corporate rock still sells, but Chinese Democracy apparently doesn’t.
• We hated on this band, this band and this band, the latter of whom sent their fans here in droves to hate us back.
• We wondered whether Roadrunner Records actually dropped Amanda Palmer because of her “belly fat” (hint: they didn’t even drop her).
• God Forbid released the cover artwork and tracklisting of Earthsblood, and Pack of Wolves (ex-At All Cost member) released new music.

Tonight it’s new The End Records-signees Hull for Kip and me. Have a good one, everybody.

This coming Monday the entire MetalSucks staff will each release Top 10 lists for the entire year in metal of 2008. Get psyched! Things have been slowing down here at the MS Mansion as the holidays approach, but we still found ways to keep it fun this week:

• Axl Rose finally did some press to support Chinese Democracy… but as usual, there’s an asterisk.
• We debuted a new, exclusive Daath track — a medley of Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Dying Fetus covers.
• We interviewed members of Clutch, Bison B.C., Dir En Grey, and Fear Factory / Arkaea.
• Job For a Cowboy’s Jonny Davy blogged about urination and hotel trashing, while Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum’s guest blog claimed that Entombed’s Uprising and Morning Star are two of the most underrated albums of all time. Oh, and The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogged about sleep.
• Gojira’s Joe Duplantier orders you to stop the killing of baby seals but apparently has no problem with ripping New York City a new arsehole.
• Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless = The Erection Tour of 2009.
• The metal industry lost a kindred soul. R.I.P. Adrian Bromley.

It was a crazy week at the MS Mansion. Vince passed out in the bathroom after a 48 hour coke binge only to be awakened by Axl, whom, after coming home that morning from a strip club with The Blogronaut and Dallas, was viciously attacked by a bunch of angry Hinder fans stalking him outside the MS Mansion gates. Actually, none of that happened. But here’s what did:

• Axl offered up a bounty on Hinder’s Austin Winkler.
• Chinese Democracy leaked, and almost two decades of waiting finally ended.
• Whitechapel became the new controversial band du’jour.
• The Faceless killed it on the Soundscan charts.
• Today Is the Day’s Steve Austin’s house almost burned down.
• A video of a fat kid singing along to Dimmu Borgir. Nuff said.
• Vince went Jew on Jew with Genghis Tron’s Mookie Singerman, only to find out he’s not as Jewish as he once claimed.
• Tommy Lee reformed Methods of Mayhem and Vince Neil announced plans for another solo record, sans Steve Stevens. We scratched our heads.

We’ll see you next week, albeit it’ll be an abbreviated one due to the Thanksgiving holiday here in the U.S. Toodles.

Mostly this week I just watched the Puppy Cam. But when I could pry myself away for a few moments, this is what I focused on:

• Proto-jazz-metallers Intronaut released an artsy new video, as did Protest the Hero and Dir En Grey.
• We interviewed Brother Von Doom.
• Ozzy may be pretty good at shilling for Samsung phones these days, but we still like him better the old way.
• Arsis did some member-swapping. Yes, again.
• We reviewed new releases from The Faceless, The Bronx, and a bunch of awesome bands on Prosthetic Records.
• We contemplated the prospect of new releases by Carcass, Napalm Death and Down.

Party it up, it’s the weekend. See you next Tuesday Monday.

The United States has a brilliant new President in Mr. Barack Obama, and here we are debating whether or not Christians can make tr00 black metal. What can I say? Here are some other things that happened this week:

• We debuted new music from The Giraffes.
• Marilyn Manson splits with young, ghostly-looking female, contemplates future life (hint: it probably involved another ghostly-looking female 20 years his junior).
• Mastodon divulge some details about their new album (hint: lots of drugs had to have been involved).
• Sammy O’Hagar interviewed Enslaved’s Grutle Kjellson and Vince went Jew on Jew with Daath’s Eyal Levi.
• Deftones bassist Chi Cheng was in a tragic car accident and remains in a coma. Godspeed.
• Stoner legends Sleep announce reunion shows; as Led Zep contemplates life without Robert Plant, we pray to God that decision doesn’t spawn a Creed reunion.

Til Monday…

The Phillies won the World Series, it’s Halloween, and we have a U.S. presidential election coming up in less than a week. But what’s happening in metal is obviously way more important:

• Living Colour ruled. As always.
• Mastodon announced the title and tracklisting of their new album.
• We spoke with Cynic’s Paul Masvidal and Today Is the Day’s Steve Austin, the latter of whom practically gave us his life story.
• Gaahl publicly acknowledged his homosexuality. Black metal bigots everywhere cried outrage, but we thought it was pretty cool (kvlt/br00tal/tr00/etc).
• Slayer released a new song which sounds just like the old song(s). And that’s a good thing.
• Someone with way too much time made an AC/DC music video in an Excel spreadsheet

Happy Halloween, mofos.

Apropos of nothing, we just wanna say: PLEASE DON’T SEE SAW V THIS WEEKEND. It’s time for that stupid fucking franchise to die already. If you’re in the mood for a horror movie because Halloween is coming up, there’s better fucking things you can rent. For fuck’s sake, just watch John Carpenter’s original Halloween again. Just don’t send the message that we want more of these inane fucking movies.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit that happened in the world of metal this week.

• Guns N’ Roses finally sent a single to radio and confirmed the release of Chinese Democracy. Enough of you cared enough to tell us you don’t care.
• We interviewed Opeth and 3. Progginess ensued.
• God Forbid’s new album got a title!
• Winds of Plague’s Kristen Randall thinks she’s Gloria Steinem. Thinking logical human beings everywhere strongly disagree.

Join us next week, same bat time, same bat channel!

Things are heating up in the U.S. presidential race, and everyone from Vince to Axl to Dallas to the Blogronaut expressed their opinions; naturally you all got fired up too. But even politics as usual couldn’t stop the flow of happenings this week in the world of metal:

• Dallas apologized. Woah.
• Best Buy claims Chinese Democracy is finally coming out, but we’re skeptical. No word yet from Axl Rose.
• We debuted a new Early Man track and spoke with singer/guitarist Mike Conte, while Nathan Ells of the Human Abstract spilled the beans on just about everything.
• Testament was deemed one of the Top 40 greatest thrash bands of all time.
• We loved new albums from Gojira and Psycroptic. You loved arguing about them even more, especially the former. Meanwhile, new releases from Unearth and Cradle of Filth proved controversial.
• Protest the Hero’s van broke down; they danced.
• AC/DC’s Brian Johnson proved himself old and out of touch, but that didn’t stop us from asking for freebies to see his band live.

We out. See you Monday.

The economy’s in the shitter and the sun is setting earlier and earlier every day. Still, there was reason to rejoice this week in the world of metal:

• The members of Twisted Sister are apparently now willing to “take it.”
• We interviewed Dani Filth of Cradle of Filth, Ronny Munroe of Metal Church, and Brian Fair of Overcast / Shadows Fall.
• Dallas raged against the McCain machine (as did the Foo Fighters). You raged against Dallas.
• Crikey! Scar Symmetry hire two new vocalists to take the place of one.
• Scars on Broadway call off their tour; we call bullshit.
• FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. And Fuck.
• Gojira got heavy in every sense of the word.
• Bam Bam Bigelow + Marty Jannetty = ’80s Vinnie Paul.

Sayonara suckers. See you next week.

-VN

I don’t mean to belittle our own website and/or community, but if the events of the past few weeks have taught us anything, it’s that there’s much more important shit going on in the world at large than the world of metal. Time is fast running out to register to vote – THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW!!! – and Vince and I both hope all of you do so if you haven’t already. Regardless of who you vote for, make sure you vote!

Now here’s a rundown of some of our metallic tomfoolery from this week:

• Intronaut guitarist and maverick Sacha Dunable wrote his first blog for MetalSucks. And the dude really needs a job. Won’t someone help out a fellow headbanger in need?
• Some of y’all took issue with maverick Sammy O’Hagar’s review of the new Abigail Williams album. And Sammy took issue with some of you taking issue.
• SIKTH LIVES! Sort of.
• We love Otep as a maverick and a human being. Her music, not so much.
• Dave “Maverick” Mustaine finally announced that big announcement he’s been announcing he’d soon announce. Announce.

‘Til Monday, boys and ghouls… remember to register to vote and stay maverickalicious.

-Maverick

The economy is in shambles, we’re still at war, Sarah Palin is going out of her way to make George Bush look like Albert Einstein. Here’s what’s happened in the world of metal this week:

• Nachtmystium dropped off the Opeth/High on Fire tour; we wept.
• We discovered the band with best second best band name ever.
• Corey Mitchell declared Metal Church > Metallica, you all argued about it.
• In This Moment released a new video.
• And, oh yeah, this is pretty much the best thing ever.

See ya Monday, boys and ghouls. And don’t forget to watch the debate tonight… looks like McCain is actually gonna show up!

-AR