MetalSucks

Heathenfest America, the not-Paganfest-monikered tour which is otherwise basically Paganfest for all intents and purposes, gets underway next week! Break out those viking hats and beer steins and get on out there to catch Eluveite, Belphegor, Alestorm (the superior pirate metal band), Vreid and Kivimetsan Druidi at what’s sure to be the best / dorkiest / drunkest show of the Fall. Full list of dates for the MetalSucks-sponsored trek after the jump.

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The headline says it all; isn’t that lineup awesome? It’s kind of like Paganfest except slightly less dorky / more evil (nothing against Paganfest — we love that tour too). We were bummed Eluveitie canceled this year’s Paganfest II appearance so we’re excited to see them again, and we’re all for a tour that includes blackened death metallers Belphegor and the better-of-the-two pirate metal bands, Alestorm. Kivimetsan Druidi and Vreid are mostly new to me but they seem like they’ll fit right in on this tour.

Honestly, this year’s Paganfest was a bit underwhelming so perhaps this is a chance for redemption. Korpiklaani shouldn’t have been headliners, and while the lineup was solid it wasn’t strong enough to bring out all the crazy pagan-metal partiers: I was the only douchebag in the entire place wearing a viking helmet, for realz. Seeing as Heathenfest kicks off in the dark, dim early days of November, maybe it’ll provide a good excuse for sun-deprived metalheads to go and get rowdy with some frosty brews and pagan metal. Psyched!

-VN

It’s hard to believe there are two new Pirate Metal bands breaking in 2009, but here we are in June and both Alestorm and Swashbuckle have already toured the U.S. extensively. We’ve gotten 3 irate reader emails demanding we post the new Alestorm video “Keelhauled,” so here it is; and it’s pretty fucking bad-ass.

For reference, the new Swashbuckle video is posted after the jump. While both videos are pretty cool, I’m feelin’ the Alestorm track way more than I am the Swashbuckle track. The Alestorm track sounds like true, beer-swiggin’, raping and pillaging Scottish Pirate Metal, while the Swashbuckle track sounds like tongue-in-cheek thrash played by guys dressed up as pirates from… New Jersey. You be the judge, and tell us what you think in the comments.

-VN

Alestorm – “Keelhauled”

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We’re big fans of pagan metal here at the MS Mansion. BIG fans. Just last night Sammy O’Hagar waltzed in at about 5pm, still drunk and rowdy from the night before (!), dressed in a full get-up of warpaint and animal skins. Obviously there was no other choice at that point but to hand over control of the MS Mansion Mothership to the capable hands of the monkeys, so we put on Turisas’ The Varangian Way and started the party right back up again for the ol’ chap; the freight train kept rolling until at least 4am. Last thing I remember is Kip jumping on top of Axl’s desk and screaming something about “Battle!” and how we need to take vengeance against the other metal websites that constantly rip us off. As I type this, Sammy’s passed out in the bathtub clutching a bottle of Jim Beam while DBR and Satan Rosenbloom are snuggling in my bed; I had to sleep on the couch. Those fucking assholes.

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Avast ye mateys. And starboard your bows. Or something. Did you really think there wouldn’t be a sub-genre of metal called pirate metal? Don’t be silly. Amidst the burgeoning sub-genres of pagan, folk, celtic, and viking metal are Perth, UK’s Alestorm who bill themselves as “True Scottish Pirate Metal” (as if there was any doubt?) and take their eye-patches and puffy shirts quite seriously. The first 40 seconds of “Captain Morgan’s Revenge” — the first song on their MySpace page — are normal enough for metal these days… and then comes the piratic fury. And yes, they really do sing about sailing, swigging, masts and planks.

What exactly is an Alestorm anyway… a storm of ales? If so, that is so metal. And we certainly wouldn’t mind finding out first-hand.

-VN

[Alestorm on MySpace]