To help promote their upcoming tour, on October 11 Judas Priest will release The Chosen Few, their umpteenth career retrospective, and one which does not feature any new material. The Chosen Few does have a hook, though — I mean, beyond the fact that the band members appear on the cover only as silhouettes, I assume at least in part to downplay the fact that a certain key member is no longer in the group.

No, the hook  (and this is actually a neat idea) is that the band has let a lot of other celebrity musicians — including Ozzy, Lemmy, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kerry King, Slash, and Vinnie Paul  – choose which songs would appear on the collection. And, yeah, it’s interesting to know that Zakk Wylde is way into “Grinder,” and and that Randy Blythe and David Coverdale might actually have something to talk about at a cocktail party, and that Joe Satriani likes his Priest heavier than I might have suspected.

But like I said, there’s no new material here, so I can’t quite imagine why anyone would want this album anyway. The coolest thing about The Chosen Few is seeing which dude chose which song, and you can do that after the jump. So, look, we just saved you ten bucks.

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The legendary Accept and also-legendary Overkill played the Best Buy Theater right here in New York City last month, and our homegirl/photographic wizard Alyssa Lorenzon was there to snap pictures, so that you, our beloved readers, could live vicariously through the magic of photography. And in case that epically epic photo of Wolf Hoffmann and Herman Frank didn’t give it away, Alyssa fucking killed it dead, as always. Check out her incredible pics after the jump!

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Since summer and, thus, summer festivals are almost upon us, I thought I’d take a closer look at Sonisphere, one of the biggest European music festivals. Mostly because I wanted to do some research on it, since  it’s the only festival in which I am indulging this year. Probably.

(Note: I don’t much like festivals, especially ones that are outdoors. The bands I like never play for that long ,and unless I want to be stuck in the way back, I have to suffer through all the other artists just to get a decent spot. Not to mention, the weather. I hate hot weather. I swear to God I was born with menopause, because I’m always having hot flashes. I try to spend my summers carefully planning my routes with air conditioning and avoiding any chance of getting damp that isn’t shower or pool/sea/any body of water-related. But no one likes a cranky, sweaty bitch, and I split my time between two especially humid cities, so I grit my teeth and steel myself for my few months of personal hell.)

The Sonisphere Festival has been around only since 2009, when Stuart Galbraith joined the events company Kilimanjaro Live. His idea was to hold a series of events that would change and adapt to wherever they were being held. That’s what is really interesting about Sonisphere — unlike a traveling festival with one specific list of musicians and bands that tour the continent, they have a changing roster of artists for each “territory.” In 2009, the Germany date featured Die Toten Hosen and The Prodigy, adding a more punk and house air to the festival, while the Sweden shows featured The Cult and Primal Scream to suit their audience. Of course, there are bands that headline each show (in this case it was Metallica), but I’ve never seen audience preference be such a priority for a huge festival.

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At the Accept show I went to last week, I had a pretty funny moment with the boy when I said that it sounded like they were singing “We are nice” instead of “Neon nights.” Which got me thinking: I mishear lyrics a lot. It could be because I’m deaf, or people just don’t enunciate, or that most of the bands I listen to don’t really know English that well so they probably are singing stupid shit. Or it could be that I’d rather hear something than what I actually do — I mean, Bob Ezrin wanted a new, edgy song to appeal to those hip youngsters and thought Alice Cooper was singing “I’m edgy,” instead of “I’m eighteen.” Personally, I’m way more entertained with what my brain, or other people’s brains (as I got some volunteers for this task), comes up with. So here are a few songs that made it to my Misheard Lyrics Hall of Fame.

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It took almost five hours on the highway in rain that wasn’t so much pouring as it was bulleting down to get from Boston to New York. And guess what? Totally worth it. Because it was all for Accept.

Vince has already covered King’s X, and no offense to him or our other intrepid site leader, but meh. I chose meeting up with friends I haven’t seen for awhile and gorging myself on Korean food and Shoju over watching King’s X. (I recommend the kimchi pancakes at Miss Korea over on Korean Way. They taste nothing like kimchi, which might be why I liked them.) I caught the last few songs, and while I enjoyed watching Doug Pinnick do his thing, the music was just too prog-y for me.

But Accept, oh my good godding fuck, Accept. Okay, they were always a band I thought I’d never see live. When they got back together, I was excited, but I mean, what’s Accept without Udo and his goblin screech? It was a restrained sort of excitement. But in the past year, hearing their new stuff, watching recent footage from shows, and actually getting to talk to Wolf (pshh, jealous?) psyched me up to the point where, as another well-known screecher Brian Johnson is wont to say, I “[couldn’t] stand still.”

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Of the five or so times I’ve seen King’s X live over the years they’ve only ever played precisely one song from Dogman, their landmark (and my personal fave) album: “Dogman.” Until last night, when their current support tour with reunited German metallers Accept rolled through NYC’s 9 Dollar Beer House BB King’s and the band dug deep into the Dogman catalog to whip out three additional songs from the aforementioned masterpiece: “Pretend,” “Complain,” and “Pillow.” It was a great day to be a King’s X fan, and the nearly-packed room most certainly showed their appreciation. Those songs, mixed in with modern day classics (“Pray,” “Go Tell Somebody”) and the usual staples (“What Is This?”, “Over My Head” complete with audience singalong) made for an awesome hour and 15 minutes of King’s X music. There’s not much more we could’ve asked for from an act that wasn’t even the headliner, but we did anyway and were treated with a non-obligatory encore; “We Were Born to Be Loved,” complete with the always impressive end-section jam out.

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That’s right! One of MetalSucks’ most controversial voices — which is really saying something — is gonna be the DJ at tonight’s Heavy Metal Happy Hour at Arrow Bar (85 Avenue A). There are 2-for-1 drinks from 6:00PM until 9:00PM, so if you’ve ever wanted to get drunk and ask Gary “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS OR WHAT?!?!” in person, here’s your chance!

Now the week’s highlights:

• We debuted new music by The Absence and Vanisher.
• We spoke to Accept’s Wolf Hoffmann and Sebastian Bach (but not really with that last one).
• We checked out new releases by Filter, Neurosis, and The Last Felony.
• Vince contemplated a Mike Portnoy-less Dream Theater.
• Sergeant D. contemplated the new Escape the Fate song…
• …while we couldn’t even pay attention during the new Oceano song.
• We considered bidding on the best band name in the world.
• As it turns out, Wormrot are really good live, too.
• Neil Young and Burzum are collaborating on a new album?!?
• Wanna see a fat man eat seven cans of ravioli in time to a Fuckshovel song? OF COURSE YOU DO!!!

As Eyal promised yesterday, next week will see the full-on return of “Jumping Darkness Parade.” Plus we’ll have more contest, more video and track debuts, more interviews, more everything. Be there or be ᄆ.

-AR

Old-school thrashers Accept are back with new album Blood of the Nations and U.S. tour with King’s X, and that’s pretty much what they want you to know. Just listen to guitarist Wolf Hoffmann’s enthusiastic refrain of, “We’re back!”

After the jump, Leyla Ford talks with the legendary Accept axeman about getting the band back together, how they hooked up with new lead singer [and TT Quick frontman] Mark Tornillo, the band’s new album, their upcoming U.S. tour and more.

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#5 – Necrophagist

Technical German death metal that crushes!

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I haven’t been doing much tweeting lately (obligatory plea to follow us) - any tweets you’ve seen recently have most likely come from Vince  - but apparently yesterday for a little while the whole tweetin’ system went tweetin’ nuts, and tweet it all to hell if everyone’s follow numbers didn’t drop to zero. I guess this was a big deal if you’re the kind of person who measures your self-worth based on how many friends you have on your various social networks. For everyone else with a healthy ego, the day just kinda went on, as it tends to do.

ANYWAY, it turns out that Accept were entirely at fault for the whole thing. Okay, so it wasn’t really their fault, but it kinda sorta was. See, a Turkish tweeter named Bora Kırca is apparently a really big fan of the band’s, and tweeted the phrase “Accept pwns” – at which point he realized that typing the word “accept” followed by the name of any Twitter user (in this case, someone calling him or herself , but probably himself, “@pwns”) will automatically make said Twitter user one of your followers. (If only there was such a trick for getting girls follow you home!) Then, according to Gizmodo, Kirca “told his girlfriend, and together they started doing exactly what anyone else would have: They made famous people follow them.” And then the whole system went to shit.

Of course everything is corrected now and this story ended up being even less relevant to real life than the stories we usually post. If you’re really interested in all the technical dorkery of the entire ordeal, you can read more at Gizmodo.

Meanwhile, MetalSucks’ Twitter avatar/icon thingie is… the band Accept. (The real Accept, with Udo and everything). But seeing as they just became the most dangerous band on Twitter, that may have to change. Personally, I’d like to see it be Naughty by Nature, but I may get voted down on that one.

-AR

Thanks to everyone who e-mailed us about this!

Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

As much as I still can’t accept the fact that someone other than Udo will be singing for Accept when they do their reunion tour, I will always be able to accept that Accept kick serious amounts of ass. So much ass that their photo is our Twitter icon (follow us!). So much ass that just watching this live video makes me need to take a shit. So much ass that because of this song they were the first band to have a lyrics warning sticker on their record in the U.S. (more info starting at the 2:15 mark). Thanks to my Facebook friend Carlo T. for inspiring this post.

-VN

The fine folks at the unfuckwithable Deciblog have published a list of the Top 10 Manliest Metal Album Covers of all time, and the results are extremely manly indeed. I was thrilled at the inclusion of Accept’s super-studly Balls to the Wall, and not one but two Manowar covers. My only suggestion would have been Poison’s uber-hetero Look What the Cat Dragged In, but I’m sure Decibel would rather shut its doors forever than proclaim anything by Poison manly in the slightest.

On Accept, those German stud-machines, who came in at #4:

Uh, this album cover has been poured over by many a metalhead. What does it mean? What are Accept trying to communicate here? Should I feel slightly uncomfortable when I gaze upon this man’s sweaty/hairy tensed-up leg? Why is he holding a ball? What type of ball is it? It looks hard. How do I know this? Well, the man’s veins are showing. Not his main vein (thank Thor in a g-string!), but the veins in his hand. All these years and we still haven’t reached a conclusion. And, yes, even now we’re slightly uncomfortable.

Touche.

-VN

Holy shitballs. Former Anthrax guitarist and current Christian midget watchmaker Dan Spitz has started a new project, DeuxMonkey, and it’s so objectively stupid that I’m amazed it’s not directed by Michael Bay.

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Bravewords.com tells me that Germans balls-to-the-wallers Accept are going to reunite and tour with Mark Tornillo of TT Quick on vocals. No offense to Mr. Tornillo, I mean, I’m sure he’s a nice dude and a pretty good singer and all of that. But how can some schmuck from New Jersey replace fucking UDO??? Blasphemy! Just take one look at Udo in the video below and tell me how anyone other than that dude can fill the shoes of that dude. Not possible. I claim conspiracy and electioneering. Call your local senator and demand a recount immediately!

-VN

Revolver has their annual “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue, which is great if you’re Revolver and want to sell an assload of copies to horny teens and unhappily married men you want to oggle at semi-hot babes that you’ll never have. But for those just looking for a little shot in the arm of self-esteem, Ruthless Reviews presents The 10 Ugliest Men In Heavy Metal History, a list that’s sure to get you feeling pretty good about your chances of gettin’ lucky tonight. Appropriately, the top 3 (none of whom are pictured at right) are all men whose beauty factor we’ve commented on before, and #1 is highly MetalSucks-approved in his own right.

-VN

So I was listening to Accept’s landmark Balls to the Wall last night, and I decided to head on over to YouTube to enjoy the video fruits of the five leather-clad German men. Which is when I was reminded of the question I’ve always had about Accept… what the fuck is that singer doing in the band?? He looks nothing like the rest of them. It’s almost like their real singer was absent the day of the video shoot and the grip on the set was the best replacement they could come up with. Seriously. What UP with that dude?? And on top of that, his voice, though awesome, is completely different from any other singer at the time this side of Kevin DuBrow. Don’t get me wrong, I love Accept. Including this video. But man… what the fuck? I suppose the last laugh’s on him, because here I am playing their video 20 some odd years later.

Anyway, this video is a classic. Because NOTHING screams metal more than synchronized choreographed guitar routines. NOTHING. EXCEPT FOR WRECKING BALLS KNOCKING SHIT DOWN AND DUDES HEADBANGING INTO A WALL! My inner Beavis just came a little.

[Thanks to the asshats at SonyBMG who don’t seem to understand that I’d be giving them free advertising by embedding the video here, you’ll have to click here to watch it. They are losing views by making me link out. I’ve linked to the unofficial version just to smite them. Update: thanks to MetalSucks reader Pick-Axe Bobby who let us know about Roxwel, who have the video and allow embeds. Thanks!

-VN