So as it turns out, Periphery have a rather sizable online following. Hm. Who knew?

ANYWAY, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new music by the aforementioned Periphery, as well as Meek is Murder.
• Gwar’s Oderus Urungus answered some more reader questions, and we spoke to Fredrik Andersson from Amon Amarth.
• We checked out the latest releases from Drugs of Faith and Throatruiner Records.
• We reported on all the awesome metalocity at SXSW.
• We wondered if metalheads support gay marriage.
• We offered a retort to Sumerian Records head honcho Ash Avilldsen’s anti-piracy argument.
• We started the “Best of 2011″ argumentswwwaaaaayyyy early.
• We watched the best school assembly ever.
• We wondered why good musicians join terrible bands.
• We steeled ourselves for the release of the worst album of the year.

Alright, have a good frakin’ weekend everyone! See ya Monday.

-AR

Oh my fuck, you guys, IT IS 71 DEGREES OUTSIDE. I was gonna stay home and watch Vanilla Ice’s underrated cinemetallic classic, Cool as Ice, but instead I am getting stoned and going for a long, long walk in the sun. Quickly, before I ditch you losers to actually enjoy life, here’s what we did this week:

• God Forbid’s Doc Coyle weighed-in on Sergeant D.’s “band life is for losers” theory.
• We broke the news that hardcore supergroup S.O.S. has signed with Good Fightand got an exclusive report on the status of He is Legend from the band’s manager.
• We debuted new music by Napalm Death (thanks, Decibel!), The Haunted and Clutch.
• We said cel-lo to Grayceon’s Jackie Perez Gratz and got the skinny on the new Today is the Day album from drummer Curran Reynolds.
• We checked out the latest release from Total Fucking Destruction.
• We wondered if women make better metal singers than men.
• We examined the Kid Rock-Confederate flag controversy.
• We watched the worst video of 2011 so far.
• Dummy Nosenothing listened to the new Meshuggah song and then chased an ice cream truck.
• WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK…

Alright, I’m gonna go have some ice cream! ICE CREAM! YYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!

-AR

I like doing MetalSucks, in part, because I really do learn something new each and every week. You know what I learned this week, for example?

FUCK VAMPIRES.

Here are some other things we learned this week:

• The dudes in Lazarus A.D. like MetalSucks.
• Swamp Thing and Indian have awesome new music coming out.
• The Human Abstract’s A.J. Minette and Travis Richter know a lot about music theory, Mr. Big’s Eric Martin knows a lot about Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and Vicious Rumors’ Geoff Thorpe knows a lot about line-up changes.
• The new Rotten Sound album is choice.
• Earache Records is a good label.
• Kittie are bad at making music videos.
• TesseracT are tardy to the djent party.
• Joey Belladonna still can’t sing.
• Rites of Darkness III is gonna be a great festival for bands no one has ever heard of.
• Losing someone you admire still sucks.

I’ll be flying solo for much of next week as Vince and Kip head down to Austin for SXSW and I stay behind to ensure you are as irritated as possible. Won’t you come back and learn some more with me?

-AR

Hey studs and foxes, Anso here. Please accept my most gracious hugz in return for partying with me these last two days. Running this site in the absence of Axl and Vince has been so superfun thanks to you, our cherished MetalSucks readership. I learned a lot of stuff too, for example that I should hereby refrain from “ass fucking [my] boyfriends cock” [sic]. K I’ll work on that while you all re-live some hilarious, informative, and sexy moments from this week:

• We debuted new music by Maruta.
• We spoke to Rob Arnold from Chimaira/Six Feet Under/The Elite, Jack Strong from The Acacia Strain, Varg Vikernes of Burzum, and Takis Kinis from prog-thrash legends Realm.
• We checked out the latest releases from DevilDriver and Wino. Plus, hot hardcore 7″s and all the stuff that Corey Mitchell rocked in February.
• We reveled in official confirmation of the System of a Down tour story we broke ahead of everybody.
• We proffered scientific evidence that to be in a band is a poor life decision.
• We were wowed by Evan Brewer, player of two basses!
• We peeped Devin Townsend’s nod to Sinatra and incredible new jams from Scale The Summit, Between The Buried And Me, Graviton, and All Shall Perish.
• We cheered Taylor Momsen and her desire to “fuck for Satan.”
• We met the new Dragonforce singer. It’s not Corey Taylor.
• We took a stand against D.R.U.G.S.

You’ll have a couple days to de-Anso yourselves, but please do rush right back to MetalSucks on Monday for more hot action when the bosses return from muling heroin in from Ecuador their business trip and we resume our regularly-scheduled action. You may now put your pants back on!

-ADF

I mean, talk about a snub, right?!?

ANYWAY, tomorrow afternoon, Vince and I will attend the wedding of one of our oldest friends. A guy I have known since I was two years old. The very dude who was by my side the first time I heard Guns N’ Roses. I don’t think he had any idea at the time that I had just headed down a path from which I would never return. He works for a classy magazine now, and wears a suit and tie to work. I do this, and usually do it in boxers and a stinky shirt with some metal band on it.

I don’t have a point or anything. I’m just feeling reflective right now.

And now that I got that out of my system, here’s the rundown of things we did this week:

• We got a tour update from Valient Thorr’s Valient Himself.
• We spoke to Tommy Rogers from Between the Buried and Me, Oppu Laine and Mikko Kotomäki from Barren Earth, Kenn Nardi from Anacrusis, and Mike Riley and Dom Romeo from Pulling Teeth.
• We checked out new releases from As Blood Runs Black, Capsule, and Crucified Mortals and Nunslaughter.
• We checked out the newest lucky band to sign to leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS.
• We made the mistake of following Vinnie Paul onto his tour bus.
• We helped our friends at the Deciblog defend Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy.
• We listened to the worst dubstep metal bastardization yet.
• We got excited about the new Scar Symmetry album.
• We sent out well wishes to Vince Neil while he’s in prison.
• We read some fan mail.

Okay now I’m gonna go pick up my new suit for tomorrow! WHOO-HOO TO BEIN’ A BIG KID! See you peeps Monday.

-AR

It occurred to me sometime this afternoon that Frankie Palmeri may very well read what I wrote about him earlier today, and decide the best course of action is to invite me onto his tour bus to settle our conflict through calm, intelligent discussion, only to sucker punch me when the bus door opens. Thus, I have come with a new rule for life: NEVER GO ONTO A TERRIBLE DEATHCORE BAND’S TOUR BUS. Seems simple enough!

While I contemplate Thanos Bison Reignz coming after me during a solar apocalypse, here’s a rundown of some of the fun shit we did this week:

• We broke the news of new System of a Down tour dates! I’m very proud of Vince for his investigative journalism skills on this one. He’s a regular Carl Bernstein, that one.
• We enjoyed another excellent tour blog from Eluveitie.
• We checked out the new release from Derek Roddy’s Serpents Rise.
• We wondered, “Is Hatebreed the best hardcore band of all time?”
• We whined about the Grammys.
• We made you a totally romantic Valentine’s Day mix.
• We learned the value of telling women we like metal up front.
• We discovered djentstep.
• We likened a Deftones concert riot to a Mad Max movie, ’cause we’re sensitive like that.
• Our friends at Decibel let you hear the previously unreleased Lamb of God tune “Hit the Wall.” Say “Thank you, Decibel.”

So, one last reminder: next week sees the release of Volume 2 of NYC Sucks, our totally free comp collecting awesome bands from the New York area. But if you’re a total sour puss and awesome free music does nothing for you, we’ll have some other fun shit, too. ‘Til then…

-AR

How come Miss Piggy can’t count to 70? ‘Cause every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

ANYWAY, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new videos from DevilDriver and Intronaut.
• We also debuted new music from Battilus and VYGR.
• We started a cool new series of tour blogs from Eluveitie and learned fifteen new things about Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein.
• We spoke to Josh Scogin from The Chariot and Mark LeVine, author of Heavy Metal Islam.
• We checked out the latest releases from Regicide, Dragged Into Sunlight, Macabre, and Abraham.
• We helped Burzum launch a new clothing line.
• We learned a sexy new stage move from Dr. Acula.
• We continued to feel embarrassed for Slash.
• We pleaded with record labels to start using Bandcamp and stop using MySpace.
• We mourned the loss of Guitar Hero.

Speaking of 69ing: Monday is Valentine’s Day. I’m just reminding you in case you’re a burnout and you forgot to get something for your woman. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

-AR

BING! Still funny. Amazing.

I was kinda flattered last week when some people said they actually DO read the intros to “Worst Week.” So, uh, thanks for the ego boost!

In addition to Groundhog Day, here are some things we celebrated this week:

• The debut of new music from Scale the Summit and American Heritage.
• The formation of The Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts.
• The announcement of this year’s line-up for The New Engalnd Metal & Hardcore Festival.
• The legacy of 18 Visions.
• The incredible comedic skills of Rush’s Neil Peart.
• The impending return of Beavis and Butt-Head.
• A new Protest the Hero song.
• Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola’s declaration that musicians shouldn’t be rich.
• Metal Injection’s Black Metal History Month.
• Dime.

Speaking of celebrating — don’t forget that Vince is DJing at Idle Hands Bar from 7 to 10pm tonight. All the cool kids will be there. You wanna be cool, don’t you?

-AR

I don’t think anybody ever really reads these little intros Vince or myself write every week, so I’m gonna dispense with one today, and if that makes you sad, uh, you’re weird.

Here’s how we got our pull this week:

• We debuted new music by Abysmal Dawn, Full Blown Chaos, and Årabrot.
• We spoke to Jeff Paulick from Lazarus A.D. and Ginger from The Wildhearts.
• We checked out new releases from Xasthur, haarp, and Hesper Payne.
• We watched a nerd’s video about seeing Sunn O))).
• We tried to understand why The Big Four are only doing one show in America.
• We debated the merits and demerits of this year’s Mayhem Fest line-up.
• We celebrated the way that metal makes everything better.
• We enjoyed some new All Shall Perish music (kinda).
• We prepared for Zakk Wylde to boldly go where no guitarist has gone before.
• We got even MORE excited for Meek is Murder’s Algorithms.

Next week we’re gonna, like, totally talk about metal n’ stuff. You should come back and read it, it will be fun.

-AR

So 2011 is officially underway! I mean, we’re two full weeks in — time to stop accidentally writing “2010″ as the date on shit, y’know? We started to preview some albums we’re stoked about, and will continue to do so next week. In the meantime, here’s some other fun crap we did this week:

• The Human Abstract’s A.J. Minette continued his discussion regarding the merits of creative limitation.
• We debuted new music by Deicide, Ulcerate, Owen Hart, and Roger Miret.
• We also reviewed the new Owen Hart album.
• We played a metal edition of “Marry, Fuck, Kill” with both chicks and d00dz.
• We checked out some awesome pictures from Vince and the metalgf’s vacation to Amsterdam and Paris.
• We joined the Scotty Griffin Fanclub.
• We confirmed that Tool are the coolest band ever.
• We felt bad for Mike Portnoy.
• We were upset by Wrest’s arrest for sexual assault and domestic battery.
• And while it was news to us until we heard it from Rush Limbaugh, we were apparently responsible for the Tucson shootings.

Next week brings more debuts, more interviews, and more general Suckitude. See ya then.

-AR

We survived the first week of 2011! WHOO-HOO! Only another forty-nine left ’til our next vacation.

Here’s how we rang in the new year:

• The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks tried to earn his contractually-due incentives.
• We spoke to The Funeral Pyre’s John Strachan.
• We showed mortiferous scorn towards the latest release from Mortiferous Scorn.
• We contemplated the not-so-gentle art of the elephants marching riff.
• We celebrated the soundtrack for Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
• We kvelertranslated Kvelertak’s lyrics.
• We couldn’t believe that Kevin Stewart-Panko is defending Cryptopsy’s The Unspoken King now.
• We watched an Asian girl in her bra and panties rub her vagina against a guitar.
• We learned to stop worrying about SARS and start loving horse meat.
• We did not jizz all over Painted in Exile.

The site will be down for a few hours tonight while we make a few upgrades… yep, MetalSucks just keeps getting better and betterer!

Then next week brings an excellent full-album stream and not one, not two, but THREE song debuts, including a brand new track from one of the most legendary death metal bands of all time. Get excited.

-AR

Soooo… this concludes our regular posting for 2010! We might do some posting from time to time in the next two weeks if a) something really major happens or b) one of us has something we just absolutely MUST get off our chest ASAP, but otherwise, we’re basically on vacation. We’d like to thank you all for another great year… and 2011 is gonna be even better.

Until then, amuse yourselves with all of our 2010 End of Year awesomeness if you haven’t already, now gathered in one spot for your convenience:

Click to read more…

It seems like the number of “Why did you ban me from commenting?!?” e-mails from readers has increased as of late, and the gist of those e-mails is often “Whassa matter, can’t take it when someone tells you you suck?” or whatever. And we’ve never banned anyone for disagreeing with us. We don’t give a shit if you disagree with us. We don’t agree with one another half the time — that’s part of the fun of MetalSucks.

Here’s what really happens: you use a word which is on our “no-no” list, and it gets stuck in our spam filter. Some of these words we actively do not allow on MetalSucks (e.g., slurs against minorities), and some of them just get stuck because so many actual spammers use them (e.g., “rape”). We try to be diligent about checking the spam filters and making sure none of you are getting caught in there, but sometimes we miss a few. And sometimes we ultimately don’t allow the comment onto the site (e.g., “I hate this album, this band is fucking gay” will never survive). But even then, we don’t BAN people from commenting. I think I can count on one hand the number of people we’ve banned in four years, and most of them were spammers and/or former Megadeth guitarists. So if your comment isn’t going through, consider first if you used a word we don’t allow, and if you didn’t, just shoot us a POLITE e-mail and we’ll investigage the problem ASAP. M’kay?

And on that note, here’s what we did this week:

• Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum gave us our latest Legacy Tour diary, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable worked out his black metal daddy issues, and The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks offered to write a song for any sports team that’s not from New York.
• We spoke to After the Burial’s Trent Hafdahl and American Hardcore author Steven Blush.
• We got the skinny from Darkest Hour’s Ryan Parrish about why DH and Veil of Maya got kicked off their own tour bus, and asked Jucifer’s Amber Valentine about Sean Yseult’s claim to being the only woman in metal during her tenure in White Zombie.
• We checked out the latest release from The Unraveling.
• Sergeant D. schooled us in uber-kvlt metalcore bands.
• We contemplated the worst metal albums of 2010 and the best metal songs of 2010.
• We mourned on the six year anniversary of Dimebag’s murder.
• We celebrated Ozzy Osbourne’s terrific taste in modern metal (he put Korn above Firewind).
• We had mixed feelings about the retirement of Judas Priest.
• We got excited that At the Gates are playing more shows in 2011.

Alrighty then. Next week is our last week of regular posting before we shut down for the holidays. You know what that means – YEAR END LISTS! Get ready to argue like your entire sense of self-worth depended on everyone agreeing with you all the time with no exceptions ever.

-AR

At least, it was my last time. I feel like I shaved years off my life drinking that crud. Yucky!

Here’s what else we did this week:

• The Human Abstract’s A.J. Minette kicked off his new MetalSucks column, Periphery’s Misha Mansoor checked in from The Legacy Tour, and The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks thinks that Scott Stapp will sore.
• We spoke to R. Loren of Sailors with Wax Wings and White Moth fame.
• We checked out the latest offerings from Deathspell Omega and Nekorgoblikon.
• Speaking of The Legacy Tour: if you’ve ever wanted to see what the blood in Revocation front man Dave Davidson’s head looks like, well, here’s your chance!
• We did our annual bitchfest about the Grammy noms.
• We got lost in a Map of Metal.
• We speculated about which label will land Between the Buried and Me.
• We were envious of the music criticism skills of The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Jeff Tuttle.
• System of a Down are getting back together! Just don’t call it a reunion.
• We spent way too much time talking about Slipknot.

The third night of Heavy Metal Hanukkah is coming a little after 5 pm. Have a good weekend, folks.

-AR

We’re shuttering the Mansion gates early today for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving holiday, ’cause let’s face it: you’ve all gone home already and have long since put up your “I am out of the office. If it’s urgent, call my cell phone” auto-responders. Please, people: no one cares about you. Get over it!

Here’s what happened in this abbreviated week while might or might not have been checking your Blackberries:

• Two bears reviewed Daath’s new record and called us faggots.
• Haste the Day decided to hang it up, as did Chimaira’s Jim LaMarca.
• Two Greeks showed us the only proper way to react to a brass band busking on the street.
• All of J.S. Bach’s organ works are available for free download; know your metal forefathers, son!
• Revocation’s Dave Davidson kept us up to date with the latest shenanigans to befall The Legacy Tour with Darkest Hour, Veil of Maya and Periphery, while Daath’s Eyal Levi thinks the picture looks bleak for today’s unsigned metal bands hoping to make it big.
• Are there single songs you like by bands you otherwise abhor?
• Crowbar released a new jam!
• Bob Cock spoke with Slough Feg’s Mike Scalzi.
• We Contaminated our Cooking by making baked mac and cheese and collard greens with Woe’s Chris Griggs.

We’ll be stuffing our faces full of food and booze tomorrow and recovering all day Friday. See ya Monday!

-VN

Allow me to shill for a beat before the weekend: If you haven’t already bought one of our new, limited edition shirts, go get yours now!!! They’re selling fast, and soon they will be the title of a God Forbid album. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Here’s some other fun stuff we did this week:

• Valient Thorr’s Valient Himself gave us the rundown on Fun Fun Fun Fest, The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks found the CFL fun and confusing, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable talked about the best and worst drives in the U.S., and The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley is the latest to weigh in on free metal from Scion.
• We debuted new music from Murder Construct.
• We spoke to Pentagram’s Bobby Liebling and Christopher Drew from Nevershotnever and Eatmewhileimhot.
• We checked out the latest releases from Riotgod, Electric Wizard, Rimfrost, and First Blood and Killing the Dream.
• We asked you about old school bands you wanted to like but couldn’t.
• We joined Gene Simmons, Slash, and Dave Navarro in having NOH8 for gays.
• We laughed at both Kirk Hammett and the little girl he kicked.
• We also laughed at Sebastian Bach’s frail ego.
• We got really excited about the new single from The Human Abstract.
• We also got really excited about Decibel‘s new flexi disc series.

Have a nice, relaxing weekend gang. We’ll miss you muchly, but we’ll see ya Monday.

-AR

I can’t think of anything clever to say right now, so I’m just gonna leave to my homies, Ozzy and Forest:

Here’s what we did this week:

• Veil of Maya’s Marc Okubo gave us our first Legacy Tour diary, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable gave us a lesson in why Californians should have voted to legalize weed, and The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks gave MetalSucks readers a chance to write about the NFL themselves for once.
• We debuted new music by The Secret.
• We spoke to Dredg’s Gavin Hayes, Enslaved’s Ivar Bjørnson, and Nails’ Todd Jones.
• We checked out new releases by Masters of Reality and Colombian Necktie.
• We kicked off the arguing regarding the best albums of 2010.
• We wondered, “Which is better, death metal or black metal?”
• We also wondered if we should like Mogwai.
• We regretted learning about Gump-core.
• We watched a chick shred some Faceless.
• We tried to find a stage big enough to hold Glenn Danzig’s ego.

Have nice weekend everybody. See ya Monday.

-AR

Why am I writing this week’s “Worst Week” entirely in questions? Could it be to irritate you? Or am I just trying to keep myself amused at the end of the week?

Did you know we asked some other questions this week?

• Was Sergeant D. kidding when he said that there are only two good songs in Reign in Blood?
• Why did Dimmu Borgir change their album art post-release?
• What’s the big deal about Volbeat?
• Is Glenn Danzig actually perfectly reasonable?
• Is there anything better than a Devin Townsend show?
• Can Ozzy restore your sanity?

And have you asked yourself these questions as well?

• Did you know that we debuted new music by The Ocean, Dukatalon, and Gozu?
• Did you read Anso’s chat with Dave Wyndorf from Monster Magnet?
• Is Oderus’ advice column worse than Vinnie Paul’s? Do you agree with Doc Coyle’s assessments on the issue of European metal versus American metal? Do you find, as Eyal Levi does, that creative prison is for pussies? Is Greg Weeks imagining it, or does it smell like poop and onions right now?
• Did you buy the new album from Dallas Coyle’s Genetic? You know the money goes to cancer research, right?

Are you worried that I’ll still be doing this on Monday? Do you think I care?

-AR

So as you’re no doubt aware, Halloween is on Sunday, and as you’re hopefully aware, we’re holding a “Heavy Metal Halloween” contest with SPV. The deadline was announced as being on midnight on Halloween, the logic being that people would snap their photos before they went our partying; but Vince wisely pointed out that people might not get to upload those photos right away. So now we’re extending the deadline to midnight on November 1. Hope that helps! If you need a refresher on the rules, go here.

Here’s what else happened this week:

• We debuted a new music video by Nile.
• We also debuted new music by Havok, White Arms of Athena, and Shred Sean and Allan Tecchio.
• Daath’s Eyal Levi talked about trust issues while The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks talked about football.
• We spoke to J. Randall from Agoraphobic Nosebleed and our old pal Eyal from Daath.
• We checked out the latest release from Kylesa, and a new book by the Cro-Mags’ John Joseph.
• We went on a “Reader’s Choice” local scene binge.
• We prayed for the end of karate mosh pits.
• We watched Abigail Williams lob a dildo at Iwrestledabearonce.
• We defended Phil Labonte’s angelic singing voice.
• Sergeant D. taught you about bands you would have hated/ignored in ’95.

And that’s all she wrote this week. Don’t forget that our own Gary Suarez is playing in a Jesus Lizard cover band on Sunday night. Swing by if you can!

-AR

As I sit here typing this, I’m just trying to remain upright. See, I just got back from a MASSIVE lunch with Vince and our buddy Juggalo Bob, courtesy Grill ‘Em All’s currently in-progress NYC “Victory Lap” celebrating their recent win on The Great Food Truck Race. And we definitely way over-ordered: four burgers and three orders of fries for just the three of us. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had, but now I need to crawl into bed and weep for a little while. But the Grill ‘Em All victory lap continues tonight and throughout the weekend, and if you’re in the area and you don’t take advantage, you’re a fool. Get details on all their upcoming events here, and then read Vince’s interview with Grill ‘Em All’s Ryan Harkins here.

So, before I collapse and/or poop all over the floor, here’s what else we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Gwar, Triptykon, Star One, Disembodied, First Blood, and After the Burial.
• The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks pondered Dodge commercials, Dallas Coyle killed the album, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable cleared up the meaning of the band’s latest album, Valley of Smoke, and Dååth’s Eyal Levi declared himself ready for a revolution.
• Anso wrapped up his epic chat with Atheist’s Kelly Shaefer, and we spoke to Dååth’s Emil Werstler, Star One’s Arjen Lucassen, and Firewind/Ozzy axe man Gus G.
• We checked out the latest releases by Cephalic Carnage, Krieg, and Brent A. Petrie.
• We gave a high schooler his first lesson in metal.
• We admired Will Smith’s daughter’s headbanging skills.
• We lamented Adam Lambert’s Metallica cover.
• We gave the ladies a lesson in metal etiquette.
• We considered money, music, and piracy.
• We actually had something nice to say about Earache’s Digby Pearson!

Okay, time for the poopin’! See ya Monday.

-AR