So the young ‘uns might not remember this, but back in 1995, following the release of Ozzmosis, Zakk Wylde actually had to bow out of Ozzy Osbourne’s touring group. The reason? ‘Cause Mr. Wylde was busy waiting to see if he got the second guitarist spot in the then-biggest band in the world, Guns N’ Roses. GN’R's original rhythm guitarist, Izzy Stradlin, had quit in ’91, and his replacement, Gilby Clarke, was fired in ’94; the band was having a hard time filling the slot (an issue which apparently ended up being a major factor in Slash’s eventual decision to leave the group), and Axl Rose got it into his head that having a second lead guitarist would be a great idea, and would “push” the two axe slingers to challenge themselves in new and interesting ways (a theory Rose continues to test in his current version of Guns). In hindsight, this was probably a terrible idea, but at the time, when word got out that Wylde was jamming with GN’R, everyone was all excited by the possibility.

I’m not quite sure why it didn’t work out between Wylde and GN’R (Rose says that Slash refused to share the spotlight with a second lead guitarist, Slash says that Wylde was too impatient to wait for Rose to get his shit together), but last week fans got a kinda-sorta glimpse of a what a Wylde GN’R might have sounded like when the guitarist, whose Black Label Society was opening for Rose and company, hopped up on stage with the band to perform a cover of AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rosie.” Metal Insider has found multiple fan-filmed videos of the event, one of which I’ve re-posted below; it’s actually pretty amazing, ’cause Wylde doesn’t use a single guitar squeal the entire time. I wonder if that was one of Rose’s conditions when allowing him to perform with GN’R?

And since we’re on the topic of Zakk Wylde almost joining Guns N’ Roses in the mid-90s, here’s a video of Wylde and Slash jamming on Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Child” from roughly that same time period. Hearing the way these two trade licks and interact with one another might actually give you a better sense of how GN’R could have sounded had Wylde actually ended up in the band. Enjoy:

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AC/DC and Metallica are similar in a lot of ways: their creative heyday is behind them, for example, and they, too, have a massive fan base with enough stupid people who will buy anything with their logo on it to ensure that they will never go hungry.

But AC/DC are also different from Metallica in a lot of ways: they don’t ever come across as total dicks, for example, and their live shows are not embarrassing. In fact, AC/DC live is still an awesome experience that every man, woman, and child should experience at least once before they die.

And so: AC/DC, like Metallica, have now released their own version of the classic board game Monopoly, which, like Metallica’s version of the game, is really not at all different from the original Monopoly, save for the pieces are a little different, the names of the properties players need to collect are a little different, and the game is more expensive.

Unlike Metallica, though, AC/DC are only charging about fifty percent more than the “classic” edition’s price for their version of the game, whereas Metallica are charging roughly one-hundred percent more. Unless you want a special edition which comes with a DVD and a t-shirt, but when you toss those items in, the new price actually seems kinda reasonable.

You can order regular AC/DC Monopoly here, or the special edition here. Although, really, don’t order it. Children are starving, y’know?

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

What Amazon tells me is called Monopoly — The Classic Edition looks just like what we knew as plain old Monopoly when I was a kid, which makes me feel fucking old. Meanwhile, the current version of plain old Monopoly advertises the inclusion of “speed die” so you can “play faster!” Because that’s why Monopoly games always take so long to finish — the die just aren’t aerodynamic enough.

For fuck’s sake.

ANYWAY, the previously-announced edition of Monopoly centering around Metallica, the band of the proletariat, has been released. And I know it’s immodest of me to pat myself on the back, but I totally called it: Metalopy costs forty-three bucks before tax or shipping, which is more than twice as much as the nineteen bucks you’d pay for “classic” (FUCK YOU, PARKER BROS.) Monopoly. And what does one get for the privilege of shelling out that extra cash? Again, it didn’t take a psychic to see this shit coming:

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…so says Australian charter boat operator Matt Waller, who has experimented with different types of music in underwater caged speakers, and found that sharks would get all zen and mellow when he blasted AC/DC.  In the future, Waller plans to try out tunes by Zeppelin, the White Stripes, and Ozzy.

The funny thing is, none of those are too br00tal……something tells me a little Gojira might make the great whites seriously hungry for flesh.

Read the full article here.

Thanks to Jessica V. for the tip!

-KW

Vince isn’t here, so I guess it falls to me to take over his regular “Neilstein SoundScam” column… BWA-HA-HA!!!

Some of the more noteworthy sales stats from the latest Top Hard Music charts after the jump!

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Whether you’re a tri-corner hat wearing Teabagger who thinks taxes are the work of the devil, a bleeding heart tree-hugging Lefty who believes The Man will take care of everything, or a corporate cocksucking conservative who believes GE deserves a $3.2 billion tax refund despite raking in more than $14 million in profit, today is inevitable.

Death (metal) and taxes.

Yes, normally in America, we must file our taxes by April 15. That was last Friday. Fortunately, for many of you slackers out there, Friday was also a Washington holiday to celebrate Emancipation Day; the day President Abraham Lincoln freed nearly 3,100 slaves in Washington D.C. in 1862, nine months before he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. Normally, this momentous occasion is observed on April 16 in D.C.; however, since that date fell on a Saturday this year, taxes get pushed back until today.

So, if you are reeling from your continuing procrastination, maybe you can find a few songs here to get you through the tedium (AKA the final hours before tonight’s filing deadline). Or, maybe you are already done with your paperwork and want to stroll down the aisle of taxing tunes and moneyed music.

Some of it is from metalheads, but most comes from the world of rock.

Figures, that’s where the real money is (was) made.

The Beatles – “Taxman” (Cartoon)

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I was bummed last month when I heard that FUBAR‘s Dean “Deaner” Murdoch (Paul J. Spence) was detained at the Canadian border and would not grace the SXSW Film Festival with his presence. So, I took matter into my own hands and tracked the one-balled mustachioed metalhead down and asked him for some sticky pearls of wisdom. Instead, he gave me a Top 10 list. – CM

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One of the things I love about people who have way too much free time and no healthy outlet for their creativity is that sometimes they make things which are fun to watch when you’re high. For example, this:

According to Gizmodo, the above contraption was made by a dude named Chris Marion, and “interfaces a Guitar Hero guitar with a microcontroller, which in turn powers relays that activate solenoid valves on five fire poofers.” In other words, when he plays Guitar Hero, he gets all Rammstein-like.

Here’s another video of this terrific, universe-altering creation at work, this one set to some good ol’ Motley Crue:

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See what I did there?

ANYWAY, I’m sitting here listening to said new DevilDriver song (which is available for download here for the low low cost of giving up your e-mail address’ cherry) for the second time now, my thought is basically this: it’s a good song, and I wonder if anyone besides the DevilDriver faithful will care.

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So Yahoo! has Ozzy Osbourne’s personal list of the Top Ten Metal Albums of 2010, and it may or may not surprise you to learn that it’s a really, really interesting mix of terrible and brain dead. (By the way, if you don’t like MetalSucks articles where I can really, really, really angry about something of less than no importance, then you should stop reading now.)

Okay so check out his list, and then I’ll tell you my thoughts. And before we begin, I should point out that it’s theoretically possible Ozzy didn’t actually choose these release, but, rather, than one of his handlers did it for him. But since it’s being labeled as “Ozzy’s list,” I am going to treat it as though it were written by Ozzy.

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At the Accept show I went to last week, I had a pretty funny moment with the boy when I said that it sounded like they were singing “We are nice” instead of “Neon nights.” Which got me thinking: I mishear lyrics a lot. It could be because I’m deaf, or people just don’t enunciate, or that most of the bands I listen to don’t really know English that well so they probably are singing stupid shit. Or it could be that I’d rather hear something than what I actually do — I mean, Bob Ezrin wanted a new, edgy song to appeal to those hip youngsters and thought Alice Cooper was singing “I’m edgy,” instead of “I’m eighteen.” Personally, I’m way more entertained with what my brain, or other people’s brains (as I got some volunteers for this task), comes up with. So here are a few songs that made it to my Misheard Lyrics Hall of Fame.

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This is my hometown of Perth. On the odd chance that you’ve heard of it, it’s probably as the home of Bon Scott, Sam Worthington (actually, both went to my high school), or (eeeeeew) Pendulum. As you can see from the above diagram, it’s pretty far away from anything that isn’t the Indian Ocean. In fact, we’re a full 2,104kms (1, 307 miles) from the nearest major city, making us the second most isolated city on earth. Because we’re so far away from everything, a lot of smaller bands don’t tour out here, and guitars and drums cost a shitload extra because of the shipping costs. But we do have a lot of sand. And rocks. And coastline.

Anyway, I thought this would be a cool opportunity to share with you guys some of the better heavy bands from the rapidly-evaporating cultural oasis that I call home.

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In the second AC/DC bit of news not directly related to the band in as many days — see also this video of a sign language interpreter’s “performance” of “Big Balls” — neo-Bodom metallers Mutiny Within have posted a cover of “Highway to Hell” available exclusively at SMNnews. I like how they start it off as a straight cover then kick it into Mutinized overdrive starting with the second verse. That’s how covers should be done; a good mix of the original and a new take on it. British singer Chris “We’re from New Jersey” Clancy totally nails Brian Johnson’s high-pitched wail.

Going against popular metal critic / tr00 / br00talz grain, I’m still a fan of Mutiny Within’s self-titled debut released earlier this year on Roadrunner. No, it’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s all about the songs, man! Dig a few of the band’s original tracks on MySpace, and check out the interview with bassist AJ Jacobs I conducted earlier this year.

-VN

This video of a sign language interpreter at the San Bernadino, CA stop of Ozzfest last week [sent in by Joey Ladiv] begs the question: why would any deaf people be at a concert in the first place? He’s clearly officially sanctioned by the venue / concert seeing as he’s behind the barrier and there are security guards right in front of him; maybe there’s some “equal oppotrunity” measure in California that mandates his presence? I don’t know… it strikes me as pretty fucking stupid and a waste of money. Pardon me for being un-PC / insensitive, but this seems about as unnecessary — even insulting — as a wheelchair ramp to a game of Dance Dance Revolution. If I’m way off-base here and there’s a big contingent of deaf metalheads… well then, color me corrected.

Anyway, this guy’s act makes for some unexpected entertainment when AC/DC’s ode to manliness “Big Balls” comes on over the PA between bands. It’s good to know that the sign for Invisible Oranges is universal.

-VN

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

There weren’t any real hot button topics this week, so we decided to just play a fun game that used to keep Vince and Axl occupied for many a lunch period when they were kids:

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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When the Key Club in West Hollywood closed its doors in December 2009, the eight-legged party beast Steel Panther had to find a new hair rock habitat for their weekly shows. At first, it was a relief when Michael Starr and crew cock-strutted a few blocks down Sunset to the House of Whites Blues: admission got cheaper, the room bigger, and sound better. But, for the sleaze of hair rock, a music venue/shopping mall/tourist trap isn’t the preferred setting. So sometime around March, I started to long for a return to the safety of a drug-friendly sweat hole with dark corners and unpolice-able bathrooms. After all, the Key Club was once the site of Ben Gazzari’s eponymous rock club, where the sleaze don once proudly showcased his barely-legal harem and, for VIPs, his somewhat prescient home video skills; meanwhile, HoB has a freakin’ gift shop.

You’d want maximum possible sleaze, too, once you survey the crowd. It’s mostly tourists (literally and figuratively), but filled out with solitary guys like me, unaccompanied and dead serious, fidgeting through extended bouts of boob-flashing  (our sighs seem to say “Just show ‘em already and let’s get on with the Whitesnake covers!”) and secretaries-gone-wild sing-alongs (not to be a sandy vagina, but I submit that “Don’t Stop Believin’” is not hair rock). Our visual mating call is a non-ironic hair metal shirt and a general vibe of impatience for the super hits.

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And thar she is in all her full-bodied glory!

The cover was done by Les Toil, whose trademark “big girl” style kinda reminds me of Coop. Comments Toil on the cover, “Passive and subtle were never qualities that attracted me to rock & roll. Apparently the same can be said for my appreciation of the opposite sex. I want a fat bottomed girl. A whole lotta Rosie. A big-legged woman who does (or doesn’t) have soul. In other words, I want a whole lotta love!”

As previously reported, Whole Lotta Love: An All-Star Tribute to Fat Chicks is an homage to the fine bigger-bottomed ladies of rock n’ roll, and will feature covers of like-minded tunes such as Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls,” AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rosie,” Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom,” Poison’s “Unskinny Bop” and more, played by an all-star cast of musicians.

Can we get an “amen” for the lovers of full-bodied chicks in the e-room? Amen! As many commenters pointed out the last time I ran a story about this compilation, there’s definitely a difference between “fat” and “full-bodied.” It’s unfortunate that this comp’s creators have chosen to use the former when they really mean the latter, but I guess the word “fat” catches your attention. Whole Lotta Love will come out August 31st, and is sure to spark the ire of skinny girl-lovers worldwide!

-VN

-AR

April 20th was circled in my calendar well in advance, and not just because it’s holiday we at the MS Mansion take very seriously — April 20th marked the biggest release date of the year thus far for metal releases with new offerings from Periphery, Ratt, Sevendust, another greatest hits repacking from AC/DC, Circa Survive, Airbourne and more. Let’s see how those releases fared in their first week out, as well as how other metal and hard rock records are performing after the jump.

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